grushka (grushka) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

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Daniel Franco, 32

After becoming the first designer to be kicked off Project Runway the first season, Daniel made it on a second time this year. The show's resident softie, he used the word "beautiful" liberally, confessed his love for Heidi Klum on camera and receives three hundred fan emails a day through his MySpace profile.

The power dynamic between my partner and I is skewed. She has the better job, makes more money, gets invited to more parties — it puts a strain on our relationship. What can we do about this?
I have to focus on my work. I wouldn't want to spend energy feeling bad about her. I'd like to get better at my career and have something that I can be proud of so that it would be more mutual.

Let's say you're dating Heidi or someone of that caliber.
It's intimidating. I would feel I couldn't be up to her standards. Heidi is gorgeous. She's like a patron saint of the arts. She started Project Runway and to me that is beautiful. I'm nervous thinking about it [dating Heidi]. The honest answer is, even if they were so huge, if they're still humble, well-centered and grounded, it wouldn't be an issue. It would be human to human. It would be real.

Have you ever slept with an attractive fan? How did you handle it? Also, how do you deal with a stalker?
You should go on MySpace. You'll freak out. Girls are like, "Marry me! Have my babies!" I'm afraid to answer. Will girls still come up to me if I answer this?

Yes. Girls want honesty.
I do get approached. What's good is that girls feel like they know me already, which is half the battle. They feel like they've connected with me already. It feels like we've been on four or five dates already. It's a very alluring thing. It's difficult to pass up. An adoring fan that wants to be with me — ah, that's beautiful!

Do you really date fans?
Yo, I'm single right now. I'm looking for a girl. I'm naturally monogamous. That's the way I roll.

So you're not going to fuck a groupie. You're going to date one and really invest in her.
Yeah, that's my natural way. But there's nothing wrong with sharing love and physical attraction. If it's a one-night stand, it's a one-night stand.

Have you had a one-night stand?
Of course.

Have you ever had a stalker?
I have a couple of stalkers right now. I never fear them. I don't even like the word "stalker." I have "obsessed fans." In their mind, they're in love with me. You know what? It can't be wrong for someone to share the love.

You don't think it's wrong that someone who knows you from four episodes of a reality show is "in love" with you?
It can't be wrong to be giving or sharing love. I do have girls that write me every day. I don't respond because I get so many. It's so cute. I'm like their homepage or something. It's nice to have fans like that because they'll talk about you, promote you, defend you, anything! They're Daniel Franco evangelists! They like what I did, they wish me the best, and they let me know it.

In one sentence, what's the best remedy for a bad breakup?
I just broke up with a girlfriend. Bad breakup. We broke up six times. It became post-modern. It got to the point where it was like, we're about to get into a fight and we're going to break up again. And three days later we'd get back together. It was a lost cause. We went to couples therapy. It helped. It became clear we were not right for each other.

So what's the best remedy for a bad breakup?
Do karaoke to sing it out.

My boyfriend found photos of me on canoodling with another guy. I was drunk and feeling flirtatious. It was harmless, but now he's suspicious. What can I do to win his trust back?
The only way a man feels like he can trust this girl one hundred percent again is by a lot of sex. She can flirt with anyone she damn well pleases, as long as her man is being taken care of.

What sexual position should be steered clear of all costs and why?
Sex standing up. It's cheesy. It's tiring in the legs. You can't get the best thrust. There's the height difference. It can be really awkward.

What's not sexy in fashion these days?
Sweaters. There's nothing sexy about them. They add bulk. They're always itchy. It always seems homey, no matter what the sweater is like. It's a big no-no. The sweater is meant for home. For Christmas.

My boyfriend wants to videotape us having sex. I'm open to this proposal, but I'm worried about a Pamela-Paris aftermath. How can I ensure the tape won't fall into the wrong hands?
It's sexy to videotape. I've done it once or twice.

