the dreamer v2.0 (calinewarkwc69) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
the dreamer v2.0

An ONTD Original: Is it written in the stars for these celeb couples?

An astrological interpretation of what is going wrong and what is going right for two of our most talked about couples, by yours truly. (tl;dr warming)


To try and make this an easy, understandable read for everyone, I broke down each analysis as a Q&A and explain as I go! I tried to keep it short and sweet, and not get too much into the individual’s singular qualities, but rather, compare the two against each other for an overview of how their relationship dynamic works. I talk about a lot of stuff that we observe anyways, and sort of explain the astrology behind it. This is just super basiqqque, I didn’t even try to confuse you all with synastry or involve all the planets or houses or anything.


Kim Kardashian & Kanye West

Kim                                    Kanye
Sun: Libra                          Sun: Gemini

Moon: Pisces                      Moon: Pisces

Rising: Sag                   Rising: Cancer

Merc: Scorpio                        Merc: Taurus

Venus: Virgo                               Venus: Taurus
Mars: Sag                                    Mars: Taurus

Was it love at first sight? Well, if “rumors” are true, these two found themselves between the sheets long before “Kimye” became front page news, but, I highly doubt that any love was involved. For starters, they both have their Sun in air signs- these are signs who must first be intellectually captivated by you on a mental level before they can feel any love. I would however give it something at first sight. Both Kim and Kanye have a Pisces moon, so they probably have a good non-verbal connection, and always feel like they can anticipate how the other will react or feel since Pisces is the most intuitive and emotionally empathetic sign and has a natural affinity with the moon, which rules over instinctive emotional reactions. It’s not surprising however that Kanye came forward first with his feelings since his Taurus placements all signify a direct, balls to wall approach, and his Cancer rising and Pisces moon favor romance and Gemini loves a big, attention seeking, to-do about things. Once he made a big display, Kim ate it up and here we are.

How does it work? It might actually work better than we all think. They have a lot of good aspects going on for them. As I mentioned above, they’re both Sun-in-air signs, and staying within your element usually makes for the best pairings; they’re both sociable, Kanye is witty and Kim is charming, they’re affectionate, and they’re both about vanity. Kanye has Mercury, Venus, and Mars in horndog Taurus (excuse me, hornBULL Taurus) which works well with Kim’s Libra Sun, as both Libra and Taurus are ruled by Venus- the same planet that rules over how we like to look, our surroundings and possessions, and just like the Goddess Venus, embodies beauty and elegance. Clearly, the look is a big part of it to them, and it will show in their home life, with both of them wanting to be surrounded by luxury and prestige; Kim, because she thinks having beautiful things and good taste will make people more inclined to liking her, and Kanye, because his Taurus placements (Taurus rules over money and possessions) will want to have a lot of stuff to show off to prove all they have earned. Beneath the superficiality though, they both are basically co-dependent. Along with the co-dependent Moon-in-Pisces placement, which makes them connect best with someone in a one-on-one setting, and for Kim, Libra is the sign that rules over one-on-one relationships and they love to be loved and lean towards being complete people pleasers; Kanye’s Taurus aspects will love that, as Taurus, the sign that rules over possessions, will also have strong tendencies towards treating his woman as his possession as well and will thrive better with someone than without, but, not for nothing- between the trifecta of Taurus, and his Cancer rising, which makes him even more of a devoted spouse and committed to home and family- he will want complete and total devotion back in return. Cancer-rising people want to feel complete emotional security from the person they’re with as they normally find it hard to let anyone in (but once you’re in, you’re IN. Cancer-risings also have notorious blind spots for the people they love). Kim’s Venus-in-Virgo can complement this nicely, as Venusian Virgo’s do tend to fuss over their lovers, and since Kanye’s Venus is also in an Earth sign, it gives them both a dedication to making the partnership work, even though Kim is more likely to make concessions than Kanye. Their shared Pisces moon also gives both of hopeless romantic quality- always ready to sweep and be swept off their feet; always remembering an anniversary and birthday. So, there you have it, with their shared Moon-in-Pisces, their sun-in-air, and their strong Earth sign combo’s, they actually stand a chance at making it work.

