stussytribe (stussytribe) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

What Pop songs have the worst opening lines?

The first line of a song can be a glorious, life-affirming moment. But it can also go horribly wrong.

The first line of a song can be a glorious, life-affirming moment. But the bad ones can destroy your faith in an artist, your belief in their artistry plummeting as you wince in disbelief, wondering how someone you held in such high-regard could put pen to paper and think: 'Yes, this is exactly how I'd like to start my song'.

Popular music is riddled with dreadful intro lines; even the most eloquent lyricists falling victim to a botched phrase or poetic blunder. Here's five of the very worst:

Michael Jackson - Bad


Bad is one of the best songs ever written, but it's also guilty of containing possibly the worst opening line in music history. What was he thinking when he announced, apropos of nothing, that "Your butt is mine / gonna take you right"? Hold up MJ, we haven't even gotten to know each other yet.

Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer - Give Me Everything

Armando Cristian Pérez, better known as Pitbull, may top the charts but he's not the world's most eloquent wordsmith, surpassing expectations on Give Me Everything: "Me not working hard? / Yeah, right! Picture that with a Kodak / Or, better yet, go to Times Square / Take a picture of me with a Kodak." From a man who describes his semen as "egg whites" we should be thankful that not making sense is his biggest crime here.

Madonna - I Love New York

"Hey, what rhymes with New York?" you can imagine Madonna ask in the studio floor, her brain frazzled after a vigorous Ashtanga yoga session. "Cork?" someone suggests, thinking maybe she's after another city. "No, no, no." "Dork, then?" Yes! Of course, and thus the opening to I Love New York - "I don't like cities/ But I like New York / Other places / Make me feel like a dork" - was born.

2 more at the source
& where the hell is Katy's plastic bag line?

Tags: fergie / black eyed peas, madonna, michael jackson / jackson family

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