wendythestoryteller (_scarlett_icons) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
wendythestoryteller
_scarlett_icons
ohnotheydidnt

What Your Favourite Disney Princess Says About You






BELLE

You love reading. You are a girl who reads. You likely post on your Tumblr about all the books you love, and all the tea you drink, and all the cats you identify with emotionally. No matter how full the town jock’s chest hair is — or how much he wants to get into your provincial French panties — you are not putting up with his misogynistic antics. You have read way too much feminist theory to deal with a guy who only likes you because you’re good-looking and don’t want him. You’ve got better things to do, such as read more books.


MULAN

If there is one thing you are not interested in, it’s restrictive gender norms. You are the woman who is going to “have it all,” all while rejecting the notion that you have to sacrifice your womanhood to do so. If you want to dress in a more “masculine” way, you will. If you want to do what is stereotypically perceived as “a man’s job,” you’re signing up tomorrow. If you want to kill Huns, someone needs to give you a bow and arrow. And, at the end of the day, if you’re into the smoking hot captain with the voice made out of farm-fresh butter, you’re going to take him home (and possibly introduce him to your sassy grandmother over dinner before what is undoubtedly a hot round of army sex).


JASMINE

People are always trying to tell you what to do. Marry this guy, inherit this castle, don’t leave this area of the city. People treat you like you’re a piece of property, and you’re actually a fully grown woman who, aside from being a non-horrendous version of Kim Kardashian, is more than capable of making her own choices. You may be going for the guy with no apartment and (apparently?) no access to a shirt, but you’ll be doing it your way. Besides, you don’t even really need a guy, you’re too busy hanging out with your awesome cat.


TIANA

You are the one who is always throwing dinner parties. You’ve got that Martha Stewart thing going, but not in a pretentious way. Always cooking, always having people over, always being the perfect hostess. You don’t have time to go to balls and cotillions and try to meet boys — though you may help out a smoking-hot (if slightly simple) prince if he really needs it, and looks like a sexier Bruno Mars. You’re going to open up your own place someday, so people will finally start having to pay for all the delicious recipes they’re always trying to get from you for free.


ESMERALDA

You are strong, despite your oppression. You are humble, despite your sizzling good looks. You are loving, despite being treated like an object by every man you pass. And yes, you may be a sex worker (or at least someone who spends their time swinging around poles in what is ostensibly a children’s movie, ???) but that doesn’t mean you don’t make the errant stop by a Catholic church to pray for all the people who have it worse off than you. You’re struggling, but you still clearly have enough money to pay for fabulous gold hip-scarves, so you know there are people who need the help more than you. You’re selfless and sexy — a deadly combination.




Cinderella, Snow White, Pocahontas, Aurora, Rapunzel, Ariel, Megara at the source
Tags: disney
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