"If I were in the ocean and encountered one, I'd probably do the same thing that everyone here would do, which is flap and scream like a little girl."
– Justin Timberlake, on facing his fear of sharks, on The Tonight Show
"How are my little triplets doing?"
– Jennifer Aniston, who wore an enormous prosthetic baby bump in a satirical new commercial for Glacéau Smartwater
"Jay knows what my life is like. We both have daughters and our wives are more popular than we are."
– President Barack Obama, comparing his life to Jay-Z's, at his N.Y.C. fund-raiser
"Last year at Daddy's party, Maxwell was in my belly. This year she's in my arms!"
– Jessica Simpson, sharing a new photo of 4-month-old daughter Maxwell at fiancé Eric Johnson's 33rd birthday, on her website
"She's like a unicorn ... We're not going to seriously stand here and pretend it's not like seeing a yeti, right?"
– Modern Family star Julie Bowen, on getting starstruck by Angelina Jolie, to Health magazine
"Since your character plays a CIA officer ... here CIA stands for Cutest Infant Alive."
– Anderson Cooper, gifting Homeland star and mom-to-be Claire Danes baby onesies, on his daytime talk show
"How can we feud in two days?"
– Mariah Carey, shooting down rumors of an on-set spat with new judge Nicki Minaj, to reporters
"Why did I get put in jail and a nickelodeon star has had NO punishment(s) so far?"
– Lindsay Lohan, speaking out about Amanda Bynes's recent legal troubles, on Twitter
"I figure if somebody's dumb enough to ask me to go to a political convention and say something, they're gonna have to take what they get."
– Clint Eastwood, on his controversial speech at the Republican National Convention, to Extra
"I'm not such a pervert."
– Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James, responding to how her best-selling erotic novels have resonated with millions of adoring fans, to E! News
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! :-) xoxo Enjoy your last calendar day of Summer!