Do you worry the tapes will get out?
The problem is that I never had them directed. It was like, here's the camera on the nightstand. Also, I'm always too embarrassed to watch it. I can't even watch myself on Project Runway without freaking out.

So should I make the videotape?
Do it because there's a little kinkiness to it. It's good for spicing things up. And if you're going to watch it, make sure you have a bottle of wine. And no clothes on.

How can I make sure the tape doesn't fall into the wrong hands?
Watch it with your partner once and then burn it together. Then make another one and burn that one.

I keep begging my girlfriend to go Brazilian, but she refuses to do it. How do I convince her to go bald, at least once? And what can I do to return the favor?
The coolest, most suave thing to do is fly her to Brazil. Do as the Brazilians do! Then try it during the vacation.

What if this guy is poor?
Then do the hot wax trick that was in 9 1/2 Weeks. Accidentally pour a lot down there, just rip it.

Diana Eng, 22

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A recent graduate of Rhode Island School of Design, Diana is known for her Matrix-meets-Jetsons sensibility. Strong with concepts, she Christiancreates outfits that are cut like sculptures and fastened with magnets. She was nicknamed "Dirty Diana" for getting down on the dance floor during the Nicky Hilton challenge.

My partner has the better job, makes more money, gets invited to more parties — it puts a strain on our relationship. What can we do about this?
Maybe the person who's getting all the invites can help the other person develop the thing they want to do in their spare time. They can try to be more supportive so the other person feels like they have something too.

What if the roles were reversed and you were dating Marc Jacobs, if he was straight of course.
I would try to be as supportive as possible. If I was feeling really intimidated or put off by it, then I would look at myself and see if there's something I should do to change my life.

What do you think about the urban dating scene?
Are the people in New York City really weird? I was excited about graduating from RISD because it was like, "Finally I won't be surrounded by only gay guys and women!" Then I moved to the city and immediately started dating people because I was so excited about dating, and they were all really awful. They had all these weird problems.

Be specific.
I dated this one guy. He was really nice. He invited me to movie screenings. It was fun. Then I found out he had a girlfriend. He tried to put the moves on me and I was like, "You just told me you had a girlfriend! Why would that be okay?" There was another person who told me he was anti-semitic. I didn't know how to react! And then he was like, "Oh, I'm actually not anti-semitic." Why is he making up this random stuff to tell me?

Have you ever slept with an attractive fan?
I thought about it. I had a couple fans who contacted me who are really attractive, and I was like, "Hmm, maybe I should talk to them." But I thought it would be a weird situation.

Because they would always think of me in a different light instead of seeing me as a fellow person.

So you wouldn't date a fan?
No. A lot of people think I'm a lesbian for some reason. I got a naked picture from a girl. I get all these emails from women. I don't understand why.

I've been mistaken for a lesbian. It's flattering.
At one point, I was getting more emails from women than men!

Do you respond?
I don't respond to people who are romantically interested. I feel awkward and I don't know what to say.

Have you ever had a stalker?
I got a death threat. It wasn't sent directly to me. It was to a website administrator for one of my websites. It sounded like it was written by a twelve year old.

What did the threat say?
It was this weird little poem. It rhymed. And at the end it said, "Oh, I want to kill you!"

In one sentence, what's the best remedy for a bad breakup?
Finding something that you really enjoy doing, especially if it's creating something. You'll have a really great product. "I broke up with so-and-so, but look at this great thing I made!"

My boyfriend found photos of me online canoodling with another guy. It was harmless, but now he's suspicious of me. What can I do to win his trust back?
Invite him along to all the parties. If he's there, he can watch you. He can also be more trusting of you. I'm sure he does that stuff too. And if he doesn't go to the parties, you can blame it on him.

My boyfriend wants to videotape us having sex. I'm open to the idea, but I'm worried about a Pamela-Paris aftermath. How can I ensure the tape won't fall into the wrong hands?
Be in charge of taking the tape. Also, they have these things that can detect hidden cameras. I thought about buying one before going on Project Runway. I didn't want them to show me getting changed or in the bathroom. Then I thought, they're not going to want to air that anyway.

