Amanda (yosupamanda) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
Amanda
yosupamanda
ohnotheydidnt

Up Close and Personal With Dlisted's Michael K.

more of a celeb on ONTD than irl, but still amazing.


If blogging were compared to the evolutionary process, celeb blogging would be the Darwinian pick for survival of the fittest. However, as with all wonderful things, there's always the expected dilution due to increasing quantities.

Fortunately, for us, Dlisted.com (pronounced D - Listed) emerged as the Homo sapien in the herd of beasts, and the genius behind this brilliantly funny, outrageously vulgar and surprisingly fresh site is one man known simply as Michael K.

Responsible for helping popularize catchphrases like "rabid possum head" (a reference to Kate Gosselin's "unique" hairstyle) and trends like the Three Moon t-shirts, Dlisted has spawned an entire lexicon of terms that have proliferated throughout the blogging world. He's like a gay Shakespeare, with more profanity. This is part of Michael's charm and appeal; he takes everyday situations and sprinkles them with equal parts ghetto and gay references creating a vernacular all his own. Those who read him regularly understand these neologisms and it creates a special bond with his readers. In a world of celeb antics at times so absurdly over-the-top, Michael's the ringmaster putting it all into perspective.
I had the chance to catch up with Michael K., and unlike your typical interview, we decided to opt for a friendly chat. What I discovered was a self-effacing guy who owns his glittery fabulousness and isn't afraid to make fun of anyone, including me.


Dawn O: What is it about your personality that resonates with your Dlisted readers?

Michael K:
I think I say things some people are thinking. And I'm self-proclaimed trash, so that can be entertaining to laugh at/with.

Dawn O: Approximately how many regular readers do you think Dlisted has?

Michael K:
Maybe around 500,000 (a day). I'm not too sure. I'm still surprised and grateful that more than 2 people read me.

Dawn: Most bloggers, especially the self-promotional kind, use social media tools like Facebook or Twitter as a way to publicize themselves, you however do not. Why?

Michael K:
Because honestly, people could care less. And it's just not me. I always the one making fun of people in the corner. I was never the one dancing in the middle of the room. Well, unless I'm drunk and a Debbie Deb song is playing.

Dawn O: Where do you see yourself in a year, five years?

Michael K:
Right here.

Dawn O: What advice would you give a blogger who wants to make a career out of blogging?

Michael K:
Don't expect to make tons of money. Do it because you have something to say. Oh, and be consistent! That is all.

Dawn O: Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Michael K:
I never really knew what I wanted to be actually. I wanted to be a trophy wife, but that never panned out. I just fell into this writing thing face first.

Dawn O: Have celebrities always fascinated you and why do you think they continue to fascinate the public?

Michael K:
YES! Always. Back in the day, we didn't have the internet, so I had to get my gossip from the magazines. But yeah, I always got a boner for that stuff. I think it's different for some people. Some people are fascinated, because it's like junk food. They can quickly ingest it without using all their brain cells on it. It's quick entertainment, which can come in hand at work. For others, they become completely invested and treat these celebrities like their family members.

Dawn O: Bloggers aren't portrayed well in the media, and we aren't often accused of lacking "journalistic integrity." How important is fact-checking in what you do? Are there stories you won't do, regardless of their popularity?

Michael K:
What I do is commentary. I do a little fact-checking, but it's not like I'm calling publicists or checking government records. If a story is really popular, I have to cover it at least once. But if it doesn't make my brain tingle, I won't go any further with it.

Dawn O: What blogs do you read regularly and if you had to pick a favorite, what would it be?
Michael K: I read so many blogs. But my favorite are ONTD, Crunk + Disorderly, Gawker, Buzzfeed, Vulture, Videogum, etc... Picking a favorite blog is like picking a favorite crackhead. I don't know if I can do it.

Dawn O: So, now that we got all the boring questions out of the way, let's move on to more important matters. What's with the Mother's Cookies?

