Andi (pumkinbutter) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
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ohnotheydidnt

Emma Thompson: 'Female sexual pleasure is often actively discouraged'


While promoting her new film “Good Luck to You, Leo Grande”, Emma Thompson discussed how “nobody cares” if women are sexually pleasured.

“I’ve always been interested in the sort of ostracization really of sexual sort of matters. We don’t talk about it nearly enough,” Thompson said. “And female sexual pleasure is not on the top of anybody’s list.”

“In the cultures that we live in, across the globe actually, the religious and patriarchal structures that we live in, female sexual pleasure is often actively discouraged,” the 63-year-old continued.

Her new film is about a widow who hires a sex worker for a night in hopes of having her first orgasm.

“It’s terribly difficult for her to identify what she wants because no one asks women what they want, and they don’t ask themselves what they want, and when they do, they don’t know because it’s never been something they’ve been encouraged to consider,” the actress explained.
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Tags: british celebrities, sexism, sexy
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pikapika217

pikapika217

June 23 2022, 01:56:30 UTC 2 days ago

I saw an insta ad for this and it looked really interesting! Also, her character has good taste because that man is FINE AF
doubtmars

doubtmars

June 23 2022, 02:28:26 UTC 2 days ago

HE IS!!
therearewords

therearewords

June 23 2022, 10:25:21 UTC 1 day ago

Where are the visuals aides, pika?
pikapika217

pikapika217

June 23 2022, 13:28:48 UTC 1 day ago

Here you go BB:



https://fr.web.img3.acsta.net/pictures/22/04/27/10/17/5912136.jpg

Daryl McCormack
therearewords

therearewords

1 day ago

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gloeden2

gloeden2

June 23 2022, 14:43:39 UTC 1 day ago

I find it... interesting...that no one is questioning if this film deals with the fact that a young Black man is the sex worker, in a film entirely centered on pleasuring and enlightening an older White woman.
Maybe the film goes there, I hope so.
But I feel like this obvious call for an intersectional conversation has been subsumed.
pikapika217

pikapika217

1 day ago

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ginainabottle

ginainabottle

June 23 2022, 15:20:19 UTC 1 day ago

It's a great film, Emma is absolutely phenomenal and it deals with questions of sexuality/sexual repression very well. The actor is also very good, his character is incredibly charming and endearing in a way that doesn't feel forced or unrealistic (even tho it clearly is bc he's obviously too good to be true lol)
yurasama_love

yurasama_love

June 23 2022, 02:05:17 UTC 2 days ago

I really like the trailer for this. I could empathize with Emma Thompson's character, even though I'm not a 55 year old widow who's only ever had one boring partner.
gillenvillain

gillenvillain

June 23 2022, 02:18:52 UTC 2 days ago

Only one guy has ever given me the Gasm.

All the rest were wonderfully self inflicted. ;D
euraylie

euraylie

June 23 2022, 03:13:03 UTC 2 days ago

Same! Luckily it’s my current and long-term partner
xellabelle

xellabelle

June 23 2022, 02:11:10 UTC 2 days ago

Coming in here to say that my mother started watching this movie thinking it was about a mother and her adopted son
wistfulwisp

wistfulwisp

June 23 2022, 03:43:44 UTC 2 days ago

Nooooooooo lmao
my_moloko

my_moloko

June 23 2022, 04:10:07 UTC 2 days ago

Did she turn it off or did she keep watching?
xellabelle

xellabelle

June 23 2022, 04:27:40 UTC 2 days ago

No she didn’t, I think she skipped to the end “just to check the entire film is about this” and concluded the movie was too shocking for her as she knows Emma Thompson mainly from Sense and Sensibility but that Leo Grande was a “rather attractive and muscular young man” lmao
my_moloko

my_moloko

2 days ago

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xellabelle

xellabelle

2 days ago

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my_moloko

my_moloko

1 day ago

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xellabelle

xellabelle

1 day ago

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mathkills

mathkills

1 day ago

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itsme_eloise

itsme_eloise

June 23 2022, 02:12:35 UTC 2 days ago

she's not wrong
analievelyn

analievelyn

June 23 2022, 02:14:13 UTC 2 days ago

I'm so bummed that she is wearing a fat suit in the new matilda film.