It's a detector? How does that work?
It must have some sort of frequency. I'm not really sure how it works.

How is it packaged?
It's a little sensor on a key chain.

Last night I was in the moment with a guy, and when I said something filthy, it turned awkward. How can I determine how dirty someone really is?
Initiate a dirty conversation. Like, "Hey, what kind of porn do you like to look at?" Because that often determines what kind of things people are into. They're not going to watch something if they find it really offensive.

Zulema Griffin, 28

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To describe costume designer Zulema as fearless and intimidating is an understatement. She accused the other designers of stealing her form and once said to fellow designer and teammate Kara Janx, "I don't care if you have to cry and cut, but you better cry and cut."

My partner has a better job, makes more money, gets invited to more parties — it puts a strain on our relationship. What can we do about this?
Get over it and feel fabulous with the fact that they [the other partner] have money. If the person isn't holding it over your head, why do you care? Let them give you the money they give you, buy yourself a nice purse, keep your relationship going. It's about love. Keep it rockin' in the bedroom.

Let's say you're the dominant one. The season finale of Project Runway just came out, you're getting invited to all these parties, you get a licensing deal, you're being mentioned in the tabloids, and you're dating a bartender.
Today's bartender is tomorrow's bar owner or big actor. I don't know anyone who's just a bartender. Let me tell you something. One of the first people I dated was a man who came from generations of wealth. He was a diplomat and graduated from Cambridge, and I'm this black girl from the ghetto. It doesn't mean I'm not intelligent. Imagine if I'd thought, I'm not good enough to be with this person because he knows heads of states. If I had denied myself the opportunity to be exposed to something else. I probably wouldn't be in the place I am now.

Is there anything one should never do on camera?
I don't feel like I was fairly edited on the show. I'm married to an editor.

You never talked about your husband on the show.
My wife. I did talk about her, they just chose not to air it.

They make you out to be this fabulous straight, single woman.
I know. The people who [the producers of the show] want to look good will look fabulous even though they're monsters. People who say almost nothing can be made to look like the devil. With reality shows, there's a script.

But is there a general rule on not talking about family, ex-boyfriends or sexual experiences?
No, because did you know I was gay or married?

They air what they want to air. There are no general rules.

I'm a star and a groupie is pursuing me. She's very attractive, but we have nothing in common. I wouldn't mind sleeping with her, but I'm afraid she'll get too attached. Have you ever slept with an attractive fan?
I'm dealing with a stalker right now. That's my mistake — I'm too friendly. This person was using facts or information about me so he could talk to me more. People start preying on you just because you're a nice person.

Let's say you're single and you have a gorgeous groupie all up in your grill.
Then you play by the fling rules: you go to a neutral place, make sure to hide your ID so they have no information about you, you do what you need to do. You need to hit it and quit it. And then you need to go.

In one sentence, what's the best remedy for a bad break-up?
Get someone new. That's my remedy.

What's your most embarrassing moment in bed? Was it filmed?
First and foremost, I would never let anyone film me. We live in an age where, in five seconds, your life can be ruined by someone uploading a video and emailing it to the world. Never let yourself be filmed like that. I don't believe in embarrassing moments. Things just happen. I'm not embarrassed by much.

What if you've been dating your boyfriend for two or three years? Then can you make a tape?
That's not long enough for me.

How many years?
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years and we have no sex tape together. I need ten solid years.

I keep begging my girlfriend to go Brazilian, but she refuses to do it. How do I convince her to go bald, at least once? And what can I do to return the favor?
Act like you're a Swedish masseuse. Go into the bathroom, light candles and put the steam on. Make it hot, sweaty, lusty and shave her down. She'll be so caught up in the moment, she'll be completely waxed and cleaned. It would so work.

