Vice: Beyonce and Jay Z's Tour Might Be the Most Boring Tour of the Summer


People react as if entrance to Beyoncé and Jay Z's On the Run tour comes by “luck.” “You’re so lucky” to be so close to our Lords and Saviors Beyoncé and Jay Z. Selfies and Snapchats are taken on the train on the way to MetLife Stadium. The audience cries out when her fragrance commercial plays on the big screens an hour before show time. It’s something to brag about on Facebook, to inspire jealousy on Instagram. I’m here; you’re not, have fun tapping my pictures.

While it feels special to gain entry, the show itself seems removed, like it’s happening somewhere else on a separate stage, produced by Hollywood men in front of Hollywood cameras. It’s almost as if the whole thing had been filmed and edited ahead of time.

The show is so excruciatingly perfect that it comes off…well, like, whatever. Beyoncé possesses a strength that is otherworldly, and Jay’s at least in orbit. There’s no room for error which can be boring. It’s like getting the exact birthday present you asked for, but still having to act surprised for three hours. Or getting caught with a carton of cigarettes, and being forced to smoke them all. The fog is perfect. The lights are perfect. Their marriage is perfect, TMZ video notwithstanding.

Basically, the show is too predictable and perfect that it's forcedCollapse )

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