10. Brandon Lee's Death: Uncut - THE CROW (1994)
For years many people thought Lee's untimely death while making THE CROW was included in the film, unedited. He took a fatal shot from a bullet fragment lodged in a gun chamber that was supposed to shoot blanks. The scene was filmed but never witnessed by anyone other than investigators and possibly family. The actual scene in the final movie was redone with a double and drastically changed. Lee's face was digitally added when needed with permission from his mother and fiancé.
9. Simba's Sex Ed - THE LION KING (1994)
A depressed Simba flops himself on the edge of a cliff and out pops a cloud of dust that apparently says "SEX". You can argue it all you want, it has to say something. Dust doesn't just take shape like that without a purpose. So if it isn't S-E-X, what is it? Just what is Simba thinking? In a related note, there's a deleted scene on the DVD that shows Simba humping the living hell out of Nala right after this moment. No, no there isn't.
8. Penis Palace - THE LITTLE MERMAID (1989)
That's quite the golden shaft above your head there Ariel. As soon as this was discovered rumours started circulating about a disgruntled Disney animator who was about to be laid-off. He took out his anger by drawing this shiniest of dildos sitting high and in center of the VHS release. Turns out the guy didn't even work at Disney and had no idea he had drawn such a rigid prick until someone at his church asked him why he did it. There's nothing like subliminal penis art to make a name for yourself at church.
7. And the Winner Isn't...
Hilarious if only for the amount of stupidity it would take for this to actually be true. Because it was such a surprising upset, people say Jack Palance read the wrong name when he announced Marisa Tomei as the winner of 1992 Best Supporting Actress Award. They back it up by saying it was because Palance was drunk and high. Awesome. The Academy says it has officials in place to take care of such a mistake. But what if those guys are drunk and high too? Jack Palance should announce every winner until they all f*ck it up. Scratch that. He's dead.
6. 3 Men and a Dead Kid - THREE MEN AND A BABY (1987)
Some little kid killed himself in the house that was eventually used to film THREE MEN AND A BABY. The ghost of the kid shows up in a window as Ted Danson is shooting a scene with Celeste Holm and Baby. This would all be creepy cool if any of it was true. Turns out the movie was shot on a Toronto soundstage that has yet to host a suicide and the figure in the window is a cardboard cut-out of Danson's character, Jack. No ghost, nobody killed themselves, and Ted's wearing a wig.
5. Priest Prick - THE LITTLE MERMAID (1989)
As if the giant cock pillar (see #8) wasn't enough to torment kids, now they have Ministers performing a service rock hard. Just as the wedding bells begin to chime we get what looks like the Master of Ceremonies sprouting wood at the bride. It's actually supposed to be his knee but looking at the remastered version on the right above, you know somebody realized they f*cked up huge. Nice hat.
4. Jamie Lee's Wee Wee?
Was Jamie Lee Curtis born with both sexual organs? Who gives a f*ck, look at her. I've heard this for years and the only proof anyone ever comes up with is that she has a unisex name (in case the operation went wrong) and has adopted her kids. Personally, it just doesn't matter if it is true. She's one of my all-time favourite actresses and helped make the greatest horror movie ever made as unforgettable as a movie can get. And she was hot as hell in TRADING PLACES and TRUE LIES. There, I said it.
3. Jessica's Cootchie - WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? (1988)
If I was an animator I'd do this shit all the time. It just gets funnier every time I write another one. When Jessica Rabbit gets thrown from a cab and goes rolling down a hill, somebody forgot to give her panties and she flashes her carpet. I don't care what you say - that's crotch right there. The region was covered up in later editions of the film but the damage was already done and this laserdisc was made into an instant collector's item.
2. The Hanging Munchkin - THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
First thing's first. Go watch the scene in question right here. For years fans of the OZ have argued that there's a little person committing suicide in the background of that scene. Is it just me or is that one of the most ridiculous things you've ever heard? It's obviously a bird right? How someone can mistake a giant bird spreading it's wing for a swinging Munchkin is beyond me. Add the fact that the actors are 12 feet away and don't miss a f*cking beat as they skip down the road as some poor little dude hangs himself right in front of them tells me one thing. It's a bird. Stop it, all of you.
1. C-3PO's Crank
The first time I saw that image above I literally laughed for hours. How can something so awesome exist? Lucas' camp blames it on lighting tricks and falling parts. I blame it on everything that's right with the world. If you can look at this and not struggle to keep your head from exploding with laughter I feel sorry for you. This card should be worth more than Jordan's rookie.
Part One: http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=16945
Part Two: http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=16946