Making Shailene Woodley Hot Enough To Play MJ In TASM 2

See? The fictional, ink and pencil MJ is SMOKIN, while the actual human being just doesn't match up! WTF?? I mean don't get me wrong, the chick can look pretty do-able when she's all done up for a magazine shoot or whatever, but walking around like that in the real world? Just isn't gonna cut it sweetheart. People don't seem to understand: MJ is supposed to be unattainable, the nerd's wet dream, a girl Peter Parker would never even dream would look twice at him. And Woodley? Sorry, but I reckon any one of us would have a shot at that in a bar after a few too many Tequilas...Amarite? So I've decided to help Marc Webb and Sony out a little here. Woodley is cast, filming has commenced, not a lot they can do about that - but for future scenes? If they follow my tips the situation might just be salvageable. We'll start with the most important thing:

TITS: Look at the pic - comic MJ has lovely big disproportionate ones, Woodley doesn't. Now obviously surgery would be the best route, but that's highly unlikely so I recommend padding. It's very simple, just stick a stuffed Wonderbra on the chick, and any scenes requiring actual semi or full (hey, we can hope!) nudity can utilize CGI! It's a magical age for cinema folks.

FACE: Woodley is cute, MJ is hot - big difference. Why is it so hard for them to cast these roles properly? Just match up an actress to the picture in the comic! We were denied our raging hard-on with Kirsten "Snaggletooth" Dunst, and now it seems we are destined to leave the theater with clean pants once again. But like I said, damage is done, so let's focus on the positives. Woodley looks nice enough with a bit of slap on so just keep her that way. Don't let her walk around all normal looking between takes where she can be photographed, and fans can see the pics plastered all over the net, giving them a [frick]ing aneurysm! Have her look her absolute best at all times and maybe we'll go see your movie.

HAIR: Think dying your actress' hair red is enough? Not for us comic purists. Look at Woodley, then look at the comic version of MJ. Notice the difference? That's right, the drawing's hair is...bigger!

ASS: Honestly, Woodley is doing alright in this area. Sure she could use a bit more junk in the trunk, and hot-model-porn-lookalikes DO tend to have longer legs, but what the Hell! We'll let that one slide - who says fanboys can't be reasonable?

ACTING ABILITY We're not idiots, we know this is also important! It's just not the MOST important thing. I mean, acting can be taught, but you can't teach an actor how to look like the comic character they're playing, now can you? But, by all accounts (I haven't seen her in anything, but whatever) Woodley is a good actress so once they sort out her looks, everything should be okay.

That should just about cover it. Apply these changes Mr Webb and MAYBE you won't have an enormous flop on your hands. Yours sincerely, the REAL comic book fans.

Then CinemaBlend responded

If You Think Shailene Woodley Isn't Pretty Enough For The Amazing Spider-Man 2, You Don't Deserve The Movie

The world of comics is vast and broad and welcoming to just about everyone, no matter how much the stereotype of The Simpsons "Comic Book Guy" clings to it. But every now and then Comic Book Guy and his nastier counterparts pop up, especially on the Internet, and especially on sites like this one where every single tidbit of information about an upcoming superhero movie is dissected as if it contains the code to the universe.

Yesterday we posted the first on-set images of Shailene Woodley as Mary Jane in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, currently in production in New York. Because they were pictures of an actress walking from place to place on the set, not in costume, the notable difference was seeing her hair tinted to Mary Jane's signature red. Honestly, the photos weren't that interesting. Until the comments started.

"Omg she looks horrible I hope they can do something with that face of hers." "Mary Jane is supposed to be hot." "Looks horrible as a redhead." The comments on our site weren't actually as bad as they were elsewhere on the Internet, and not half as bad as the so-called satire posted at Comic Book Movie, with instructions on how to make Woodley hot enough to play "every nerd's wet dream." The "satire" was so close to the real thing that most of their commenters didn't get the difference, and reading it makes your skin crawl because you just know that's exactly how a strong handful of fanboys feel, no irony intended.

You know why she doesn't look like the character from the comics, with an exaggerated waist and enormous breasts? Because she's a fucking human being, with a bone structure and muscles and fat and all the things that allow her to move about in the world, not just to sit down and pose like a sex fantasy.
The Amazing Spider-Man made a concerted effort toward making Peter Parker's world realer, making the flirtation between him and Gwen Stacy feel more authentic and even the costumes more realistic. Shailene Woodley, who showed amazing naturalism in The Descendants as well as her acclaimed Sundance film The Spectacular Now, ought to fit into that perfectly. To criticize her natural looks is to miss the entire aesthetic of the franchise as Marc Webb has re-imagined it.

I'm tempted to respond to all of this by posting more photos of Woodley looking stunning on the red carpet, or my account of meeting her in person to talk about The Descendants and finding her not only gorgeous but engaging and interesting. But fuck that-- if you are writing off an actress in a superhero movie based on one shot of her on set, you don't deserve the movie. It's not Shailene Woodley's looks that will make her role in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 good; it is her talent. She's proven she's got plenty of it. Everything else is just noise from fans who idiotically expect their ink and paper "wet dream" to take human form.


and Inderwire....

Back at Cinema Blend, Katey Rich puts the whole Shailene Woodley-isn't-pretty thing into sharp focus -- but to me, how Woodley looks is almost irrelevant. She could have four eyeballs and three ears and a third arm growing out of her back -- that still wouldn't make it okay for anyone to hurl vicious insults at her because she doesn't perfectly resemble the unattainable dream girl they know from the comic books.