Michael K:
I honestly didn't get completely obsessed with Mother's Cookies until they closed shop. Nature took over after that. I suddenly had major cravings for them and got all nervous about never eating them again. Like a crackhead.

Dawn O: Speaking of crackheads, you seem to have a thing for them.

Michael K: Crackheads are our friends.

Dawn: They are like Santa Claus to you, they just keep giving and giving don't they?

Michael K:
They are like little children. Well, children that will spit in your eye for a rock. But still.

Dawn O: Like most tabloid junkies, I follow your site regularly and have turned most of my friends on to your brand of humor - how exactly do you come up with your unique form of ghetto-gay speak?

Michael K:
Ghetto Gay! Hah. Well, I get it from my friends, family members or one night stands.

Dawn O: I am sure your legion of fans will want me to ask this, so please take no offense, but are you single or otherwise betrothed? You talk about your escapades, but some of that has to be fiction. RIght?


Michael K: No! It's not all fiction. Some of it is exaggerated for theatrical purposes, but I am a slut through and through. I have the shots to prove it. By the way, I love your hair in that pic. (a reference to my iChat profile, I was sporting a soccer mom thing)
lol

Dawn O: So, when you say you are a "slut" does this mean your no-no hole (a MichaelKism reference to his private parts) belongs to no one in particular? Oh, and don't be a smartass about my hair, besides, it's different now, but enough deflection, about that no-no hole - does anyone in particular call it home? Inquiring minds want to know!

Michael K:
It's not really a home. It's more like a halfway house. But yes, someone calls it their halfway house. And I WAS SERIOUS about your hair! You kind of look like Mariska Hargitay in that pic. You have the Hargitay wave.

Dawn O: Well your biggest fan is my hairdresser, so she will be happy you noticed. Have any celebrities ever contacted you? Like Phoebe Price (aka Chicken Cutlets, who is some kind of model) perhaps? Do you know of any who read you?

Michael K:
Phoebe Price has written me! Her e-mails are really the best and get me through life. Besides her, others have written me, but usually I just hear from their lawyers.

Dawn: Another subject of fascination on Dlisted is Anderson Cooper, aka the Silver Fox, Mah Boo. Why do so many gay men find him attractive? He's kind of "eh" to me?

Michael K: Well, ever since The Mole, I've been into him. Mostly because of the hair and the way he giggles. And he's not intimidating in a sexual way.

Dawn: Do you think he will ever come out - or will he be forced out?

Michael K:
I don't know if you'll ever see him pull a Clay Aiken by declaring his gayness on People Magazine. But I think he might start talking about it more when asked.

Dawn: Like many heterosexuals, I am curious — have you ever liked girls, or did you always know your sexual preference?

Michael K:
Well, I've visited the vagina buffet a few times in high school. We all did. I knew I loved the peen around the same time I started fooling around with girls.

Dawn: How much of your popularity do you think comes from your perspective as a gay man? I know there are a lot of gay celeb bloggers, but you seem to the most universally revered.

Michael K:
I'm not sure how much of it has to do with me being gay. Probably a lot. If I was a straight woman saying the same things, some people would probably think I was a slut (and not in the good way).

Dawn O: Another observation on your popularity. I read an interview someone did with you and the comments were embarrassing - not ONE person had anything but glowing things to say about you, and comments on Dlisted support my theory.

Michael K:
I get bad comments! All the time! I've been called a misogynist, racist, Shiloh Jolie hater, homophobe, etc... etc...

Dawn O: No way! I refuse to believe you. For example, when I have read other popular gay bloggers sites, ahem, more than half of their comments are telling them to go f*ck themselves, I don't see that on your site.

Michael K:
The comments are there. But the bad comments usually come to me through e-mail.

Dawn O: Do you give those haters the 'side-eye'? (yet another term popularized by MK when a person is talking 'smack' or giving you flack'.)

Michael K:
Naw. I talk a lot of shit, so I don't get mad when people give it back to me. It goes with the territory.

