An excuse for a book post: Diagnosing Your Romantic Issues Based on Your Favorite Literary Couple

Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre

You think of yourself as an easygoing, accepting person. But there is such thing as too accepting. Here’s your mantra: if he looks like a creep, acts like a creep, and locks his wife in the attic, he’s a creep.

Catherine and Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights

As Charlotte once chided, you may suffer from “perverted passion and passionate perversity.” That’s probably why you guys fight so much.

Romeo and Juliet, Romeo & Juliet

You’re fine. You just need to survive your teenage years — we promise you’ll gain some valuable perspective in college.

Humbert Humbert and Lolita, Lolita

If this is your favorite literary couple, we think you know what your romantic issues are.

Jake and Brett, The Sun Also Rises

What are you doing reading this? You should probably just see a doctor.

Charles and Camilla, The Secret History

Your problem? No romantic partner will ever live up to your twin sister — a pretty transparent form of crippling narcissism if we’ve ever seen it.

Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice

Aside from all that pride and prejudice, you might be of the opinion that you can talk your way out of (or into) anything. Don’t try to tell us that those gymnastic lips don’t get you in trouble more often than not.

Tom and Daisy, The Great Gatsby

At least one of you is too rich, too blonde, and too skinny.

Nick and Amy, Gone Girl

You’re unbearably bored, and have a bit of a mean streak. Just don’t go for someone meaner, or more bored.

Edward and Bella, the Twilight saga

You don’t know where to draw the line between love and unhealthy obsession — even at your own peril. Also, you should probably reevaluate your expectations re: gender roles. It’s 2013.

Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara, Gone With the Wind

Your timing sucks.

Celia and Marco, The Night Circus

You won’t be happy until you meet someone who can compete on your level — and those are few and far between. Keep trying.