Good communication? While I wouldn’t assume their communication is horrible, there is (always) room for improvement. For starters, we all know that Kanye is a great communicator just from his music. Aside from Moon-in-Pisces, all his other aspects point to a straightforward communicator who wants to know where everyone stands. Although, as a Gemini, it wouldn’t surprise me if on occasion, he changed his mind about something and didn’t feel it was necessary to tell anyone. This is not the case for Kim, whose Scorpio-in-Mercury placement is going to give her a predisposition to not just keeping secrets, but also having a fixation on digging them up. This placement is really brings out the investigator in Scorpio, giving Kim a keen sense of observation and motivation to get the truth out if she senses something is awry. We really find where they hit their stride when we take Kim’s Sagittarius rising and Mars-in-Sag into consideration. Sagittarius, the always optimistic philosopher, gives Kim her grandiose presence, fills her with bigger than life ideas, and a willingness towards exploration and experimentation. Sagittarius, after all, is always trying to expand their mind and find the true meaning in things which Kanye’s Sun-in-Gemini loves, since Gemini is the zodiac’s very own Peanut Gallery and keeper of frivolous knowledge. They could probably stay up all night philosophizing about life, love, big ideas, and bigger dreams; which is where the dreamy moon-in-Pisces feels at home- daydreaming and living outside of reality. Once it gets down to real business though, their communication is likely to fall apart and suffer. Most of the time, Kim will go with the flow, but, she still has her wild card of Mars-in-Sagittarius as well so when it comes to an argument, and the fiery archer comes out, she is likely to start finding the holes in what she’s being told, and can even take an obnoxious moralistic high ground and will be frustrated when she can’t talk someone on to her side... same as Kanye will be frustrated by someone who tries to change his mind.

Hot sex life? Hit and miss to be perfectly honest. With the exception of his Sun-in-Gemini, Kanye’s planet placements all point to him being a rather “no frills” lover. He is more interested in having sex with someone he loves, but Taurus in Venus/Mars also indicates someone who does not do well abstaining since the Bull loves sex- too bad that they’re perfectly comfortable getting it in a routine way and in a relationship will expect it from his partner with little to no work. This simply will not work for Kim, whose Libra/Pisces combo wants to be wooed, and with Mars (planet of sexual desire) in Sagittarius, she also wants some adventure and games in her sex life- she’ll be straightforward about what she wants (which Kanye will appreciate)- which is probably a lighthearted, fun romp where you can laugh together, any maybe wrestle or rough house a little. However, her Venus in Virgo is content on most occasions to comply with standard sex but on those special days when the mood is right and the stars have aligned, Kanye’s fun, lighthearted, and flirtatious Gemini sun, backed by horny Taurus, will be enthralled by Kim’s lively, yet sensual seduction.

What ends/ended it? There’s a few things that can lead this to tumble. First of all, remember how I said Miss Libra Kim loves to be loved? The downside, is that Libra, while wanting to be love, can sometimes find it too demanding to give it back and will get lazy on love. Well, remember Kanye who wanted complete devotion from a person for giving it to them? He’s not going to be happy when he starts to be slighted by Kim, and then he will start to build up the wall between them- and while he is still a Gemini, and they can forgive and forget quickly- the more it happens, the less he wants to take the wall down. This leads to #2- as he puts up a wall, Kim’s Mercury in Scorpio is going to begin kicking into overdrive. The more he pulls away, the more she will want to know why, will begin to ask questions, will begin to settle into her paranoia, will begin to wonder what he is doing that he isn’t telling her about... She really has a lot working against her in this scenario because as a Libra, she also cannot stand the thought that he is mad at her and doesn’t want to talk about it, which will only feed her insecurities more. To add even more misery, their shared moon-in-Pisces will begin to work against them- while it does provide a great unspoken connection between them, Pisces IS still the sign of self-undoing and will allow their worst traits to fester and take over at times, and also have a propensity for letting more dominant individuals make their decisions for them (*cough*krispimpcanejenner*cough*)- this is probably more the case for Kim than Kanye- since Kanye has so much influence from bullheaded Taurus, he will definitely stick to his guns but Kim’s wishy-washy decision making and nonchalant attitude about other peoples involvement in her life will slowly start to chip away at Kanye, who ultimately wants someone who will submit to him, but stand up for themselves.


Selena Gomez & The Beebz (Not the King of Pop, FYI)
(I know they’re broken up or whatever, but I was looking for variety in signs so....)