Last night, when I was in the moment with a guy, I said something filthy and it turned awkward. How can I determine how dirty someone really is?
You sort of know. When you're a freak you can smell out the other freak. Real freaks know other freaks. It's never a problem.

How can I pick up the freak scent?
Sometimes you can tell by the manner in which people have sex. Generally people who are very routine are not adventurous people. They're not trying new things, they're not trying to put you in position number eighty-four this week. You can just tell.

Jay McCarroll, 31

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The cantankerous, inappropriate czar of reality TV was the winner of Project Runway's first season. His blunt personality and crass sense of humor have earned him a legion of adoring worshippers. Since he left the show, he's been trying to strike a licensing deal for his stunning designs.

Are you sick of fans asking you what you've been up to since you won Project Runway?
Fans feel like they can talk to you for forty minutes. On the street, they follow you into a fabric store. Then into the next fabric store. That's when it gets a bit weird. Overall, people are super nice, and at the end of the day, they're fans. Which means they're customers. If I want to have a giant house, I have to be nice to these people. Not that I wouldn't be nice to them. It's just strange having people know me.

Even after a year?
Yeah, because I'm still basically new to New York City, and there's so many people. People from Sweden come up to you and say, "We love you in Sweden! You know Heidi Klum?" Yeah, I know that bitch. I saw her big, purple nipple after she was nursing a baby.

The questions I'm asking you pertain to sex, dating and relationships.
Wasn't I supposed to do this on Monday? At eleven a.m., right?

No. That's probably something else.
Oh. Thank God I don't have to wake up early on Monday, then.

Did you read the Marc Jacobs article in the March issue of Jane?
No. Does it talk about how he likes to get it in the ass?

Not at all. The interviewer told MJ, "You're the twentysomething woman's favorite designer." And he says, "Really?" He's acting humble, but you know he already knows this.
Oh, he knows everything. C'mon!

That's why I like Kanye West. He's like, "I'm the shit and I know it."
[Exasperated sigh] Anyone who throws that stuff in your face, I just hate it. There's something about being confident and something about being proud. And also, c'mon, get another album out! Put a couple more albums out before you start talking like that. Like I'm one to talk. I talk shit about everybody, and I haven't even put a line of clothes out yet.

My partner has the better job, makes more money, gets invited to more parties — it puts a strain on our relationship. What can we do about this?
Plead poverty. Take advantage of the situation, then secretly get a new job that pays more than theirs. Don't tell them. Keep pleading poverty. You're saving money for your next boyfriend. Keep them for ten years, until you're old and your tits start to sag. Then make enough money and upgrade to a younger model.

What if you truly like this person?
Discuss the idea of an open relationship so you can fuck him and other people too.

Do you really believe in open relationships?
Yup, because there are people you can be friends with but don't want to fuck. And then there are people you can be friends with and fuck. And then there are people you can just fuck. And there are women you can fuck. And men you can fuck. There's all sorts of people you can fuck. And all sorts of people you can have friendships with. Or deeper relationships. Or cuddle with. Or petting relationships. On the cover of Newsweek a few weeks ago or one of those things was this story, the ambisexual . . .

That was New York magazine. It was about the new pansexual, metroflexible New York teen.
I'm looking for heteroflexible teenagers. Next question.

You receive lots of hate mail?
Emails like, I hope you die of a heart attack. Your street wear is only good for bag ladies. You won by luck. Your aesthetic is pathetic.

Your aesthetic is pathetic!
Which I think is cute for a t-shirt. "Your aesthetic = pathetic." That's what they wrote. I can get 1,000 emails and I like the hate ones. It's like, yeah, you love me and I'm great and I'm inspiring you to knit again, but I really want to get to know the person who wishes I would die of a heart attack. What was the question?

Is there anything that one should never do on camera?
Never go on a reality show twice. [In reference to Daniel Franco's two consecutive seasons on Project Runway].

