Anyone seen Pete Doherty?
Not only was the junkie rocker absent from a solo gig in France on Thursday night, but he failed to show up to the 30th birthday bash of best mate Carl Barat in London - although a look-alike in a porkie pie hat was fooling a few people.
But what a shindig the party animal missed...
A reveller at the plush Pigale club, in Piccadilly told us: "Carl's pals had a jazz player perform Kylie hits when he arrived. And Sadie Frost and Jodie Harsh went mad on the dancefloor. A cake fight ensued that had everyone in stitches."
Meanwhile Paris went potty searching for Pete.
Excuses offered to his fans at Paris's Rex Theatre at 11.30pm, two hours after he was scheduled to play, included he was left stranded for five hours on a broken Eurostar train.
But one angry fan said: "I was on the 4.25pm that got into Gard Du Nord at 7.50pm and experienced no problems at all." Over to you, PD.