chapel_noir (chapel_noir) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
chapel_noir
chapel_noir
ohnotheydidnt

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I'll keep you by my side with my super human might Jessica!

Jessica Simpson -- Giants' secret weapon, Cowboys' Kryptonite?




If you believe the frothing masses in Dallas, pop singer Jessica Simpson has done to Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo what the Giants' defense couldn't do. She's the Kryptonite girlfriend. The Stopper.



The Cowboys are 13-3 but just 1-2 since Romo's and Simpson's romance became public.
And that was before the little minx and Pigskin Nut was blamed for luring Romo and a few teammates to Cancun last weekend during the Cowboys' three-day, bye week break while those clean-living Giants emerged from the swamps of Jersey cloister they've been sequestered in, then pounded the Bucs in their playoff opener.

We'll get to the Giants' much-improved defense in a second. But first, this:

Can anyone tell me what has happened to the American Male? It's not just the alleged taming of Romo. There are all those E.D. ads during football games with guys suddenly 'fessing up to all these awful ailments ("weak stream" ... "constant going"? Ewww! Who knew?!) and those other commercials showing poor saps who take a pill and are suddenly doing things they wouldn't have been caught dead doing before. Walking in a farm field with the missus swinging a freaking picnic basket? Horseback riding? Kayaking and bicycling together (just the guys) and giddily exchanging group high-fives as if they've been inhaling laughing gas? I'm worried. Very worried.

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? What have you done with America's real men?

Give them back.

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If they lose, do you think he'll cry again?
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