M (morgan90) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

ONTD ORIGINAL POST: ONTD's Most Memorable Ex-Boyfriends

Over the years, various celebrities have become so beloved by ONTD that our collective admiration elevates them to the highest honor that can be bestowed on a celebrity: that of the ONTD boyfriend. Some of these relationships have been going strong for years, while others enjoyed only a brief fling before we moved onto our next man of the month.

But like any real relationship, not every boyfriend is made for life. Come into this post to learn about the most messy, uncomfortable, and shameful breakups in ONTD history.

Joesph Gordon-Levitt

Reason for breakup: Casual misogyny

Inception and 500 Days of Summer propelled Joesph Gordon-Levitt from a relic of 90s nostalgia to a mainstream Hollywood heartthrob, and ONTD ate him right up. The affair came to an abrupt end in summer 2012 when, at a Comic-Con panel for Looper, JGL attempted to compliment co-star Emily Blunt by saying that "most pretty girls aren't funny." Blunt was reportedly "bristled", and so were we.

Michael Fassbender

Reason for breakup: Domestic abuse allegations

Back in 2011, ONTD was riding high on Fassbender Fever with the release of X-Men: First Class and Shame. The affair was short-lived, as Fassbender's new-found fame dredged up a 2009 petition for a restraining order from an ex that claimed, among other things, that he beat her while drunk and dragged her from a car causing her to burst an ovarian cyst. Though the claim was dropped, and it later came out that the ex had a history of filing false police reports, the honeymoon was already long over.

Michael B. Jordan

Reason for breakup: General douchiness

The breakout star of Fruitvale Station, Michael B. Jordan was a new ONTD fling who seemed destined for greatness. A long-term relationship was nixed in a recent interview with Glamour Magazine, where he was asked he looks for in a woman. MBJ's type? Someone who's "comfortable in the kitchen" and that after midnight, his "checklist" for hookups goes down to "Two legs. Pulse." Sorry Michael, we don't play that way.

Alexander Skarsgard

Reason for breakup: Kate Bosworth Evan Rachel Wood (lol oops)

Alexander Skarsgard wasn't our first boyfriend, but our breakup with him is the stuff legends are made of. Back when True Blood was still culturally relevant Skarsgard was ONTD's main fling, but after he was spotted with Evan Rachel Wood in New Orleans, we felt betrayed as no other man before or after has made us feel. You know how people always say "ONTD will hate [insert male celebrity] when he starts dating someone"? This is where it comes from.

Christian Bale

Reason for breakup: Asshole behavior

Christian Bale as Batman was a source of endless joy for ONTD, from Kermit Bale to Senor Bale to this GIF, but it all came crashing down during the filming of 2009's Terminator Salvation. In the unforgettable "Baleout" incident, audio leaked of Bale screaming at a director and threatening to walk off the film. Though he's still an ONTD fav and we love his movies, the whole controversey confirmed suspicions that yeah, he's kind of an asshole, and definitely not boyfriend material.

Shia LaBeouf

Reason for breakup: Being Shia LaBeouf

While we tend to own up to all of our exes and the lessons we learned from them, Shia Labeouf is the one boyfriend we like to pretend never even happened. Though we were smitten with his boyish good looks around the time of Transformers and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, his gradual downward spiral since his exit from the Transformers series has led us to distance ourselves from him as quickly as possible.

Eli Roth

Reason for breakup: You shouldn't have to ask

You can't talk about ONTD exes without talking about Eli Roth. The history of the Blueberries is well-documented and doesn't necessitate being repeated yet again, but suffice to say that our weekend-long "relationship" with Eli Roth is forever etched on the history of this site and we will never live it down (and rightly so!). It also produced what is possibly my favorite mod post in this site's history.

Source: My PhD in ONTD History, various ONTD posts linked in this post, my friend who has a bike
Tags: alexander skarsgård, christian bale, eli roth, joseph gordon levitt, michael fassbender, ontd original, shia labeouf
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