6. Sam Smith
Considered by many to be the new soul man, Sam Smith has climbed his way up the charts and into our hearts. Smith was nominated for a Grammy(I don't know how many nor do I care to look it up) and you couldn't listen to the radio this year without hearing him wail through your speakers. Although Smith has made a name for himself in 2014, what is it that makes him stand out? No, I'm asking you....What makes him stand out? I thought so. Nothing makes him stand out. Smith is a man with a warm voice, an inviting familiar Quaker Man face, and lyrics that are easy to relate to....And yet, we were all singing along with him this year.
5. Meghan Trainor
No treble. Trainior, who sings the hit 'All About That Bass' had one of the catchiest songs of the year. It was all over the tv commercials, radio, clothing stores. Everywhere. But here is the problem: This shouldn't have been an actual song. This is one of those songs that you hear on an Apple ad that you've been meaning to look up to see who sings it but you never do. Because you don't care THAT much. It's a fucking jingle. All of her music sounds like a big ass jingle. She is a swamp full of ordinary. Will she stick around? Probably not. But her jingles had us entertained for 3 seconds...Plus, she earned herself a Grammy nomination. Good for her.
4. Charlie XCX
Her popularity leaves me puzzled. So I'll make it quick. She did that song with Iggy(who is next on this list) and had that catchy chorus, but anyone could have sang that. She belongs on a sloppy Degrassi band. I've said enough.
3. Iggy Azalea
This is a rapper. Like an actual rapper. She's had a lot of success this year...nominated for Grammys and everything. Why? That, I do not know. I mean, 'Fancy' had a good chorus that was pretty "catchy". But Iggy has no flow, no stage presence, and every time I hear her rap my stomach turns because it reminds me of someone who is gagging and can't breathe. She reminds me of Frosted Mini-Wheats(or Grape-Nuts) that got too soggy and needs to be thrown out. She's a white picket fence. Everything about her is average. But people seemed to like average this year.
2. Nick Jonas and Tinashe
I'm counting them as one artist. They both TRIED to make R&B music this year and failed. Tinashe had that song '2 On' which was pretty catchy. But we've already heard that song in 2006. Jonas was one of the biggest tryhards of 2014 but I don't feel like getting into that. His biggest hit was 'Jealous'.....Which is basically a discount version of Miguel's 'Adorn'. It's not a bad song. It's just....there. Jonas and Tinashe even made a remix of 'Jealous'. I don't know why....Maybe they thought if two ordinary mediocre artists made a song together it would = exceptional? I don't know.
1. Taylor Swift
Unlike the rest of these artists on this list, Taylor has been around for a long time. Nothing about her has ever been spectacular and stand-out. She sings like it's karaoke night, she dances like she's in her room with a hairbrush dancing to her favorite song, she has the posture of Randall from Monsters inc., and her music isn't really that innovative or ground breaking. But there is NO doubt that Taylor Swift owned 2014, and rightfully so. 1989 has become on of the most successful albums of all time, and she has already had two #1 songs from this album. I don't really have any criticism for Taylor Swift as an artist. So why did I put Taylor number 1 on this list? Because I'm trying to make a point. If you're going to be mediocre, own that shit. That's the thing about Taylor: She knows she can't sing, and she knows she isn't the best dancer. But you still see her up there trying as if she can. And it works. Not everyone can have the aura of Beyonce or Madonna. But we all wish we did. And that's what makes Taylor's average talent stand out. She's a kitten with the confidence of a lion.
Let me wrap this up
My point in writing this long ass list wasn't to trash these successful artists(except...maybe two). They're out there doing their thing and I respect that. I think we can all agree that 2014 wasn't groundbreaking in music. I've been hearing everyone talk about how this year was one of the worst years in music in a long time(my friends haven't stopped mentioning this since December started). But what I'm trying to say is, let 2014 be 2014: The year of mediocrity. Every time I think of what a bad year 2014 was for music fans, I think about how the big artists(the ones who actually try to be innovative) are crafting their shit to perfection. Maybe we needed a basic ass year. A year where we soak up everything that is average about life. So when 2015 rolls around, we'll be grateful for all the MANY anticipated albums(and there are a shitload of them) that will be remembered and also the spectacular moments in life that happen only every once in a while. And maybe you will be inspired to kick some ass in 2015 and be a pioneer in your own life.
ONTD, are you okay with 2014 being average when it comes to music?
P.S. Don't come into this post with your indie ass bullshit talking about "but this band had a good album". I don't give a shit. I wasn't talking about them. No one has heard of them.
1 2 3 4 5 6