And the post that started it all, "An Open Letter To Pete Wentz:" http://askheychris.livejournal.com/93593.html
breath in the crispy and blue and frigid air. in with the new.
breath out the ugly. breathe out the animosity. out with the old.
the black circles underneath my eyes show a lifetime of lessons learned in the past two weeks.
i run through these streets because i need to know that im still capable of doing so.
i put one foot in front of another and my lungs convulse and spasm and i think to myself, what the fuck am i doing this for?
i hate this.
i hate to run.
it would have been much easier to just lie on the couch. to lie in bed. to rot on the internet.
but fuck easy.
i run BECAUSE i hate to run.
because running thinks it can get the best of me. because if i stop running when i think i have it beat it comes back. running doesnt stay down. running wont ever give up. and i will not let it win. i will not let it get the best of me.
nor will i let anything.
this is not contrived for your viewing pleasure. these are not bottled words and this is not your hero.
i am the exhaust condensation of the machine of life.
i am the disappointed remnant of this flash and quick edit mtv generation.
but i know this. and thats what gives me the one up on you.
because i am the jet engine of pomp and flare and standing up for whats right...
even if that makes me the bad guy.
so be it.
because this heart is too fucking strong.
too fucking dumb.
and shines despite your jabs and stabs.
i run these streets through the wet and melting slush of last nights snowfall and i think, wouldnt it be easier to just stop the burn? just stop and you can breathe easier, just stop and take a drink, just stop and rest.
fuck giving in.
fuck giving up.
i look at my reflection on the windows of the overpriced boutiques on clark and i see the frozen condensation accumulating on my hat. i stick out my lower jaw, tilt my head slightly backward, stare at the ground and shake my head back and forth and say out loud, "this is my fuck you."
this is my testament to not letting you win. to not letting you get the best of me. because while i dont have much, what i do have i will fight tooth and fucking nail for.
these streets dont stand a chance up against this heart.
for family. friends. heart. loyalty. beliefs and truth i will stand against anything that attempts to destroy or defame these things. i will stand, clench my little brown paws into white knuckled fists and go down swinging for what i believe.
it not easy but doing whats right rarely is.
i refuse to perpetuate false sentiments.
i refuse to hold up outdated traditions.
i refuse to surround myself with fake and self-importance.
i refuse to subject those to me that deserve better.
i refuse to be distracted by the fashion show of life.
to those whos feelings that have been hurt, i apologize.
to those who want the truth, you understand.
to those that look to me as a villain, you're not too far off.
to those that look to me as a hero, you couldnt be more wrong.
to the life that tries daily to widdle me down, im calling you on your shit.
to those that have ever believed in one word ive ever written, i owe you.
i owe me.
i owe us all a fight.
because for those of you that have been with me since the beginning you know that i live and die by friendship.
and i will do whatever it takes to protect that.
i live deliberate and intentional.
i live these words.
the most hated dude on the internet.
aka, 'chicago blogger'.
This never ceases to amuse me.