(A recap written quickly by me, while I'm at work and procrastinating.)
When a female floater with a bag of heroin-- conveniently the same heroin as Vulcan Simmons sold-- down her throat is discovered by a man on a boat, Castle and Beckett get into conveniently separated hijinks. Oh, and there's more shit on LokSat.
[Spoiler (click to open)]
In the world’s fastest investigation, Ryan and Esposito discover that the floater’s name is Laura Madden, and that she works for Iconic Cruise Lines. Beckett boards the ship to talk to the crew, and promptly finds Castle there because he is simultaneously trying to horn in on all of her cases, and butt into all her business, via Hayley who is back in his office online stalking Beckett. But don’t worry, because of the episode title we also realize that Beckett is also doing some shit. Vikram found them a strip club that had been raided to do their mediocre (and unseen) spy work in, and he purposefully sent that text to Beckett and Castle to cockblock them.
Anyway! The ship’s Captain is a grade-a douche because he doesn’t want to lose his job, and the company doesn’t want any bad press, and he basically says they have 30 minutes before they're removed from the ship/before the ship hits international waters. Because they have 30 minutes before they’re kicked off the ship (and because…well we all know why) Castle goes to talk to the other dancers on the ship, and pretends to be a customer who paid to work with the dancers--but really this is just to show Nathan Fillion’s superb buffoonery skills--and Beckett goes to talk to the Elderly Gossip Girls. They meet back up after they realize the bartender sells drugs, and that Laura’s stuff may be stashed somewhere around the ship. After a kind of dirty conversation about the sex scene in Titanic, where Stana Katic uses her best bedroom voice, they decide to check the life jackets and find a camcorder where the victim recorded a drug dealer moving around a loooot of heroin when she was really just trying to make a documentary about the cruise ship throwing garbage in the ocean.
They haul in the suspect, his legal aid attorney is the (possibly balding) Kristofer Polaha aka Baze from Life Unexpected, who by the way, is connected to the larger LokSat/Bracken mystery—that I don’t understand and am not invested in—and he pokes holes in their case.
Meanwhile, Hayley and Castle decide to hack Beckett’s phone. In order for Hayley to be able to do that Castle has to call Beckett and keep her on the line for a certain amount of time, Castle brings up their “naked time” and Beckett calls Castle “Rick” for the second time that episode, and then says she has to do “Captain stuff?”. Vikram and Hayley try to out-hack each other, with visuals that belong in “The Net,” while Castle and Beckett have weird conversations that definitely nod at the episode’s title, and eventually Vikram “nukes” Castle’s system.
Castle confronts Beckett at the 12th about her lying and being shady as fuck. She asks why he doesn’t trust her, he says he “would walk into a tornado for her,” she says she’d die without him, and then says that “[she] needs this obsession…[she] likes being broken.” Espo interrupts and Castle leaves after making a dig about Beckett having a job to do and her being the best at it. Espo and Ryan shoot Beckett’s only lead after he runs and points a gun at them.
Vikram and Beckett realize that Baze is connected to LokSat, and decide to track his every move in order to get closer to LokSat.
The episode ends with Beckett interrupting Castle talking to that weird HER-esque device, with Aubrey Plaza’s voice, and them having the following conversation:
“Everything that you said, you were absolutely right,” she says.
“Could you be more specific?”
“That our break-up could have just been a cover, so that we could bring down LokSat together.”
“Yeah,” Rick says, “I wish you would have come to me.”
“Well, I’m here now. So let’s do it,” Kate says, thinking that he’ll be fine.
But they aren’t, and Rick says, “It’s not that easy.”
“I thought that you would–”
“–just take you back, in spite of what you put me through…?” Rick is angry.
“Look, Castle, I’m sorry. I hate that I hurt you. That was never what I wanted."
“You did hurt me, Kate — and what’s worse, you lost faith in me,” he tells her.
Beckett says that she believes in him, and admits that she made a garbage decision. “No, I never--I need you, Rick ³ . I didn’t realize how much I needed you until this happened,” she states. “Please, don’t make me do this without you.”
After a moment of thought, Castle says "Okay," assumedly meaning that they will keep pretending that they're broken up, but really they'll be having secret sex.
They kiss, aggressively, and Castle says, “Oh, you do realize that I am going to have to punish you a little first?”
“Very naked punishing.”
They ruin the moment with the HER-device saying “Aw, you guys.”
Source 2: me, my ears, and streaming sites.