BB (bostongirl2003) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
BB
bostongirl2003
ohnotheydidnt

Ian Bohen (Teen Wolf's Uncle Peter) tweets something stupid, then defends the wrong point

In response to reading about a 16 year old girl being gang raped, he tweeted

“Hey Parents. Teach your boys how to treat women properly, and your girls how to be ladies. The shit I’m reading in the news makes me sick.”

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And then did not understand why this was a stupid thing to say, and took to Tumblr to continue to not understand why adding that line about teaching girls "how to be ladies" in a tweet about rape was going to piss people off.

Here is his epiphany, where he rambles about shit that has nothing to do with why he implied not "lady" like women somehow bring about their own rapes, idk. :

After taking quite a bit of heat for the tweet below, I’ve decided to formulate my response here, for those who care to take the time to read it outside of 160 characters.

This morning I read the details of the horrific gang rape of a 16 year old girl in Northern California, and was moved to post the following.

“Hey Parents. Teach your boys how to treat women properly, and your girls how to be ladies. The shit I’m reading in the news makes me sick.”



Of all the criticism that followed, being accused of slut-shaming is by far the most egregious. Honestly? I, the shamer of sluts? Oh contraire…


Of course having been motivated by the reprehensible, criminal behavior of the male assailants in the piece, I wrote the initial section of the tweet, but then thought it best to include something female related so as not to be labeled sexist (what?). And thus, my troubles began as the outcry from heretofore adoring fans came in broad waves, keyboards blazing, and directed squarely at me, for my use of one single word. Lady. (OP: Yeah, I don't think that's why they got mad)

But why the outrage? Why the hoopla? A lady is a magical thing! A rare and precious sighting! I should think all girls would want to be as such. Unless, of course, there’s something negative attached to the term.

So I began by googling “lady,” and here’s what I came up with…

From Wikipedia:

The word lady is a civil term of respect for a woman, specifically the female equivalent to gentleman or lord, and in many contexts a term for any adult woman.



How about that! Term of respect for the female equivalent of a gentleman. And what characteristics does the term gentleman conjure up?

Someone with manners. Someone who is polite. Someone who demonstrates good character and judgment, especially when it comes to the treatment of, what else, Ladies… So that doesn’t sound too bad, does it? If a lady is defined as the female equivalent of all of those ostensibly good characteristics, why the long face? I’ve never heard a male balk at being called a gentleman! Never once.

As I re-read the responses to my tweet, I began to understand that girls, don’t like the idea that lady represents, and that the offence begins at the notion that girls, or females in general, ought to act lady-like. Ah ha. The culprit! Not just three words that, in our contemporary, liberal, equal-minded, no-loser, no winner society, raise the hackles on women and gender defenders the country over; but what they perceive the idea is; and furthermore, how they believe society is telling them they have to be.

I don’t have to act like anything! I should be empowered to be me! I wont support the outdated civil conventions of an outdated civilization. We’re equal and I’ll be damned if I’m going to act like a lady. I seem to hear them screaming…

But I ask you, where and how did the majesty of the Lady, become so soiled to the point, where young girls across the nation want nothing to do with the notion whatsoever? And more importantly, how do we rectify this travesty? And even more importantly, do women even what to rectify it? Because it’s truly up to them.

Understanding the differences between men and women, and ladies and gentleman isn’t sexist. It’s merely… understanding the differences. The sexes are separate. They are equal in ability(for the most part), but they’re definitely not the same. If you’ve ever rounded second base on your way to third, you know what I’m talking about. So what’s the big deal with being different? The fundamental nature of women is female, and the fundamental nature of man, male. We don’t have to be the same.

Being a Lady or a Gentleman is about embracing the very best of your self as you are and those characteristics are ubiquitous. They are thoroughly human characteristics and transcend specific societies and cultures. They are more noble than the mere civility we expect from one another on a daily basis. They are universal in their aim to demonstrate kindness, selflessness, consideration, and always to present one’s self with grace and poise.

The negativity with which the connotation of lady is received with these days is a result of convention which is a bit behind the times.

A lady is proper, she’s minds what she says, she listens to men, she holds her tongue, she never gets her hands dirty, and she most certainly, guards her virtue above all other things!

Of course all this is aged crap that, for the most part, has gone by the wayside opening up the door for women to live and behave how they please without the conventional insult of not being lady like. And hooray for progress.

However, I would suggest that we tossed the baby out with the bathwater. For along with shedding the dubious garments of mid-century era culture, we have also lost the noble idea of what a lady is, and I submit that every female should aspire to be one, whether they chose to act like one or not.

Can a lady have tattoos all over? Curse like a sailor? Have sex with more than one person? In my opinion, of course she can. Because those criteria are terrestrial, pedantic, antiquated ways of viewing and quantifying the worth of a woman, and or the respect that she may or may not deserve. As deemed by others…

So what is a lady?

She is confident.

She has well thought-out beliefs, and defends them.

She embraces with all her strength, her own self respect, and in doing so, garners respect from others.

She has an unwavering belief in her own value.

She treats people kindly, and nurtures love in her heart.

She does not look down on the inner feminine beauty that she possess as part of her very nature.

She aspires to all this and more, without the need to sacrifice any opportunity that anyone else receives, just because she has a vagina.

When I meet a female who heralds these ideas, in speech and action, both for herself, and for others, I call her… a lady.

Chivalry is not dead. It is alive and well, taking on many forms, with many combinations of players, but we must address our desperate lack of Ladies and Gentleman in the world, in order to play it out.

Source is his tumblr: http://therealianbohen.tumblr.com/post/52270957842/after-taking-quite-a-bit-of-heat-for-the-tweet#notes

has cut AND it works now, sorry and thank you!
Tags: celebrity social media, teen wolf (mtv)
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