Imagine it's Jan. 1, 2010, and a psychic has laid out the following music predictions for the year:
--Ke$ha, the self-proclaimed "sick and sexified" singer of "TiK ToK," will not fade into obscurity. Instead, she'll release two albums and rack up three more Billboard Hot 100 top 10s before the year is up, the last of which will debut at No. 1
--Lady Gaga will wear a meat dress, flip the bird at Yankee Stadium and pull rosary beads out of her mouth, but none of this will be as entertaining or successful as her music.
--"Biebermania" will not only show no sign of letting up, it will also afflict the Recording Academy, which will nominate the teen phenom for a best new artist Grammy Award.
--The cast of Fox's hit musical series "Glee" will surpass the Beatles' record for most appearances by a non-solo act on the Hot 100.
--B.o.B, a rapper who sings and plays guitar, and Bruno Mars, a Hawaiian who specializes in modern-day doo-wop, will help each other become famous with a tenderhearted duet.
--A 12-year-old Oklahoma boy will sign with Lady Gaga's management after performing "Paparazzi" at his school's talent show. Meanwhile, a 10-year-old "America's Got Talent" finalist will take her operatic seasonal EP to No. 2 on the Billboard 200, and another 10-year-old will have grown women whipping their hair back and forth.
--A song about a mythical private jet will hit No. 1 and gift us with the year's best new party terminology: slizzard.
--Only one rock band will reach the Hot 100 top 10 -- Train, with "Hey, Soul Sister." In a year when some of the music industry's few remaining presumptions, such as "digital sales will keep growing" and "tours can withstand a weak economy," were subverted, no one can be blamed for not foreseeing all the ways in which pop music would take over the marketplace. But a takeover it was.
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BillboardI honestly love that America is embracing pop and I hope this never ends