He said he might go on a third time.
You have got to be kidding me.

I noticed you're not on MySpace. Why not?
I used to be on MySpace and Friendster, and then I got rid of them before I went on the show. It had nothing to do with going on the show. I realized I don't have sixty-nine friends. I don't know why I'm trying to kid myself and think that I do.

Isn't it good publicity though? Daniel Franco has a MySpace profile. Lots of Project Runway people do. They have five thousand friends and comments like, "You're the BEST! I hope you win!!!"
There's a thing called mystery and distance, and if you want to be one of the minions you can have your little MySpace profile. But if you want to elevate yourself to superstardom, then don't have a MySpace profile. You know what I'm saying? If you're that accessible, people are going to think so-and-so's not really that cool, but if I'm in hiding for seven months and I remerge, then people are like, ahh! The fucking walls of heaven have opened up and the light shines in. It's a marketing move.

Have you ever slept with an attractive fan?

You never hooked up with a Jay groupie?
I tried, but I'm so bad at flirting that I can't get in the pants. I've been in a situation where they're like, "Wait a minute, are you that guy from Runway Project?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I have your dick in my mouth right now. Let's talk about this after you come." True story. But yeah, sleep with them [groupies]. Who cares? There are so many people in this world. Sleep with them and blow them off like you blow anybody else off. But make sure your dick is big enough so she doesn't tell all her little MySpace friends how you're hung like a mouse.

How do you deal with a stalker? Have you ever had one?
Yeah, I did have a stalker. It was just email after email after email. Emails about, "Did you get my last email?" Emails about, "Yeah, I sent you an email last week, did you get those reminder emails about me sending you an email?" Ignore. That's one word: ignore. Ignore, ignore, ignore, and they will go away. Because they will find a Santino or Nick Verreos [Project Runway designers] to stalk now because they're more accessible.

In one sentence, what's the best remedy for a bad breakup?
Anonymous sex. I'm going to a bar at seven p.m., staying until two a.m., my eyes are going to cross and I'm going to pick up the only person that shows me the slightest bit of attention. I don't care if you're sixty-one. I'm horny. You've got a mouth and I have a dick to shove in it. Um, that and maybe a romantic novel, chocolates and a bath.

Okay, for real now, what's the best remedy for a bad breakup? A full sentence.
Go out, comma, pick someone up, comma, get banged, comma, go home, comma, don't exchange numbers or emails, period.

What's your most embarrassing moment in bed?
Oh God. Probably having to take my clothes off. Most embarrassing? Probably when I met this guy and, I don't know . . . It's such a normal occurrence with gay sex, but it's still embarrassing to me.

What happened?
Okay, what comes out of your ass? Shit. I was with this guy and, God forbid, got a little on his dick, and he said, "You know, next time you might want to enema." What's really embarrassing though? If you're that intimate with someone and you're naked with them. That's embarrassing in itself. You know what's weird to me? When you're in the middle of gobbling a cock, and you're like half an hour into it, and in your head you're like, I totally have a penis in my mouth. Otherwise, this penis is covered by pants, at a business meeting, in boxers, flaccid, sweaty, stuck between your balls, in the car, at the gym, walking down the street, in tighty-whities, out on a Saturday night, it pees and hangs down in a toilet bowl when you're taking a shit, and now it's in my mouth, and it's hard and it's going to shoot some fluid at the back of my tonsils. It's a bizarre concept. This whole penis getting hard, being in someone else's mouth, going into an orifice. It happens to me when I'm fucking or getting fucked, too. Being like, What is this? This is not a normal thing.

The only time I ever got into it with my mouth was when I eating that turkey club this afternoon. But that was so much more enjoyable. You can make a guy come quickly; all you have to do is threaten them. Be like, "Listen, I have fucking schoolwork to do. It's 1:12 p.m., I'm giving you until 1:20 p.m. to come, or else I've gotta go. Either that or you can fuck me in the ass."

