silver's good enough for me (stellawuzadiver) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
silver's good enough for me
stellawuzadiver
ohnotheydidnt

Blind Vice:

OMG! Sexy Poses Ain't the Half of It


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1: Lorin Sniffle-Puss has a hot bod, a really hot talent and some of the hottest headlines in Hollywood these days! What else could a svelte, beautiful rising star want?

Besides more money, that is (that's always a given with these newbie types). Nope, green ain't exactly the color of what's making Lorin get all excited and a bit bothered these days.

Actually, that shade would more accurate be described as pure white, baby! And we don't mean the virginal kinda white. We're talkin' cocaine-colored, sweethearts.

Yep, if you ever wondered how Lorin (who has the most exquisite legs and bod, we must say) makes it from one damn media splash to the next, and never once looks worse for the wear doing it, well, we have the answer:

L. Sniffle-Puss is getting very fond of that little power-powder Lindsay Lohan loves to sniff whenever she can get her ass away from a judge's prying eye.

And what's funny about it is, Lorin's gotten most accustomed to doin' the snort thang while outside L.A., while performing mainly promotional stuff on the side. As if nobody will see 'cause it's outta town. Yeah, right. Nobody will notice, honey-bun.

Gotta say two things here: the hours Lorin's been given to work are so extraordinary, it's little wonder Lorin resorted to something to help pull it all off (we're certain Lorin can't be alone in the taxed cast, as far as a need for a chemical second-wind goes), and, Lorin is, so far, really expert at hiding this dangerous habit.

Not only does LSP shine all dimpled and pure-like in the press, the supple star has brilliantly gotten folks gossiping about the sex card. About this particular star, that is.

Works as an awfully nice diversion.

And it Ain't: Chord Overstreet, Blake Lively, Penn Badgley


2: Remember Roxy Couture? The babe who had all of Hollywood laughing behind her back while that gorgeous hubby of hers, Stud-Bucket LeBeouf, screwed stripper after cocktail waitress?

Couture's friends—and everyone in the biz—was whispering about "poor Roxy." How could she be so clueless?

Well, turns out, it was all of us she was pulling a fast one on.

No, Rox didn't have herself a hunky actor side dish. She's far too busy keeping her adorable kids and perfect home in order. Gotta make sure the media thinks life is great great great!

Turns out, actually, that R.C. knows all about her husband's not-so-indiscrete indiscretions.

With the steely nerve that made her a household name in the first place, Rox has put in place an "out of sight, out of mind" rule. She doesn't want to know what Stud is up to as long as it's just sex and not emotional—as if LeBeouf would let himself go that far.

He's got the perfect situation! He really does love his wife. So what's the harm in a little sex on the side when he's apart from the Missus—which is a lot?

At least that's what he's been telling his bros while out at a party recently, bragging to his buddies about the hot girls he's banged recently and what a cool wife he has.

What's the harm since he has those iron-clad confidentiality agreements, right?

Wrong. Stud and Roxy's kids are starting to catch wind of their situation, which means it's time for major damage control.

So is SBL ready to act his age and settle down? The next chapter in this dangerous (in many ways) Hollywood tale remains to be seen.

And it Ain't: David Arquette & Courteney Cox, Tony Parker & Eva Longoria, Matt Damon & Luciana Barroso
Previous exclusions are here.

Stud-Bucket LeBeouf and Roxy Couture's archive page

This week's exclusions:


Judas Jack-Off is not Keanu Reeves.

Cass Stimulatia is not Rachael Ray.

Maribeth Bush is not Mo'Nique or Sharon Stone.

Nevis Divine is not Dominic Monaghan.

Toni Collette, Katie Holmes has not been a Blind Vice.

Dominic Monaghan, Ben Affleck, Shia LeBeouf, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki have been a Blind Vice.

For those keeping score, of the people mentioned this week:

-Cass Stimulatia is not any of these people.
-Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream are not any of these people.
-Maribeth Bush is not any of these people.
-Nevis Divine and Barrington Bang-Me are not any of these people.
-Stud-Bucket LeBeouf and Roxy Couture are not any of these people.


3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Congrats to dived for correctly solving last week's puzzle!

Music fans all over ONTD were elated when five of the world's biggest pop stars performed at Jackalpalooza. Each star hired a famous backing band (one of which is Maroon 5), in addition to learning to play a new instrument for the festival. Each singer took the stage at a different time (3:00, 4:30, 6:00, 7:30 or 9:00), much to the delight of their shrieking stans. In the days leading up to the concert, the blogosphere was teeming with rumors that the ladies would join together for an epic collaboration. When the day finally arrived, the singers declined, fearing that a massive stan war would wipe out their respective fanbases.

From the information provided, can you determine each singer's backing band, her instrument and the time she took the stage?

1. Britney (who didn't learn the cello) took the stage 4.5 hours before Christina and her band.
2. The singer who learned the harmonica took the stage at 7:30.
3. Either Rihanna (who didn't play with the Jonas Brothers) or Lady Gaga learned to play the xylophone.
4. The singer who learned the pan flute performed with Grizzly Bear.
5. Beyonce took the stage at some point before Britney.
6. Lady Gaga did not perform with Weezer or the Jonas Brothers.
7. The singer who played the kazoo took the stage at 3:00 PM.
8. Rihanna took the stage exactly 3 hours after MGMT.

Have fun! Here is a grid you can either print out or paste into your favorite graphics editor. Go here for more info on how to solve these. First one to reply with the correct solution wins. If you want to "hide" your guesses, cut and paste the following code:
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