Fun With Dick and Dumbdumb.

Something about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's habit of posing like cloying robotic clowns in staged photographs reminds me of those simplistic Dick and Jane books that were used to teach kids to read back in the 1950's. Riveting story lines involving the adventures of Dick and Jane typically went like this: See Dick run. Run, Dick, run. Run, run, run. Jane has a toy. It is a red toy. Heidi and Spencer are about as interesting and complex as sawdust as those repetitive Dick and Jane stories, so why not use them in an updated version?

There could be several volumes, maybe even one devoted exclusively to holidays: Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, Independence Day, Mother's Day, Halloween, National Gun Day, you name it. Kids would love it! Since Heidi claims to be such a devoted Bible thumper, perhaps they could even create a Christian version of the story to go along with the Christian album she wants to record. So much fun with Heidi and Spencer!

words and pictures by galleryoftheabsurd