pedantstools (peddlestools) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

John Waters is perfect, water is wet

Cult film director John Waters is headed to New York next month for his annual Christmas Show, a hilarious yuletide one-man extravaganza that's cemented his celebrated status as "the filthiest man alive." We caught up with the "Pope of Trash" this week and dished about everything from the dive bar scene in his native city of Baltimore to his least favorite Christmas presents.

Are there any wild stories we can expect at the Christmas Show this year?
Plenty of them, seventy minutes of them. Everything from the presents I want for Christmas, holiday music that I wish would come out, rap Christmas songs that aren't out. I talk a lot about my hatred of the Easter bunny. I talk about inappropriate gifts to give people, Christmas TV specials I'd like to have, Christmas movies I'd like to make like "Prancer,"—that one was a gay reindeer, I don't know why they never thought about it before. How I'd remake all my own movies into Christmas shows.

And the rudest thing you can ever give anybody: a fruit basket. I can buy a goddamn pear. I'm always shocked when I open one of these. Who would dare send me ten pears?

I can buy a pear, you know? It's not so hard to find a pear. I think gift baskets should be drugs or cigarettes, things you'd never buy for yourself.
I don't take drugs or smoke cigarettes anymore, but I think a gift basket filled with them would terrific.

A pear. How dare you think I'd—you know, I'm always shocked when I get them. I said it at my Christmas show last year and Marianne Boesky did send me ten pears, which I thought was really funny.

After we put out this interview, everyone's gonna send you pears.
Oh, that's alright. You know, send me candy, though, or anything. My mother, who is a very, very straight lovely woman, we looked back on this: when I was young in my Easter basket I used to get a carton of Kools surrounded by black jellybeans.

click through for talk on felching, hitchhiking, and moreCollapse )
A John Waters Christmas will be held on December 14th and 15th at Stage 48 in Hells Kitchen. Tickets can be purchased online; general admission is $45, and for $99 you get a post-show meet-and-greet with the man himself.

Go to source to read about John Waters on dive bars
Tags: film director, interview
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