karis_azura (karis_azura) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

15 Movies Hollywood Needs to Hurry Up and Finish...

For every movie that makes it all the way from someone's brain to the big screen, dozens are doomed to spend eternity in Hollywood purgatory — because, quite frankly, getting a major motion picture made is a total bitch. Only a small fraction of screenplays ever catch the attention of a studio and get put into production, and as you'll see, even that is no guarantee they'll ever be finished. In the messy, ridiculously complicated and maddening process of getting movies made, sometimes even the best ideas slip through the cracks.

With that in mind, we've assembled a list of 15 potentially great movies that Hollywood has done some serious slacking on.

The Muppet Man

"The Muppet Man" is a half-fantasy, half-biopic exploration of the strange, beautiful mind of Jim Henson — and also the second of two Henson/puppet movies on this list, if you're keeping track. Unfortunately, crappy Hollywood bureaucracy has prevented the film from moving forward. Disney, who's busy working on their own wildly successful Muppet franchise, owns the rights to the Muppets but not the rights to "The Muppet Man." (The Muppet Man? The Muppet Man.) So, unless Disney gives The Henson Company the go-ahead, the movie will see Henson calling his puppet creations things like "Hermit" and "Ponzi Bear."

Chance you'll see it: 25%

Ghostbusters III

First and foremost, it should be noted that if Bill Murray isn't involved in this project, we really aren't interested. All due respect to Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd and Sigourney Weaver, but a Murray-less "Ghostbusters III" has all the appeal of a Jordan-less mid-'90s Chicago Bulls reunion. (Aykroyd would be Pippen and Ramis would be Phil Jackson? Toni Kukoc? We're still sorting this analogy out.) Aykroyd and Ramis could always take the "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" route and find a young actor to carry the torch of the series ... but for the love of all that's good and sacred, we hope they don't (or include inter-dimensional aliens, for that matter). Instead, they need to somehow get Bill Murray on board and make this thing awesome so we can all remember how fun the '80s were.

Chance you'll see it: 10% (with Murray), 75% (without Murray)

The Happytime Murders

So, imagine a puppet movie from The Jim Henson Company. So far so good, right? But instead of singing, joshing around and being adorable, the puppets are getting murdered, cursing, having sex, and generally embracing everything an R-rating allows. Still on board? Us, too. That's what the Henson Company had in mind when when they announced "The Happytime Murders," a neo-noir satire that takes places in a world where puppets and people co-exist. Katherine Heigl and Dwayne Johnson have been attached to star, and the studio has even leaked some brain-explodingly awesome concept art. But lately, word on the project has been mum.

Chance you'll see it: 70%


Just in case you've been living under a huge, non-Xbox-equipped rock for the last decade, "Halo" is a futuristic first-person shooter series that has sold millions upon millions of units ... and led to millions of hours that moms thought could've been better spent playing outside or studying. It's also an ill-fated film project that's been attached to Steven Spielberg, Guillermo del Toro, and "District 9" mastermind Neill Blomkamp over the years. Blomkamp declared the project dead in 2007 but recanted in April, saying that a "Halo" movie was still a possibility. Video game adaptations are usually a red flag that screams "save your $10-$20 for a dinner at Applebee's instead," but considering the level of talent that's surrounded the film and the richness of the "Halo" universe, it's hard to believe a "Halo" movie wouldn't be worth watching.

Chance you'll see it: 45%

The Tourist

A far cry from the forgettable Johnny Depp/Angelina Jolie movie of the same name, "The Tourist" is a famously beautiful script about a group of exiled aliens living human lives in Manhattan — think a darker, art-house "Men in Black." Having spent 32 years (!) in development hell, it's also a disheartening cautionary tale whispered campfire-side to spook would-be Hollywood screenwriters. To give you a sense of just how frustrating getting a movie made can be, "The Tourist" writer Clair Noto believes Warner Bros. held onto the rights to the script for eight years simply so no one else would make it into a successful picture — the Hollywood equivalent of taking your frenemy's crush to the prom out of spite.

Chance you'll see it: 15%

Full list at the Source..

ONTD, what films would you like to see finally made? I would love to see these darker sides of Jim Henson's work and speaking of which, can we get a sequel to The Dark Crystal !??
Tags: film, list

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