Dawn: Another strange Michaelkism, is your obsession with extreme, or as you call them, chola eyebrows.

Michael K: Well, I grew up with chola and a lot of my family members are wannabe ones, so that's where my obsession comes from.

Dawn: Is there one celebrity you really enjoy writing about?

Michael K: I like writing about a lot of them. Britney is always a good time. As is Amy Winehouse, Megan Fox, Pete Doherty, The Hoff, Betty White...

Dawn: What's most fun about your site are your unique celebrity lexicons, like Rojo Caliente (girlfriend of SITC's Cynthia Nixon), Mah Boo (Anderson Cooper), Dreamboat Doherty (Baby Shambles Pete Doherty)? Have you considered doing a Dlisted dictionary of terms for new readers?

Michael K:
Yeah, I've been meaning to do that. But I'm lazy and have the attention span of a kitten, so I haven't gotten to it yet.

Dawn O: Do people recognize you on the street now that you are so popular?

Michael K:
Very rarely do people recognize me.

Dawn: Do you ever wish to be more famous (or infamous) or is this simply a job that pays the rent? What do you really want to do with your writing is what I am getting at.

Michael K:
Well, it's more than a job to me. Since I started this wreck from the beginning, it's kind of my life. And I don't really have any aspirations of becoming the next Cojo or anything. I don't want to be famous. I've been told that if I want to be more commercial, I have to stop cursing like an angry grandma and tone down my raunchiness. Without that, I'm basically Mary Hart, but not as glamorous.

Dawn O: So you would be happy doing this forever? Don't you ever wish you could take a vacation?

Michael K: What are vacations? But yeah, I think I'll have to bring in a co-host soon so that I could pursue other writing
projects and frolic naked on the beach.

Dawn O: How often are you besieged with requests for interviews and other publicity type ventures?

Michael K:
So often! It's like I'm one of Tiger Woods mistress. Seriously, not that often. Maybe a few times a month.

Dawn O: I think that's because you are a bit of a recluse. But why change the formula, you've managed to do very well without pimping yourself

Michael K:
Well, I can't curse or say raunchy stuff on TV, so it would be kind of hard.

Dawn O: What do you for fun, or relax, besides 'dancing with the bong'? What are your other hobbies, interests?

Michael K:
Should there be other interests besides bong dancing?

Dawn O: What's one thing about you that your readers would be shocked to find out?

Michael K:
That I leave the house every now and again.

Dawn O: That is pretty shocking. I imagine you have to walk your dog sometime huh? What's your chihuahua's name?

Michael K:
His name is Elvie. And I have an outdoor area outside of my apartment, so I just let him go there. And he has wee-wee pads. Yes, I'm re-inventing laziness. I think it sums me up. Pretty much.

Dawn O: Just a couple more questions before I let you get back to to entertaining the masses, but you have to promise to
answer them no matter what ok?

Michael K:
Oh shit. Are you going to ask for my social security number and/or routing number? Because my checking account is empty, so you'd be wasting your name.

Dawn O: A game of — Would you hit it? (yet another one of Dlisted's recurring themes).

Michael K:
Yes, I'd hit it. I don't know what "it" you're referring to, but I still would.

Dawn O: Would you rather hit George Bush or Michael Moore?

Michael K:
OH CHEESUS HELP ME!

Dawn O:
Queen of the Scene or Megan Fox?

Michael K: Can I have both at the same time? That way they can chew on each other's asses while I sip on a cocktail in the corner. And not that kind of cocktail!

Dawn O: Um, sure, you are a big slut and all! So, who gets access to your nalgas, Queen or Megan?

Michael K:
Britney, because she's always packing good snacks.

Dawn: She wasn't an option! But you can never go wrong with the Brit-Brit!

Michael K:
Exactly!

Dawn: Well, MK, this was like a dream come true. I feel like Suri in high heels strutting down Madison.

Michael K:
Yes, it was much fun. Like a colonic on Christmas!

source.

bolded for the tl;dr crowd, but it's a cute interview anyways.
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