Michael Keaton: "HE'S GONNA SUCK!"
Heath Ledger: "HE'S GONNA SUCK!"
Daniel Craig: "HE'S GONNA SUCK!"
Peter Capaldi: "HE'S GONNA SUCK!"
Every single person cast in Batman vs. Superman: "HE'S GONNA SUCK!"
As you can see, nerd outrage is an inexact science at best. And yet here we are, getting angrier and angrier with every announcement as to who plays who in Man of Steel 2: Steeler and Steelerer.
Ben Affleck -- the Gigli guy - is Batman. Jeremy Irons, a psychotic murderous terrorist lion, is Alfred. Jessie Eisenberg, a bushy-haired kid best known for playing the freakin' Facebook guy, is Lex goddamned Luthor. And Gal Gadot becomes Wonder Woman after a few Fast and Furious films and nothing else. In many ways, this seems less like a movie, and more like a scientific experiment to learn just how quickly millions of dorky brains can explode into a mass of goo the size of the Pacific. And you know what? They totally should. At this point, DC should just fuel the hate, and assemble the most unlikable cast imaginable. Every role should be played by somebody that Outraged Nerd Inc. will immediately proclaim doesn't "fit the part," but who could theoretically turn in an awesome performance and prove ONI wrong yet again. Might we suggest ...
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