thirteen movie poster trends that are here to stay and what they say about their movies

These movies are always sappy dramas. Do not allow you to be mislead by the trailer or calibre of the people involved into thinking otherwise. The protagonist/his little brother/father and/or love interest is very likely to end up dead. You probably should keep your tissues handy because you'll cry tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears because you just wasted 13 dollars on this movie. This sort of poster is inevitably used for anything that involves Nicholas Sparks.
It was requested that this post should be edited down So edited down it was.
Posters here
The movies that use this sort of poster will feature a lot of action with a thin veneer of pretentious intellectual posturing. Unless it's a biopic about Johnny Cash.
Posters here
These poster are used for rom-coms that lean more on the comedy side of things. You shall not go into these with high expectations, especially if you already spied Kate Hudson or Reese Witherspoon on the poster.
Posters here
The ultimate false advertising - these movies that use The Bed will feature very little sex and a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of talking.
posters here
There is 98 percent chance that these movies this will be horror. One way or the other.
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Using blue/picture of planet Earth for nature-themed movies is apparently mandatory. They'll kick you out of the entertainment business if you use any other color.
Posters here
Black/Orange is the other blue/orange of the action movie when the action movie isn't using blue/orange. Just in case you forgot that there will be explosions.
Posters here
Apparently all action heroes run through the same blue-lit, narrow alleyway when trying to escape/catch the bad guys. It's also possible that graphic designers just re-use the same stock image of the running guy over and over again. The movies themselves are pretty similar to the Black/Orange ones except that all the explosions have been replaced with angst.
Posters here
Unlike the Bed poster trend, not so much false advertising here. However of the 42 movies on display here, only one has any sort of critical acclaim. You do the math.
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You'll notice the attempt of originality here even with the Dali (NSFW) rip-off. This means that you'll have to tread carefully here. It's very likely that the filmmakers think they're brilliant and original, regardless of reality.
Posters here
Women in red dresses are sexy and are going to sell tickets. It's an enduring trend. Warning for the faint-of-heart: These movie will feature women in prominent roles. Maybe even downsized WHORES OF BABYLON. So....
Posters here
These are supposed to either remind you of another (and much better) movie or outright trick you into believing you're actually getting this other movie at the videostore.

This trend is fairly new, so this is basically a lot of bandwagon marketing. But in this case the typeface and the way it's arranged on the poster at least gives you an idea of the amount of artistic pretention involved.
So here's a handy guide:
What the text looks like: | What it means: | What movies: |
any sort of Trajan-type of font | this movie is super-commercial | Thor, Fracture |
shitty lettering/arrangement/spacing or hand-writing | high likelihood of suck | Urban Legends 2, The Spirit, that Uma Thurman movie, The Adjustment Bureau, Morning Glory |
the movie title is as large or larger than the tagline | mediocre mess unless it involves Tilda Swinton | Rambo, The Player, Prince of Persia, Brotherhood, Salt, I'm Here, Brotherhood |
the text does not cover the face properly | the movie will be equally half-assed | The Informant, Australia |
uses the Futura typeface | attempt to appear cutting edge by ripping off Barbara Kruger or simply bandwagoning. These movies want all the awards. | The Social Network, The King's Speech |
Tilda Swinton is mentioned on the poster | Tilda is a goddess and can do no wrong | Michael Clayton, I Am Love |
source of the poster compilations. His name is