Move Over Rebecca Black & Nicole Westbrook; Meet Tweenchronic

Seven days into the new year and we're already being assaulted by the newest creation from Rebecca Black svengali Patrice Wilson. It's the adorable gangsta rap duo Tweenchronic with their musical act of terrorism, "Skip Rope." Watching videos like this we can only assume Patrice Wilson, an apparently middle-aged adult who works exclusively with tween girls to make the most aurally offensive trash videos on the web, must be exacting vengeance on the human race for some perceived wrong he feels he suffered.

So that you don't have to endure the entire video, here are the most objectionable parts: 0:39, a tween pretends to be a drug dealer; 1:33, tweens pretend to drink 40's out of paper bags; 1:59, a tween pretends to be a super-happy drug addict; 2:17, tweens pretend to shower themselves either with cocaine or...dear God; 2:44, Patrice Wilson proves he's a less talented rapper than children; 3:35, just advance to 3:35 okay?