Maddy (waffle_party) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

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BREAKING NEWS: Papa Joe is a Creeper

It's no secret Joe Simpson loves money almost as much as his daughter's breasts. He'll do whatever it takes to get his hands on it. He let Pete Wentz shotgun wed Ashlee, and now he's pressuring Tony Romo into proposing to Jessica. Of course, if Tony's not ready for that commitment, Joe's a generous guy and will settle for managing Tony's contract with the Cowboys. I mean, it's only worth $67 mil. Pfft. Pocket change. Us Weekly reports on Joe's shenigans:

"A source tells Us Joe asked Romo, 28, to drop his agent so he could take over his NFL career and $67.5 million contract.
He even offered to broker a deal to sell his engagement and wedding to a magazine should Romo and Jessica, 27, get engaged. "'If you guys have a marriage, I can do the same [sell it] that I did with Ashlee,'" a source quotes him as saying."

Joe Simpson must walk around his house squeezing his daughters' mammaries while saying "Cha-ching." Actually, I know he does. Wanna know how? Joe sold me the exclusive story for ten bucks and a pic of Christina Aguilera's cleavage. I gotta admit: the man can bargain. My initial offer was a half-eaten donut and a lingerie ad from today's paper. That's when he pulled the gun...

NOTE: Why is Tony Romo hiding his face in every single shot? Oh, wait, he's had sex with Jessica Simpson. Never mind!


Oh Papa Joe.... please be more creepy THANKS
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