Ø LIBERTINE! (yourturntoburn) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,

I didn't see this posted and thought it was interesting...

I was looking around thesmokinggun.com and I came across a feature on Mariah Carey they had. Apparently, they found some discarded fan letters, and decided to distribute a few of them.

In this letter, the whole time I pictured the "Hello my future girlfriend, this is what I sound like" kid writing this.

Letter #1
When you hit that high note I get a boner, the size of Florida. That was strictly a compliment, Mariah. :)
I've heard that you were Mexican, Puetorican, and even Black. - Yeah, those Puetoricans - they're crazy.

Letter #2
Mebe if you want you could be my pen-pal. I could use a friend.
I'm here cause of coke, but I'm learning to be a mason. I also go to NA & AA and Bible study. and GED classes well anyway take care.

Letter #3
I got about halfway through this one and couldn't take the extreme misue/overuse of quotation marks.

Letter #4
The best I've ever gotten at being creative is drawing smiley faces in my i's.
PPSS) Nice Adress!

Letter #5
My boyfriend and I just broke up recently and I dedicated your song "Love Takes Time" to him on the radio. That song is so perfect. Well it did 'bring up back together, but only as friends. blah blah blah blah - If I don't care about your relationship status, what makes you think Mariah Carey does?

Why are there so many weirdos in the world?

Edit: Fixed the mistakes.
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