Amanda Bynes’s Most Offensive Tweet Yet Is a Simple Grammatical Mixup!
by Amanda Bynes.
1 p.m.: Oh my God, let me just be the first to say: I can completely see how offense was taken. I truly apologize for the miscommunication and any and all resulting discomfort or anger. I’m not a wretched person with zero sense of perspective or respect for fellow human beings; rather, the actual explanation of my statement is something far more banal. No, Arendtites, not “banal” as in “the banality of evil”—banal as in, this was a very stupid grammatical error. You’ll see the offending tweet below.
What I intended to say was “not having hair makes me feel like a cancer: patient.” That is, waiting for my hair to grow has made me a more patient person—a trait, in the astrological community, typically associated with those born under the Cancer sign. I’m actually an Aries (traditional traits: determinedness, ambitiousness, impulsiveness, and, I can now say, inexcusably poor grasp of punctuation.)
1:15 p.m.: Not having your forgiveness makes me feel like I should have Aids.
1:16 p.m.: Christ, I’ve done it again. I meant: not having your forgiveness makes me feel like I should have aides, lower-case and with an “e.” Aides because I’m clearly in something of a public-relations quagmire. Please accept my second apology.
Lmao what kind of fuckery?