dman108 (dman108) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

Behind the Candelabra II: Electric Boogaloo "Ex: Calvin Klein's BF is the Worst Lover I Ever Had"

On Monday, we ran an interview with Nick Gruber, Calvin Klein’s ex-boy toy. He discussed his impending Fashion Week sashay down the runway and his plans to get his extreme sports business off the ground. Nick also served us some whoppers, like the fact that he’s straight, but believes in love; he never planned on writing a tell-all book about the designer; and despite his recent fights and tantrums, he’s “a great, loving, caring person.” Well, the phone just rang, and it happened to be John Luciano, the 49-year-old man whom Nick had told us he never dated. John had some lovely things to say about that—and everything else, too.

Michael Musto gets the latest deets on the story that just keeps going and going and going...

Hello, John.

Whatever crap Nick was smoking when he gave you that interview, I had to laugh. I had to set a couple things straight. We dated for nine months and we’re still friends. I was having lunch with him in Beverly Hills the day the article came out. Number two, despite his denying it in your interview, he was completely doing a book. I see humor in everything because he’s such an idiot.

And you’re friends with an idiot?

I’m friends with everyone. I’m not sure what he’s trying to do—modeling, whatever, that’s great. But why lie? You told everyone and their sister you were doing a book. And everyone knew we were dating. Page Six came out to my family’s house and did a whole spread on it. Can I tell you the riddle about Nick? He’s straight. He had a very fucked up, abusive childhood— horrific, practically worse than a cattle dog—and most women are not going to take care of him, so he turns to the company of gay men for support, paternal love, mentoring, and all those things. At the end of the day, if he can choose between sleeping with Zac Efron and Betty White, he’s going to choose Betty White, because that’s the way he is. When he went back with Calvin, Calvin should have just let him sleep with women, and he would have been fine. He’s gay for pay, and that’s what it is.

How did you meet Nick?

Once in a while, I’ll step in an AA meeting, and that’s where we met. Once a year I’ll get the urge to have an 8 ball and have a little fun. Then I’ll go to a meeting. He was there for a court-appointed thing.

When he dated you, was it gay for pay?

Are you smoking crack? Of course! No, I‘m so special! Of course it was. I’m not gonna fool myself. The only person you should never lie to is yourself.

That photo of you kissing while he’s holding bags…

I bought him Ralph Lauren and Barneys. And Calvin was very generous with him. The problem is Calvin is very possessive. Nick was in love with the lifestyle, the Bentley, and the private jet, and I understand that, but if Calvin had loosened the leash, they would have still been together.

But Nick says it was true love.

There are enough lies! Come on now! Yeah, it was true love. Calvin was in love with his body and Nick was in love with the wallet. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I date younger guys, and as long as it’s legal, it’s OK, but I don’t fool myself.

What is your profession?

I’m certainly not a Hollywood animator. I don’t know where that came from. I’m animated. I used to freelance for all the magazines for years. My family is in real estate.

And though you’re related to Lucky Luciano, I know you’re not mob-related.

I’m as far from any Mafia as you can get. You can’t help who you’re related to. I’m not ashamed of that, but I’m certainly not proud of that. I was born in ‘64, and he died in ‘62. Aside from having a cousin on Mob Wives, that’s about it. She’s the one who lived with Nick for a while. He said she tried to kill him with a screwdriver. He made that up to get her to leave.

Did he cheat on you?

It wasn’t that type of relationship. I fixed him up with girls. I didn’t care who he slept with. The kid’s straight, and I know that sounds crazy, but he’s straight. He’d choose any female over the hottest male.

I know, like Betty White. Does he have any idea what he’s doing when he’s in bed with a guy?

The worst lover I’ve ever had! I like Nick and am friends with him and still try to help him, and I’m the one who encouraged him to get back with Calvin, but our relationship was very open. Have you ever slept with a woman?

I tried.

I never have. It’s just not in me. I couldn’t imagine if I had to do that to survive, what that would be like. Someone like Nick, he has to sleep with the men to survive, and that has to do some sort of damage. Most of our relationship had nothing to do with sex. He provided constant hours of entertainment. You can only imagine.

What do you think of his proposed extreme sports business?

You’re gonna jump out of a plane with him??? You’d have to be nuts!!! Crazy!!!

*BONUS UPDATE courtesy of Queerty*
Nick Gruber, Calvin Klein’s ex-kept boy and a former gay porn actor — star is perhaps being too generous — attended Fire Island’s Ascension Party over the weekend where he felt the need to loudly proclaim his heterosexuality and act, in general, like a giant tool. That is when Michael Lucas, current gay porn auteur and activist, had the 22-year-old human dumpster removed from the premises.

Nick, being a good boy from a good family, or at least having a halfway decent publicist, sent an apology to Michael:

Dear Michael Lucas:

I am sorry that we had a misunderstanding this past weekend at Fire Island. I did not really understand how a big party like that worked, and when I was asked to leave your part of the party, I definitely overreacted. Please accept my apologies.

I came with my friends Hal Rubenstein and his partner David Nichol, who work on the charity arm of the party (Fund In The Sun), but I didn’t understand that people had paid for separate areas. Their fund has donated $750,000 to charities and is an important not-for-profit so I think it’s great that you supported them by buying a private area of your own. I hope I didn’t spoil anyone’s day. It was a fun and unique party and I was glad to be there.

I hope next time we meet we can have a coffee and I can apologize in person.

Nick Gruber

Way to go sneaking in that dollar amount, girlfriend. Color someone impressed. Not Michael Lucas, but someone. Michael, for his part, took Nick’s apology in stride, but informed the young man that he kind of missed the entire point of this Lucas Lesson:

Dear Nick—

Thank you for your apology. However, I fear that you have misunderstood why I was offended . The problem was not that you had mistakenly come to the wrong area of the party (and it doesn’t matter to me at all who you came with or how much they donated). Many people knew just as little as you did about how the party was set up, but somehow no one else got into a big argument about it.

The problem was that your behavior was boorish and loudly homophobic. Screaming that you are straight and that you don’t want gay men to touch you would be unacceptable in any social situation, much less a crowded gay party. If you are so defensively straight that you truly can’t bear the idea of gay people touching you, then maybe a crowded gay party might not be the best place for you. Please feel free to write “I am straight” on your forehead and stay home. No one will bother you there, and you won’t bother anyone back.

Michael Lucas

Well, Mike’s certainly got a point. A gay party, rather, THE gay party is no place to exercise one’s repressed homosexuality-cum-homophobia. That’s what church and football games are for. No word yet on what Gruber’s (read: his publicist’s) response to any of this will be, but let’s all just remember what matters most here. Nick Gruber is as straight as an arrow. You know, one of those gag arrows that you can wear as a hat that, much like Gruber’s sexuality, no one actually buys.


Everyone involved in this story...

Tags: fashion, lgbtq / rights, scandal

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