"It's not like I was playing with it."
– Jennifer Garner, who got up close and personal with Russell Brand's anatomy while filming Arthur, on The Late Show with David Letterman
"Cool it, honeybadgers. We're just friends."
– Olivia Wilde, taking to Twitter to squash reports of a budding romance with longtime pal Justin Timberlake after the two were spotted clubbing in Hollywood
"'Do not fear...the Sheenius is here!' I'm not gonna lie. I came back to twitter for 2 reasons. My fans and to follow @charliesheen #winning."
– Miley Cyrus, announcing her return to the social media network after a year-and-a-half sabbatical
"Miranda likes me dirty."
– Blake Shelton, one of PEOPLE Country's Hottest Guys, on how fiancée Miranda Lambert prefers him
"I came to Los Angeles for the first time in 1994. I spoke no English. I only knew how to say two sentences: One was, 'How are you?' The other was, 'I want to work with Johnny Depp.'"
– Penélope Cruz, who's starred with the two-time Sexiest Man Alive twice and picked up a little humor along the way
"I'm just lucky if I don't burn the house down."
– Budding domestic goddess Kellie Pickler, on what's cooking in her newlywed life, to PEOPLE
"Before the first dance, he's like, 'Can I pray for you?' I'm like, 'No! I told you, Hank, don't make this day any different!'"
– Superstitious Dancing with the Stars contestant Kendra Wilkinson, who prefers husband Hank Baskett to keep quiet when she competes on the show, to PEOPLE
"I'd like to have a sign for the playground that says, 'It's okay if your kid takes my kid's toy. Don't freak out.'"
– How I Met Your Mother's Alyson Hannigan, who's not against some playground rough play, to Scholastic Parent & Child
"I know I have horse-like features but I'm a person!"
– Sarah Silverman, responding to getting her heart broken by a serenading unicorn in a bizarre Youtube video
"You know you ask people to the prom, and they're like, 'Look, I really like you but I can't go with the fat kid from Stand By Me.'"
– Jerry O'Connell, on the childhood role that ruined his shot with the ladies in high school, to Craig Ferguson
Which celeb had THE BEST quote this week?
HAPPY FRIDAY, ONTD! :-)