Selena                         Beebz

Sun: Cancer                  Sun: Pisces

Moon: Aries                   Moon: Libra

Rising: Leo                    Rising: Scorpio

Merc: Leo                      Merc: Aquarius

Venus: Leo                   Venus: Pisces

Mars: Taurus                 Mars: Aquarius

Was it love at first sight? I absolutely think so. At least for one of them, which I would assume is Justin. His moon in Libra has a strong need for partnership, and feel the most secure and safe when they have someone around (even just to go to the grocery store) and a lot of people with this placement get into serious relationships when they’re young. When you mix that with his Sun in romantic Pisces and his commanding presence, given off by his Scorpio rising, poor Selena may not have stood a chance. Her sun in Cancer was attracted to the Pisces/Scorpio combo, since they’re all water signs, and even though Cancer’s keep themselves closed off at first as a self-preservation technique, she was ultimately won over by the way she felt he could “see through her.” A Pisces/Scorpio sun/rising gives Justin the intuition and compassion for others that Pisces are notorious for, while also having some of that smoldering magnetism and that makes people so drawn to Scorpio risings (actually, Scorpio risings tend to either be completely loved or absolutely hated). Selena’s Venus and Rising in Leo makes her very susceptible to flattery- Venus in Leo particularly needs to feel special and thrives on attention from the opposite sex (and why wouldn’t they get it? They are fabulous you know). However, because of her Sun in Cancer, it waters down that air of regalness and she’s likely to put her more sensitive and understanding side out there, which Justin loves. With his Venus (planet of love) also in romantic and dreamy Pisces, he’s likely to act on a whim, feeling his way through the early stages of a romance and tossing out small romantic gestures, like reading poetry or writing songs to win over his lady love. And once he poured it out for Selena, she couldn’t help but be impressed and willing to give him a shot.

How does/did it work? At first, it was probably like a dream come true for these two- Selena couldn’t get enough of Justin praising her, adoring her, feeding her ego- AND YES, her Leo placements do make her pay a lot of attention to her appearance, and having Justin, who is admired by so many, probably just fed into her dream image and her ego. Justin, on the other hand, was attracted to the fact that she can be sensitive and confident, classy and fun, and also, that she falls on the side of optimistic. With his sun and Venus in Pisces, the sign of self-undoing, he is rather prone to martyrdom, finding a way to glamorize suffering, which gets mixed in with his Scorpio risings tendency to be a “professional victim” so having a woman who is upbeat and full of fire (due to Aries and Leo placements), but still able to connect on an emotional level (Cancer) really helped him not fall into the darkness and kept his own spirits high. On top of that, Justin’s Scorpio rising, which really wants someone who is down to Earth and fully committed loves that Selena is loyal. Cancer, Aries, Leo, and Taurus (her Mars placement) are all true blue’s. Sure, Cancer’s are moody and lunar Arians are temperamental, but Cancers relationships are very important to them and even with Selenas spontaneous and “leap before you look” Moon in Aries, the sun in Cancer is probably not going to let her cheat. Furthermore, all those Leo placements that can give her a sort of snobbishness and Venus in Leo which will definitely put demands on a lover, they’re still going to be loyal as long as they feel loved.

Good communication? Not really. They probably communicate the best when they’re in the throws of drama- Selena particularly, having such a strong influence from fire signs, is ready to throw down immediately. With her Moon-in-Aries, it makes her emotions react quickly, with urgency, and want to talk about problems and get them out of the way so they can run to their next emotional emergency. Mercury (planet of communication) in Leo gives her even more of a predisposition towards egotism, being attached to her opinions, and a flair for drama. While Selena is a Cancer, whom are typically non-confrontational and more passive aggressive, they’re also moody and like a crab want to side step around everything. Combine that with her above mentioned aspects and you have someone, who at first, will probably try to persuade an argument in their direction, and when that doesn’t work, or she feels she isn’t being taken seriously or respected, then it’s ON. Tempers flair, drama is ignited, and now the ball is in Justin’s court. He has Mercury and Mars in Aquarius; because Aquarius is a detached and intellectual sign, in Mercury, it gives natives a quiet way of stirring people up, often using a intellectual superiority complex to try and intimidate people into agreeing with them, which alternately, Selena is also trying to do with her Mercury in Leo- but not by using any superiority complexes but by trying more by asserting intentions of good will (like I said... at first). Selena isn’t feeling this “superiority complex” because she wants to be King of the jungle (and queen to be honest...) and Justin is okay with that until his Mars in Aquarius starts to feel stifled. Most of the time, he is very open to letting others be who they are, but with “Rebel without a cause” Aquarius being occupied by Mercury and Mars, takes personal insult to trying to be controlled and will begin to rebel. Mix rebellion with the vindictive and sharp-tongued Scorpio- and you have a volatile combination for an emotionally intense (we are dealing with all three water signs after all) eruption of fuckery- with neither party willing to budge on their position thanks to both of their Mars in fixed signs and both of them feeling slighted by the other, but at the same time, probably screaming declarations of love and expecting the other person to believe love is enough. They walk away, but with some distance, they both easily calm down. Selena is more likely to not reach out, but Justin, with his Pisces sun, will come back bigger and better than before- more trusting, more compassionate, more willing to make it work, and he knows he can win her over with flattery, and he knows he can read her but she probably doesn’t have as easy of a time reading him- part of this is thanks to Mars in Aquarius, who never reacts the same way twice, preferring to surprise people by keeping it unclear as to what makes them tick. Regardless, he knows what it takes to suck her back in, but they continue to run into the same problems; just because the effort is there, doesn’t mean that anyone is actually changing, and they both probably expect the other person to change instead. When the relationship isn’t good, Justin will be the one to make concessions; but when the relationship is good, Selena will be the one to make concessions.

