".@Beyonce and Jay Z announced their summer tour schedule. I don't think I'm ready for this jelly."
– Ellen DeGeneres, riffing off Destiny's Child anthem "Bootylicious" in response to the couple's upcoming joint summer tour, on Twitter
"The best one that's ever been done on the show ever."
– Jimmy Fallon, on Emma Stone's epic lip-synch performance to DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win," on The Tonight Show
"I'm looking at your teeth and I'm going, 'That's my brother!'"
– Michael Strahan to Keith Urban after watching a throwback clip of the gap-toothed teenage singer belting out Air Supply's "All Out of Love" for an Australian talent competition, on Live! with Kelly and Michael
"I thought it was about time!"
– Martha Stewart, on friend George Clooney's engagement to Amal Alamuddin, to PEOPLE
"Pose like Mommy!"
– Nick Cannon, sharing an adorable snapshot of 3-year-old daughter Monroe channeling mom Mariah Carey, on Instagram
"Think I'm kidding? Try calling it!! B––!!!"
– Blake Shelton, who upped the ante on his The Voice sparring partner Adam Levine when he posted the Sexiest Man Alive's cell phone number, on Twitter
"CBS and I are not getting divorced. We are 'consciously uncoupling.'"
– Craig Ferguson, who announced he's leaving his late-night talk show at the end of the year, on The Late Late Show
"We were on our way to Thailand to see my parents, flying commercial first-class. We were under a blanket. We weren't even in one of those pod things. I feel like we should get a trophy for that."
– Chrissy Teigen, on joining the mile-high club with husband John Legend, to Cosmopolitan
"The first time I met him I assumed he'd be a little f––er, but that was eight years ago."
– Seth Rogen, who admitted he didn't expect to like Neighbors costar Zac Efron, to PEOPLE
"As far back as i can remember, i always wanted to be a mean girl..."
– Lindsay Lohan, celebrating the 10th anniversary of Mean Girls, on Twitter
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! :-) xoxo