Although we expected a "statement" from Lady Gaga at last night's VMAs, we weren't expecting that she would tone down the amount of fashion SO MUCH (while amping up the ah-mazing Jo Calderone theatrics, of course). Mother Monster is usually all about an exaggerated silhouette or, you know, sculpted, body-con, raw meat shapes. But this year, she changed it up—as promised—and allowed some of her female contemporaries to steal the dramatic silhouette spotlight. So, who tried to outdo Lady Gaga's usual OUT THERE outfit shape CRAZINESS?
GWEN STEF... NICKI MINAJ
We might have to put Nicki Minaj on the top of the CRAY-CRAY ENSEMBLE pedestal. Girl, brouuuught IT. Aside from her jab-you-in-the-hip, jagged metal dress atop a flouncy pink lace skirt, she distorted her proportions with MEGA-PATTERNED Tsumori Chisato tights and piles of pink and yellow buns on her head to round (elongate?) this candy-doctor J-pop look. How can we forget to add the surgical mask, which covered her usually pink-lipped face, and that warped, elephant-like stuffed animal thing she dragged around like a cavewoman's dinner? From tip-to-toe Nicki's sensationally BIZARRE getup led the dramatic shape BONANZA at last night's VMAs.
LADY GA... KATY PERRY
But then we had Katy Perry and her yellow cube hat Christian Dior getup. OK, let's BREAK THIS DOWN: a yellow hat, pink hair, pastel pink shirt (with GREEN and YELLOW bits 'n' bobs), AND black and white shard-printed skirt with an exaggerated waist composed Katy's 1980s slash '40s slash Q'bert video game fiesta. Although this look is more "fashion-y," it's still TOTALLY OUT THERE.
Last but not least, there was JoJo wearing a black Marco Marco dress with see-through corset bodice and "OMG, THIS DRESS IS EXPLODING!" garbage bag-like inflatable hip pillows around the seemingly simple, straight, mini skirt. Y'all, this dress looks like it's, oh, edgy, but when you truly stare at it (UP CLOSE FOR HOURS) it starts to melt your brain with its WICKED CRAZY PROPORTIONS.
God bless these girls for trying, but that was just a damn mess. Leave the batshit craziness up to the professionals or hire a new stylist.
CNN knows the truth as well