Hot sex life? They might think so, because they’re young and beautiful and have so many surreal things happen to them- but really, it fizzles out. Selena’s Mars in Taurus and that makes for a very sensual lover (this position of Mars is said to be the most “physical” lovers), wanting all her senses aroused, but having Leo in Venus, also gives her the tendency to hiding any inexperience she has, and also towards trying to show off for a lover. Leo is the sign that rules over sex (Not Scorpio, that’s a big misconception in astrology) and tend to make it more fun and games... Not that it really matters, because unlike Selena, sex is probably not that important in a relationship and probably doesn’t have a lot of consistency in his sexual endeavors. Mars in Aquarius is part of this, who like the idea of sex more than the actual act, and even have a certain detachment about them which can make it hard to find a connection with them during love making. Venus in Pisces doesn’t necessarily help this, as sometimes, it makes him very emotionally present, and other times, he could be lost in his own head and not really putting forth the effort for intimacy.

What ended it? Aside from the communication problems I already talked about, there is a huge combination of things. First of all, Justin is not a “planner,” he is more prone to feeling his way through life over thinking his way through life as is common for his Pisces placements. Meanwhile, Selena is here to get shit done. Moon in Aries and Mars in Taurus give her strong determination; with Aries wanting instant satisfaction and Taurus being okay with taking the slow and steady path, which creates some conflict for her I’m sure- always struggling with how quickly she is achieving success and may begin to get too many insecurities about why Justin, who is flying by the tail of his emotions, has more going for him, than her, who has taken the more tried and true conservative approach. Ultimately, she is more likely to success in the end, with her Leo placements making for a natural showman (showwoman, excuse me) and entertainer, and with Mars in Taurus being ready to work hard and put in the time, and has uncanny staying power. Another big challenge is that Justin is an escapist- when reality gets too hard, Pisces placements will make him prone to self-delusion, escapism, and self-pity. Selena is more of a go-getter and despite her compassionate Cancer sun, his whole refusal of responsibility really gets under her skin and probably leads to discontent. Moreover, Selena is really dispositioned to fits, tantrums, and will be demanding- As I stated above, because of Justin’s Mars in Aquarius, he can get a real “take it or leave it” attitude as well as a strong sense of rebellion, so while he will try, at first, to appease her, ultimately, her being “high maintenance” will really wear on him and make him act out against their relationship. That’s probably more where the cheating rumors start to come in- because, remember, he does know how to push her buttons, and the number one button you can push on her is that, which ironically, is also his number one button to push, which Selena figures out later instead of sooner, and more with a “I can play his game against him” attitude than really to hurt him. They might even run across problems with Selena “bragging” about how many men hit on her, not to be spiteful, but as a tactic to show Justin that she is a hot prize and he should be grateful to have her- Justin will not see it this way and is likely to let his jealousy get the best of him. Ultimately, they may try to “be friends” but should soon realize they handle problems in their life too differently to have a high profile relationship.

And that concludes the longest post ever.... if you made it through, know that I truly love you.

Long OP note: I was inspired to do this after having so many of you came to me with an interest in your own astrology, and thought this might be a fun, cheesy, and campy way to continue doing what we do best, which is talk shit and speculate on shit that we really have no clue about. I am not trying to claim that ANY of this is factual and I’m not asking anyone who enters to believe in astrology, but I will ask that you be willing to learn and accept! I know there are haters so I’m asking nicely that you don’t eat me alive, troll on me, general assholism, because I did work very hard to make this easy to understand and something for people to have fun with (which was not easy), and if that’s not enough- my birthday is on Sunday, and I’m not having the best week - so you know… don’t shit on my work and karma won’t shit on your life (and no, I don’t need “you must be new here” gifs). You know, believe it or not, you have a lot more going on for yourself than just your sun sign!

Short OP Note: Also, I only did a few because once I got going, they ended up being really long, but I have more couples and some other ideas lined up if this doesn’t flop & suggestions are welcome! Also, if there’s any other astrology enthusiasts/hobbyists such as myself who would like to weigh in, I welcome it with open arms!

Note to Mod: I PM’d Brenden about this and was told it was “a great idea.”  Also, don't ask me what's going on with my formatting, I have no idea, this is only my second post ever.

Source for celeb birth charts:
Internet Sources for astrology: (I wasn't super impressed here, but it's good enough) (the best monthly horoscopes ever by Susan Miller)

And these books:
"The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need" by Joanna Martine Woolfolk
"Astrology: A comprehensive guide to classical interpretation" by Kevin Burk
"Sign Mates: Understanding the games people play" by Bernie Ashman
"Do It Yourself Relationship Astrology" by Lyn Birrkbeck

Tags: astrology, ontd original
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