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Fictional Moms Who Frighten Us And Ones We Love


Mothers' Day is right around the corner, a day about finally remembering to return your mom's phone calls and crafting bad macaroni art that expresses your appreciation for her. It's also a day to remember those other women that helped mold you into the dazzling creature you have become. No, I'm not talking about your first grade teacher or your great grandmother (although I'm sure they're really spectacular women); I'm talking about those fictional moms that made an impact through television or movies, the ones that you sometimes wished were your mom and the ones that made you thankful for your own. Here are the most frightening and most beloved fictional mothers in the history of forever.


Joan Crawford: Mommie Dearest


Joan Crawford isn't technically a fictional character, but there is some dispute over how accurate her daughter's depiction of her is so I say it counts (also, why would we forgo any opportunity to talk about Joan Crawford?). So we all know that Joan is not a huge fan of wire hangers(who is really?), but that's the least of it. Crawford also ties her son to his bed, says "I'd rather you go bald to school than looking like a tramp!" while cutting off her daughter's hair, says "YOU LOVE TO MAKE ME HIT YOU!" while slapping her daughter in front of a reporter, forces her daughter to stay at the dinner table overnight until she finishes her undercooked steak, and then leaves them both out of her will. Way harsh, Tai.

Margaret White: Carrie


Some teens lock themselves in their rooms and write bad poetry about how absolutely horrible their mother is for grounding them or taking away phone privileges or whatever. These whiners obviously haven't seen Carrie yet, a movie that makes most mothers look as gentle as Dumbo's mom. Margaret White has a lot of opinions on what is suitable behavior for her daughter, Carrie. Let's go over some of them: she should never wear red (that's for hell-bound whores), she should only refer to her breasts as "dirty pillows," she should think of pimples as "the Lord's way of chastising you," she should pray and ask forgiveness for her sinful period, she should be cool with getting tea thrown in her face, and she should heed the mantra: "They're all going to laugh at you!" It's enough to make anyone become a pyromaniac murderer!

Mary Jones: Precious


While there's a degree of campy comedy to Joan Crawford and Margaret White, there's nothing funny about Mary Jones (except maybe this genius creation). Not only does she facilitate her daughter's sexual abuse, Mary also mentally abuses her and tries to drop a television on her head. The only capable person to negotiate a train wreck like that is a social worker played by Mariah Carey.

Betty Draper: Mad Men


Remember that time when you were a real brat during your puberty era? Well, Betty Draper seems to have gotten stuck there. She's petulant, self-involved, and never satisfied, all characteristics that keep her from being a good mother. Like when Sally showed up wearing a plastic dry cleaning bag over her headand Betty warned that the clothes better not be in a pile somewhere. Or when she told Bobby to go bang his head against a wall after he said he was bored. Or when she dragged Sally into a closet and locked her inside ("You're hurting me!" "Good!"). You get the picture.

Beloved and In Between Moms at the Source!
Tags: holiday, list

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