"Yes, you can buy the jeans at Kmart. But not the booty…"
– Modern Family's Julie Bowen, Tweeting a photo of costar Sofia Vergara "getting sassy at Disneyland"
"I don't give a s---."
– George Clooney, on rumors that he's gay, to The Advocate
"I have a lot of money for a 21-year-old…Just recently I started letting myself eat things from the minibar."
– The Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence, indulging in the new perks of fame, to Glamour
"How are you not a woman?"
– The Voice judge Adam Levine, upon seeing contestant Cameron Novack after his gender-bending performance of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know"
"Dude. Seriously. I love my life."
– Gwyneth Paltrow, Tweeting a shot with funny guys Steve Martin and Martin Short from an Oscars afterparty
"I hate my life."
– Steve Martin, humorously posting the same photo
"Naked on her back – I'm surprised you didn't name her Chelsea Handler."
– Jay Leno, on Jennifer Aniston's new pup Sophie, on The Tonight Show
"I've won it twice, and that is High Times magazine's Stoner of the Year. I actually lost to James Franco eventually."
– Seth Rogen, bragging about his accolades
"I have bad feet, a bad memory and a bad attitude."
– DWTS's new cast member Sherri Shepherd, on what she's bringing to the ballroom, to PEOPLE
"It's time for Lind-sanity!"
– Saturday Night Live's Kenan Thompson, getting this weekend's host Lindsay Lohan in on New York's Jeremy Lin mania
"There was no nipple!"
– Jennifer Lopez, setting the record straight on her buzzed-about Oscars wardrobe malfunction, on American Idol
Which celeb had THE BEST quote of the week?
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD :-)