The Kenosha Kid (recognitions) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
The Kenosha Kid

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An article that tells us what we already know

Jennifer Beals is Overall Better at Life Than You, Prettier, More Holistic

Jennifer Beals was featured in natural-living publication Viva Magazine, sharing her secrets to perfection. The intro is a bit odd:

Long before Jennifer Beals was crowned the unofficial spokeswoman for same-sex partners by starring as Bette Porter on The L Word, a Showtime drama about lesbians and their relationship woes, before graduating from Yale with an honours graduate degree in American Literature and before becoming mom to her four-year old daughter, came a small 1983 movie about a small-town dancer you might have heard of — Flashdance.

And from there on out, Beals essentially continues to encourage speculation: is she a real person, or a Supreme Being created by some higher power to bless the human race? Evidence that Jennifer Beals has special magical powers:

1. “I found if I can give birth without any drugs, I could get through a triathlon.”

2. She travels with a brown bag that she received from her acupuncturist, where she keeps magical holistic tea which “helps maintain a balance in the body so it can heal itself.”

3. Her dermatologist wanted to remove a potentially cancerous mole but Beals was shooting that week, and instead just cured it by taking vitamins.

4. Her family doctors are TCM practitioners and homeopaths.

5. She meditates regularly.

6. She fixed her energy-zapping Epstein Bar disease by cutting sugar, wheat and caffeine from her diet.

7. She eats only organic foods, and teaches her daughter “eco-friendly” living. In fact she recycles SO MUCH that she worries her neighbors must think they never “keep anything.”

You know how sometimes we rant about how the casual popping of pharmaceuticals, general overmedicating of our everyday lives, copious alcohol consumption and other coping mechanisms of modern life wouldn’t seem so necessary if we all had the time & money & support to truly take care of our bodies, get sleep & excercise, eat healthy foods, read books, get lots of fresh air and do work that we love? Jennifer Beals is proof.
Tags: interview

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