"You should have seen me in my 20s…I was the poster definition of an angry young man with a persecution complex."
– Mark Ruffalo, relating to his Avengers character the Hulk, to The Daily News
"I can't wait to see if he can master ponytails and braids!"
– New mom Jessica Simpson, on fiancé Eric Johnson's fathering skills to their newborn daughter Maxwell Drew, to PEOPLE
"I think my right butt cheek is bigger than my left butt cheek. Oh and my right boob is sooo much bigger than my left boob."
– Kendra Wilkinson, exposing her body issues, on Twitter
"Someday I will get to relax in a hair-and-makeup chair again and leave the maniacs home with you!"
– Super mom Jennifer Garner, mock threatening husband Ben Affleck, at CinemaCon
"Anyone who's seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall knows about Jason Segel's full frontal. Unfortunately, the full-frontal scene got cut from the movie so, yeah, we just basically made him do full frontal all the time on-set."
– The Five-Year Engagement's Alison Brie, dishing on her costar's off-camera nude scenes, to Moviefone.com
"I like to think divorce is not an option."
– Khloé Kardashian, who's hoping to ease the pressure on her and husband Lamar Odom by putting their reality show on hold, to PEOPLE
"I said, 'Oh I just want a little bit off.'"
– Cameron Diaz, who "burst into tears" after her recent – and unintentionally short – haircut, on The Tonight Show
"I love getting beaten up by Scarlett. Wouldn't you?"
– Jeremy Renner, on going at it with Avengers costar Scarlett Johansson, to PEOPLE
"My friends just call me Wally."
– Belgian-Australian singer Goyte (pronounced "Goh-tee-yay," like the designer), whose real name is Wouter, to PEOPLE
"Mr. President, remember when the country rallied around you in hope of a better tomorrow? That was hilarious."
– Jimmy Kimmel, roasting President Barack Obama, at the White House Correspondents' Dinner
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
2 years of Jsimp being pregnant, 2 years of articles about the baby
A vote for Kendra is really a vote for her laugh
Khloe Kares about Komittment
Cameron Diaz - boo fucking hoo
Happy Cinco de Drinko and May the Forth Be With You ONTD! :-)