My boyfriend wants to videotape us having sex. I'm open to this proposal, but I'm worried about a Pamela-Paris aftermath. How can I ensure the tape won't fall into the wrong hands?
You dumb fucking idiot whore. What the hell is wrong with you? Why do guys make videotapes of themselves having sex? To show their friends who they're having sex with and how they fucked them. Girls are so stupid. Who really watches themselves having sex? You know girls aren't setting up cameras, watching themselves get laid. It's only for the guy's benefit, and the guys are showing their friends, you dumb ass. Don't do it! Break up with him! Fucking pervert. Have you ever been to a video store? There are, like, a million fucking whores out there that don't mind getting filmed. Why don't you watch them instead? That girl is dumb and her boyfriend is dumber. Fucking dumb and dumber. They should rent that movie.

Okay, next question . . .
An ex of mine said, "Oh, I have a picture of you shirtless. It looks so cute!" And I'm like, "What? I am on my way over. I'm at your door, you asshole."

Are you ever worried that your ex is going to email the photo to a newspaper or website?
I have another story about that, because I did work in porn for two years. I worked at a live website where girls masturbated online for six dollars a minute. And then I was filming porno movies of girls getting paid off and drugged up to get fucked in the ass. On 9/11, we had to close down. As planes were hitting the second tower guys were typing in, "Show me your tits! Where the fuck are the girls? Show me your pussy!" I had to type in, "Hellooooo. It's World War 3 right now. I gotta go." So all the girls went home that day, and my bosses made me stay in the building by myself. So I'm like, okay, I know what happened. The things crashed down. It's two p.m. I'm horny for some fucking reason. And then I jacked off. The next day, my bosses said, "Nice show yesterday. We got you on camera jacking off."

Oh my God.
I'm waiting for that shit to surface. One of these days, one of my old bosses is going to need some cash. But I did have a lavender satin sheet around me, so you couldn't see that much.

When it comes out are you going to roll with it, like Paris Hilton?
I'll be like Madonna and say, "Yeah and? I jacked off at work with a zebra carpet and lavender sheet. And? You're jealous?"

What's a current fashion trend that's not sexy?
I hate fur. It's just so gross. You dirty filthy fuck. You don't care about anything on this planet. You're willing to let something get electrocuted and have its skin ripped off for you to walk down Fifth Avenue with your stupid daughter and your stupid perfume. I have a giant fucking fire hydrant that I'm going to bang your face against, you dumb Upper-East-Side cunt. Aside from that, what do I hate? Anything Fergie wears. I hate Fergie from the Black Eyes Peas. She's foul.

How do you instigate dirty talk in the bedroom?
I would start off slow. Say, "Yeah, you like sucking my cock?" See how they respond. If they're like, "Ew, you're disgusting," then just stop. Or take it a bit further, "Yeah, you like sucking my cock? Does it remind you of when you were in high school and had your first cock in your mouth?" Go a little bit further, "Yeah, you saw that guy in the grocery store today. He wanted to suck your cock." And then, "Yeah, you saw that priest in church on Sunday. Put your knees on the alter and suck that dick." Take it little further and say, "Yeah, you know God wants to shove a dildo up your ass."

What sexual position or act should be steered clear of all costs and why?
Bestiality is cool. Just kidding. I smuggled a bestiality magazine from Amsterdam to London. It's illegal to bring pornography to London. At that point, I had dreadlocks and looked crazy. They went through my bags. They were convinced I had weed. They found this porno magazine and confiscated it. They asked, "Why would you have this magazine?" And I said, "Because I have friends who have never seen someone getting it on with a snake." This was in 1995, pre-internet craze. I had to get strip-searched. They opened up my anus and did all sorts of weird shit. Two cops were watching me do this and I started to get a boner. It was one of the worst days of my life. That was my brush with bestiality.

Never again?
Never say never.


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