Me-Me Holds Huge Celeb Captive (In Bed)
Just because Tobey Yum Yum isn't frequenting Ms. Dallas' trailer too much anymore does not mean she's passing time on sets solo.
Oh hell no.
We just got word that Me-Me was caught (or rather, overheard) sexing up a major superstar recently. Let's call him Wilby Whiskers.
Me-Me and Wil are acquaintances. They aren't super tight, but have tons of mutual friends and cross paths professionally.
Now, we had no idea just how close these two were until recently.
Yep, you guessed it! You can add "hump-buddies" to each star's versatile resume.
We all know Me-Me gives special private tours (for two) of her trailer on set, and it seems that Wilby Whiskers extends the same courtesy!
While working together a little while back, people heard very loud, moaning rumblings coming from W.W.'s trailer. Everyone knew Ms. Dallas was in there with him so the following scenario managed to still shock a few people:
"He came out, all disheveled, fixing his pants and shirt," an eyewitness tells us. "Everyone knew what had just happened, but we were all stunned."
"He actually came out of his bedroom compartment and deposited his used condom in a trash can—in front of folks."
Me-Me made her not-so-stealth exit moments later.
Damn dude, nervy, not to mention tacky as hell!
This is so wrong, yet so right.
Me-Me, you should really thank us. Not because we're hiding your sexcapades (don't think you shock too many people anymore) but because we won't reveal that you bedded W.W.
Seriously, his worshipers would murder you.
And It Ain't: Nikki Reed & Robert Pattinson, Julia Stiles & Michael C. Hall, Selena Gomez & Cory Monteith
Previous exclusions are here.
Maybe try that multiple-partner thing with a guy instead of with another girl?
Nope. Didn't work, either.
Which is weird, because Sheila loves girls—in every way! See, the real problemo here is that both Sheila (whose knockers are as fierce as her professional reputation) and her man ultimately both prefer same-sex lovin' when it comes to getting down.
It's just that neither partner has really faced up to this fact—and with each other—until recently. And while every rag in town is hell-bent on trying to find out who, exactly, was the other person who busted up her Hollywood domestic life, it really wasn't one person at all.
This is simply a very beautiful couple who tried to make it work, but, ultimately, discovered they were just wired differently—particularly in bed.
Shame, too. Because Sheila has no intention of disclosing to the public the fact that she sometimes prefers girls. So, get ready for a whole host of new man-beards to be trotted out. In fact, it's already beginning.
Sheesh, doesn't Hollywood know bearding is so not worth the pain it ends up causing?
No. This town never learns.
And It Ain't: Blake Lively, Jennifer Carpenter, Sandra Bullock
Bonus-Bonus Blind: Veronica Bee-Stings. Read more here.
The past 2 weeks' exclusions:
-Butter Pussy is not Jessica Biel or Martha Stewart
-Coco Crack-Head is not Jenna Fischer, Amy Poehler (or any SNL castmember), Mischa Barton.
-Nevis Divine is not Paul Rudd.
-Veronica Bee-Stings is not Jennifer Aniston.
-Fernando Tinkle-Treat is not Josh Duhamel.
-Wilby Whiskers is not Bret Michaels
-Lucretia Johnson is not Lara Flynn Boyle.
-Altar-Ego Salami is not Michael C. Hall.
-Fernando Tinkle-Treat is not Harrison Ford.
-Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream are not Leonardo DiCaprio and Lukas Haas.
-Chester Shorts-Off is not Michael C. Hall.
-Zac Efron, Michael C. Hall, Leonardo DiCaprio, Oprah, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie and one of Twilight's Volturi members have been the subject of a Blind Vice. Cameron Diaz "shares her Vice with someone so random I doubt any of you would guess the mystery fella." Any guesses?
-Ed O'Neill, Paul Rudd, Amber Heard, Chris Colfer, Garret Hedlund and white Michelle Williams have not been a BV.
For those keeping score, of the people mentioned this week:
-Altar-Ego Salami is not any of these people.
-Butter Pussy is not any of these people.
-Coco Crack-Head is not any of these people.
-Fernando Tinkle-Treat is not any of these people.
-Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream are not any of these people.
-Lucretia Johnson is not any of these people.
-Me-Me Dallas is not any of these people.
-Nevis Divine is not any of these people.
-Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off are not any of these couples.
-Tobey Yum Yum is not any of these people.
-Veronica Bee-Stings is not any of these people.
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12