pigeon_poop (pigeon_poop) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

The 25 (5) Most Laughable Sex Scenes in Movie History

Despite the classification, not all sex scenes are sexy. Some are sad, others scary, and others still are downright laughable (though not always by design). And not even the world's biggest stars are immune to showing off some slightly pathetic seduction techniques on occasion (we're looking at you Leo and Kate, RPatz and KStew and Bennifer: Part I).

But even those actors who make a habit of disrobing for the camera have expressed trepidation of the experience. Following her star-making turn in Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone told Playboy that: "I don't go, like, 'Oooh, I can't wait to rip off my clothes and jump around in front of everybody.'" Which is surprising, considering Stone's early career—and her double-appearance on the list that follows.

From Nicolas Cage's over-the-top O-Face in The Rock to Elizabeth Berkley's sea mammal in distress sexual gyrations in Showgirls, we're counting down The 25 5 Most Laughable Sex Scenes in Cinema History.

22. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)

Given its PG-13 rating, The Twilight Saga can't really go the True Blood route in its depiction of vampires love-making. But the cliché honeymoon sex scene in the series' final entry, in which fingers grab at sheets, toes curl, and some CGI explosions are employed to illustrate how good it was likely made even a couple of RPatz's tween fans giggle (and not in that awkward, embarrassed way).

9. Gigli (2003)

Gigli is widely known as one of the worst movies ever made—the punchline that replaced Ishtar when one was in need of a box office turkey to reference. And speaking of turkey, the film also contains one of the worst come-ons ever committed to celluloid. When Jennifer Lopez decides it's time to give in to Ben Affleck's charms—despite the fact that she's playing a lesbian—she gently suggests that a little oral sex might be a good way to get the party started by telling him it's "Turkey Time." When he's understandably confused, she clarifies: "Gobble, gobble." Two unsexier words have ever been uttered!

5. Jack Frost (1997)

Warning: The most infamous scene in Jack Frost—in which the titular snowman attacks a pre-American Pie Shannon Elizabeth in the bathtub—is not a consensual one. But that doesn't mean that it's still not completely ridiculous, especially when the "arrival" of Jack Frost is announced by his carrot nose floating up from the water.

3. Howard the Duck (1986)

OK, so there's no actual duck-on-human penetration. But the implication is strong enough to disturb parents who brought—or sent—their kids to an innocent-sounding PG-rated movie about a humanoid duck, produced by the same dude who made Star Wars.

1. Showgirls (1995)

If you've ever seen a goldfish flip out of its bowl and on to the floor, then you've essentially already witnessed the infamous pool sex scene in Showgirls. In it, dancer Nomi (Elizabeth Berkley) impresses her boss Zack (Kyle MacLachlan) with her extreme flexibility, after he makes the first move under the waterfall, emerging like the Loch Ness Monster. Making the whole thing even more chuckle-inducing is the hideous pool decor, all neon palm trees and dolphin sculptures. If you were to inadvertently stumble upon these two in the act, you'd swear you were witnessing a deranged and/or distressed sea mammal.

20 more at the source
funniest scenes? hell the best sex scenes?
Tags: film, list, nudes / nsfw / nip slips

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