"Isn't this job fun?"
– Ricky Gervais, who stripped down with Conan O'Brien for a "bath pic," on Conan
"I just lost my purse holder but gained cheering on my hot husband as he kicks butt! #GoPreds."
– Carrie Underwood, whose hockey player husband Mike Fisher will get back on the ice following a 113-day NHL lockout, on Twitter
"I now know that, yes, I am powerful. I'm more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand."
– Beyoncé, on her public influence, to GQ magazine
"Out with the old, in with the new, we're going to 11:30."
– Jennifer Aniston, who took a sledgehammer to Jimmy Kimmel's desk to commemorate his new late-night time slot, on his show
"This always happens."
– Favorite country artist winner Taylor Swift, who was "Kanye'd" by presenter Olivia Munn, who held onto the singer's trophy at the People's Choice Awards
"I'm turning 40 next year. I don't think I could deal with waking up next to a 25-year-old."
– Heidi Klum, who has no desire to become a cougar, to Marie Claire
"I got the cheeseburger, and then I sat there for 25 minutes and doozied it up."
– Matthew McConaughey, on his first meal following an intense diet to drop nearly 40 lbs. for Dallas Buyers Club, to reporters
"Only a little something extra came out."
– Al Roker, who "pooped his pants" during a visit to the White House after having gastric bypass surgery in 2002, on Dateline
"I want my kids to look back and say, 'Mama played it smart. Not like those other reality TV people.'"
– Here Comes Honey Boo Boo's Mama June Shannon, who put most of the show's earnings in a trust fund for her four daughters and granddaughter, to TMZ
"Any time an actress cries in a speech, drink. Any time you see a person actively not listening to someone onstage, drink … Any time anyone thanks Harvey Weinstein, eat a meatball sub."
– Golden Globes host Tina Fey, devising a drinking game for this Sunday's awards show, to The Hollywood Reporter
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! If you want to feel old, or that time has flown by in the gossip world... today is Harlow Winter Kate Madden's 5th Birthday and tomorrow is Max Bratman's 5th bday!