We know you’re hearing conflicting reports about a certain celebrity
couple. So, you want to know what’s really going on? Of course you do!
Here you go:
1. Saying that their marriage is “intact” is simply a fresh way of
saying that they are not yet divorced. Therefore, it is a true
2. Celebrities want to be in control of the timing of announcements
about their personal lives. They get really irritated when information
leaks out prematurely. This couple is no exception. The info was leaked
and they are furious. Expect them and their publicist/s to continue to
deny any rumors to maintain a modicum of control until all the pieces
are in place for the divorce.
3. Whenever a couple insists on excessive PDA and statements about
how manly/ womanly/ sexually active they are, you should immediately suspect that at least one of them is bearding for the other. In this case, it’s a double bearding.
4. There are two publicists involved, not just one, and they are not
playing well together. One contributing factor is a recent agent/agency
5. Although the couple hasn’t really spent any time together in the
past month or so, the one thing on which all publicists can agree is…
photo ops! So you should expect several staged photo ops in the near
future of the “intact” family. There will be lots of big, fake smiles
and boisterous, fake laughter and playful, fake cuddling. They’re
actors, people. All of them. Actors know how to fake happyness.
5. Leaking information that a woman is having a secret affair with
her costar is a very creative way of trying to convince people that your
client is heterosexual. She is not.
7. Don’t expect anyone to come out of the closet on this one as a
result of the divorce. Their livelihoods depend on them being perceived
as stereotypes of an A-list masculine action hero and a sexy and devoted
8. Threats of lawsuits are mere blustering and are meant to
discourage the media from printing additional stories. The truth is that
this couple would never actually expose themselves to discovery (e.g.
interrogatories, depositions, requests to produce documents).
9. They’re done.
10. Yes, we’re sure. We have only one degree of separation from this couple.