prosthetics take no prisoners (headcaseheidi) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
prosthetics take no prisoners

update on abe frohman, sausage king of chicago

It’s been more than 22 long years since Matthew Broderick first ditched school for a day so glorious, it made the world want to play hooky. “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” has since become “Citizen Kane” of the teen genre—a source of continuous cultural reference and unmatchable quality.

The cast of the film, however, hasn’t aged quite as well. Sure, Broderick lingers in the spotlight with help from that eternally boyish grin (and lends his voIice to a movie due out this month), but most of his cohorts have fallen completely off the radar. Until now.

Matthew Broderick
Our former Ferris used the movie to build a generation-spanning career in film, television and theater. Most recently, however, he’s become best known as the husband and go-to arm candy for Sarah Jessica Parker. He still keeps busy with movies and lends his distinctive voice to the title character in Christmas’ animated feature, “The Tale of Despereaux.”

Mia Sara
Born Mia Sarapochiello, things never got much better than “Bueller” for Sloane Peterson. She flirted with fame again in 2003, when she started on the short-lived WB series “Birds of Prey,” but the string of guest spots and failed pilots that followed seemed to culminate in a turn as “beautiful passenger” in the miniseries “Nightmares and Dreamscapes.” Things could be worse for Mia, though. At least she’s not "older passenger" yet.

Alan Ruck
When Cameron was in Egypt land… After a successful six-season stint as Chief of Staff Stuart Bondek on "Spin City"—and one more brush with box office glory as the annoying guy in “Speed"—Ruck has done a lot of random TV work including a recurring role on “Greek” and a gig as a bank robber on the midseason finale of USA's “Psych.” His career waxes and wanes, but he is always the hapless neurotic.

Jeffrey Jones
Jeff carved out a successful career as a character actor (basically playing Mr. Rooney over and over), starred as newspaper publisher A. W. Merrick on David Milch's “Deadwood,” and became a convicted sex offender. (Not necessarily in that order.) In 2003 he pleaded "no contest" to charges that he paid a 14-year-old boy to pose for pornographic photographs. Now he turns up on that fun Google map that shows you which neighbors you shouldn’t ask to baby-sit.

Jennifer Grey
Famous for her distinctive looks, botched plastic surgery kind of killed Grey's career after “Ferris Bueller” and “Dirty Dancing.” Friends and family couldn’t even recognize her, so the American public wasn’t expected to do the same. She still acts here and there but mostly just chills out with her husband, “New Adventures of Old Christine” star Clark Gregg, and their daughter, Stella.

Charlie Sheen
If you don’t know what’s going on with Charlie Sheen these days, you can’t be too observant—and we sure are jealous. Sheen’s life has been tabloid fodder for decades, but not even his most sordid of pasts could prepare anyone for his bizarre divorce from Denise Richards (violent voicemails, sperm theft, the works) and his open status as a September 11th conspiracy theorist. He’s also got a show you may have heard of called “Two and a Half Men.”

Ben Stein
Who would have ever imagined that one word, repetitively uttered in monotone, would set off a career of such media whoring? After hearing the laughs from his very first “Bueller,” Ben Stein totally left behind the life of a former Nixon-era White House staffer to do, well, whatever people would pay him to. He’s shilled eye drops, offered economic advice (with a grain of salt) to cable news, and recently hosted the show “America’s Most Smartest Model.” There’s just no getting rid of him.

Kristy Swanson
Kristy followed up that blink-and-you-miss-it showing in “Ferris” with the titular role in the utterly cheese-tastic film version of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” The vastly superior TV show threw whatever cult status she had out the window, but at least she won Fox’s “Skating with Celebrities.” These days she’s a spokesperson for the “Medifast” diet and guest stars on a web series about lesbians (called “3Way,” natch).

Edie McClurg
Mr. Rooney’s charmingly good-natured secretary, Grace, fared much better than he did. Actress Edie McClurg enjoys consistent work in film and television to this day (with no legal tangles!). Most recently, she lent her voice to HBO’s new animated series, “The Life and Times of Tim.”

John Hughes
Hughes pretty much defined ‘80s cinema with films like “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” “Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club,” but after 1991’s “Curly Sue,” he hung up his director’s hat to just write and produce. He hasn’t even been photographed in public since 2001. Earlier this year he received story credit under his alias “Edmond Dantes” for “Drillbit Taylor,” and it should be noted that his original characters are responsible for all five iterations of “Beethoven,” the film franchise about the Saint Bernard. And yes, there are five.

I love how there's been no recent pictures of Hughes since 2001, as if he's this elusive mythical creature or something.





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