Remember when Lady Gaga was virtually infallible? When critics and fans bowed at her altar, and even detractors couldn’t begrudge her the stranglehold of influence (and if not necessarily influence, definitely uncontested saturation) on pop culture? I ask if you remember because it seems that for Gaga, that’s all we have left: the memories.
No one gives a fuck about Lady Gaga anymore. Last week, she released her 11-minute, 46-second epic “Artpop Film” for the track “G.U.Y,” and almost no one gave a shit. The video has just over 23 million views at the time of writing—a number that’s likely to grow, but based on the performance of her last video epic, “Marry The Night,” it won’t likely be by much—but also one that’s disappointing for Gaga in the wake of contemporaries like Katy Perry and Beyoncé, whose videos have amassed 165 million (“Dark Horse”) and 129 million (“Drunk In Love”) views respectively. Even Jennifer Lopez’s recently released video “I Luh Ya Papi” has pulled in 17 million views, and J.Lo doesn’t even have a fun nickname for her fans. Considering none of these other videos are a performance epic to rival Gaga’s, which was filmed at Hearst Castle, that’s got to be pretty frustrating for the Gaga-sphere. I mean, all Bey did was dance on a beach.
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SHE SEEMS DESPERATE
All of the above smooshed together reeks of desperation. Her questionable creative partnerships, her desire to shock simply to be shocking, the objective shittiness of her music—everything comes together to pull back a curtain to a Gaga that’s hanging on by the skin of her teeth, bloody nails digging into whatever surface is soft enough for them to sink into. It’s hard to stay relevant, but it’s harder still to do so with such a bold and conspicuous personality as Gaga’s. And instead of staying calm in the riptide, Gaga’s actions betray the opposite—that she’s thrashing about, taking in lungfulls of water. She’s finally succumbed to the death knell of her career, and in what are perhaps her final moments, like a monkey, she’s flinging shit at a wall, praying in between swings that something will stick.