Let the now buff Ed gang invite you in.
Ed, Edd, & Eddy
The story this picture tells us: After another one of the boys’ get rich quick schemes goes horribly wrong and leaves two children dead (let’s say Jimmy and Kevin, who die after ingesting a frankly insane amount of rat poison) the three Eds are sent to Juvenile Hall from where they emerge… changed. No more the pushovers they once were, Ed, Edd and Eddy return and quickly take over the old neighborhood where they extort and harass their way into riches and (fearful) respect. Later Ed dies of a heroin overdose and Eddy rapes Nazz.
The story this picture tells us: Two mentally unstable brothers, Mario and Luigi, murder their way out of an insane asylum and take refuge in a meth lab, which they quickly turn into just a regular lab. Now, high as two homicidal kites and hallucinating Hell itself, the brothers go on a rampage throughout the city, taking 17 innocent lives before being stopped by a helicopter sniper. The movie adaptation will star Bob Hoskins as Mario and Alan Rickman as Luigi.
The story this picture tells us: In a post apocalyptic world where most of the Earth was destroyed during War World III, two solitary figures traverse the wastelands looking for the mythical wiseman known as “Andy.” One of them is Buzz, a former marine pilot who due to extensive wounds received during the war had to cyborgize most of his body, making him currently more machine than man. His partner is Woody, a lonesome gunslinger unfit for this modern age of lasers and spacecrafts, but who can still take care of himself. The story is an allegory for the role of religion in people’s lives.
The story this picture tells us: A gritty thriller drama about Elmer, a serial killer terrorizing the city of Acme. Throughout the movie, Elmer’s back-story will be presented to the audience via flashbacks: when he was a child his dad used to take him hunting deep into the woods and molest the ever loving crap out of him. One day the boy had enough and shot his father in the back, but the damage was already done. Now he creeps the dirty alleys of Acme looking for new victims, but his reign of terror might finally come to an end after he started hunting the local transvestite “Bunny,” who will not go down without a fight.
Wizard of Oz
The story this picture tells us: After being transported to the strange and magical Land of Oz, Dorothy befriends the maniacal, demon-possessed Scarecrow, a tormented Were-lion named… Leo (shut up) and a steam punk android designed only to murder and look totally badass. Later an ancient god named Oz orders them to kill the local witch because she refused to worship him. The twist ending reveals Dorothy has dreamed the entire ordeal because she’s in a coma after hitting her head at a Marilyn Manson concert.
The story this picture tells us: Star Wars filtered through the mind of Jules Verne. As far as we’re concerned this picture alone deserves 10 Oscars on the spot. No, make that 20. You know what? Give this ALL the Oscars, even the ones for best Documentary and Animated movie. Make up a few new Oscars if you have to, just… shower this thing with rewards. It’s that awesome.
Legend of Zelda
The story this picture tells us: The evil wizard Ganon kidnaps Princess Zelda to get his hands on 3 magical triangles and take over the world. He deeply regrets this about 5 minutes later when Link walks into his palace having brutally slaughtered most of his army on the way there. Ganon is killed (painfully) and the rest of the game/movie features Link giving it to Zelda on a bed of enemy skulls to the soothing sounds of a cheesy 70s porn soundtrack *boom-chika-wa-wa*
Marvin The Martian
The story this picture tells us: the Mars Empire is attacking Earth and they have sent one of their fleets to exterminate humanity, thus starting the battle for our survival. With Mars advanced technology and absolutely no shred of morality or conscience, the Martian commander Marvin levels entire continents and kills most of the Earth’s population in a manner of days before being suddenly wiped out by a common Earth sickness that was deadly to the Martian folk. Let’s say herpes.
Dora The Explorer
The story this picture tells us: All the benefits of the original “Dora the Explorer,” like helping people learn about and understand foreign cultures, with the added bonus of finally being able to masturbate to the show, which until now wasn’t an easy task at all. Also: That. Ass.
The story this picture tells us: It’s all there in the picture, and that is the idea for the greatest movie of all time. Someone reanimate Stanley Kubrick and get him on the phone. He will want to be all over this project.
I wish I could draw like this, and I kind of wish some of these characters actually looked like this. What do you think? FanFic party this way~