"I have the look every woman dreams of: Wile E. Coyote right after something's blown up in his face."
– Kristen Wiig as Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil, on Saturday Night Live
"#I'm on my snob."
– Kanye West, concluding his latest Twitter rant, this time on N.Y.C. fashion
"I've made the mistake in years gone by of showing up a little late to the event, right when the Beyoncés and J. Los of the world are having their moment – then you have photographers screaming for you to get out of the way! "
– Model and Met Gala veteran Coco Rocha, who made sure to show up early to this year's fete, to PEOPLE
"This is awesome."
– Joel McHale, watching Vampire Diaries star Nina Dobrev use Conan O'Brien as a yoga post, on Conan
"I'm thinking I wouldn't exactly be a great candidate to be the Bachelor right now or anytime soon."
– The Bachelor host Chris Harrison, responding to the expected quips after he announced his split from wife Gwen Jones
"In trying to conform – we're marionettes! – I ended up looking like a moron."
– Justin Timberlake, still trying to explain his outrageous boy-band style of yore, to Details
"It makes you get over the clothes that he just leaves wherever."
– Paula Patton, on having hubby Robin Thicke write songs about her, to PEOPLE
"David was standing there in the driveway with all three boys, just [shaking his head]."
– Victoria Beckham, recalling the time she forgot son Brooklyn at home during a morning school run, to Vanity Fair
"That white guy, MCA, did stuff that rappers will never do today."
– Rapper DMC of Run-DMC, on the Beastie Boys's Adam Yauch, who succumbed to cancer last week, to PEOPLE
"At the end of the day, I just know I'll probably have the worst, spoiled little kid ever."
– Blue Ivy Carter's pop Jay-Z, laughing about the pitfalls of parenting, on Oprah's Master Class: Special Edition
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! Anyone going to The Wall tonight in SF?
and <3 to all the mommies/female patriarch out there this weekend :-)