"She brings this large magnolia. And she starts to do these visualizations with me. And she's going, 'Imagine your va-jay-jay as a large magnolia flower blossoming…'"
– Kate Hudson, on mom Goldie Hawn "helping" her through the birth of 14-month-old son Bing, on The Ellen Degeneres Show
"The only fish I ever ate was a fish stick."
– Jessica Simpson, vowing to eat healthier during her first post-baby TV interview on Katie
"I like working with looney people."
– Simon Cowell, describing The X Factor judging panel, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
"I'm great then!"
– Britney Spears, responding to Simon
"Get engaged. It's the perfect accessory for every outfit. I did it. You should, too."
– Avril Lavigne, on her 14-carat engagement ring from fiancé Chad Kroeger, to PEOPLE
"I've always wanted a big family. Oh, I'd love 30 [children] if I could."
– Blake Lively, before her hush-hush wedding to Ryan Reynolds, to Allure magazine
"It's like gay NASCAR."
– Eva Longoria, on her numerous costume changes while hosting the upcoming ALMA Awards, on Conan
"You ruined my life because I can't go to a friend's house and drink cheap wine anymore."
– Julianne Hough, jokingly blaming beau Ryan Seacrest for introducing her to great wine, to InStyle Makeover
"I got laid with that mullet."
– Blake Shelton, defending his questionable '90s hairdo, on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
"I wish I didn't know who Honey Boo Boo was. But I do, and it scares the s– out of me."
– Chelsea Handler, on her talk show Chelsea Lately
"Aren't you that mean girl from The Apprentice?"
– Omarosa Manigault, on the pickup line her late fiancé Michael Clarke Duncan used when they met at a grocery store, in her eulogy
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
Kate and her baby blossom
Jessica chicken of the sea
Simon loves Brit Brit's tits
Already sick of Chavril
Blake1 and her future baby blossom
Julianne is a wino
Blake2 got laid ONCE
Chelsea is grumpy someone is upstaging her crazy family
RIP Michael Clarke Duncan
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! <3