Model/actress Jenny McCarthy would love to haunt socialite Paris Hilton if she becomes a spirit after death. The actress wants to offer the hotel heiress moral lessons and drive her mad with insults.
She says, "I'd try and give her (Hilton) some really good spiritual direction in her life. I'd also love to f**k with her, whispering in her ear things like, 'Your clothes are dirty! You're totally out of style! Eat something!'"
Meanwhile, McCarthy is amazed she's still alive and well because she's had numerous brushes with death. As a child the blonde beauty suffered a barrage of accidents including being hit by a car, and a near-fatal choking seizure.
She says, "I've had so many near-death experiences. When I was six I choked on a piece of candy and was in a room on my own but no one could hear me. In my head I was calling for my mom and then suddenly she appeared and did the Heimlich manoeuvre. Then, when I was seven, I was hit by a car, flew up in the air and landed on my feet. I have no idea why I am still here, actually. It really is unbelievable."
And she is convinced she is invincible: "I think when I do finally go, people will be saying, 'Thank god she's finally dead.'"
What about "Stop showing people your cooch Grandma." or "Semen causes cancer."?