she should know better
theactualworst

theactualworst

June 23 2022, 13:54:35 UTC 1 day ago

She wore a fat suit in Love Actually too and idgi at all.
wonheaux

wonheaux

June 23 2022, 02:17:12 UTC 2 days ago

she's right, but also...

how stella got her groove back's impact!!!!!
la_petite_singe

la_petite_singe

June 23 2022, 02:19:02 UTC 2 days ago

She's right yet again. Never forget that the studio wanted to cut parts of the consensual sex scene in Boys Don't Cry bc Chloe Sevigny has an orgasm, but they were fine with the violent gang-rape scene. 🖕🖕🖕🖕
genbu_no_miko24

genbu_no_miko24

June 23 2022, 02:44:06 UTC 2 days ago Edited:  June 23 2022, 02:44:41 UTC

I remember Blue Valentine having a rating issue because Ryan Gosling’s character goes down on Michelle Williams. I think they wanted to give it NC-17 just for that lol.
cassismagic

cassismagic

June 23 2022, 03:39:00 UTC 2 days ago

they did give it a NC-17. it made it really hard to find a theatre showing it and it was only because he gave her an orgasm. It wasn't even remotely graphic in ANY WAY. No nudity. Just a head under a dress
genbu_no_miko24

genbu_no_miko24

2 days ago

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my_moloko

my_moloko

June 23 2022, 04:10:55 UTC 2 days ago

Yep! Still makes me angry. And I appreciated Ryan calling it out as well.
headcaseheidi

headcaseheidi

June 23 2022, 06:04:56 UTC 1 day ago

the cishet male execs don’t want the women in their lives to start getting any ideas tbh
mystic_kiwi

mystic_kiwi

June 23 2022, 02:21:02 UTC 2 days ago

When I was a teen in the early 2000s I remember the messaging I got being "you think you want sex now as a hormonal teenager, but you absolutely should not have it! When you are an adult woman obviously having sex with a man, you will lay back and take it because you love him, but you're not really gonna like it."

I'm glad when I grew up I worked to expand my horizons and realize how bs that is. I hope that the culture has started shifting away from that too, even though I know sex ed in America is still a damn mess.
trowa

trowa

June 23 2022, 02:38:26 UTC 2 days ago

it's awful how we were taught sex is something that happens TO a woman, and not something she has any agency in.
anna_drenxavier

anna_drenxavier

June 23 2022, 02:47:24 UTC 2 days ago

Yep, all I heard growing up was how it will definitely hurt the first time, and probably the next few times, too. Men aren't expected to be gentle, much less try to make it enjoyable. Nowadays, the narrative is changing to tell girls that it shouldn't hurt if you do it "right." The fact is that every female body is different. Lots of women find penetration painful no matter what. But I hope there is a continued effort to teach guys that they should GAF about how their partner is feeling, and try to make it good for her.

(Obvious side note: regardless of how much sex education improves, porn only continues to make this problem worse.)
likeanunmadebed

likeanunmadebed

June 23 2022, 03:05:11 UTC 2 days ago

my gym teacher told our class during "health week" that the tearing of the hymen was like a pen stabbing through some plastic wrap

we were all traumatized
anna_drenxavier

anna_drenxavier

2 days ago

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likeanunmadebed

likeanunmadebed

1 day ago

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cassismagic

cassismagic

2 days ago

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genbu_no_miko24

genbu_no_miko24

2 days ago

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cassismagic

cassismagic

2 days ago

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theactualworst

theactualworst

1 day ago

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likeanunmadebed

likeanunmadebed

1 day ago

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my_moloko

my_moloko

June 23 2022, 04:12:02 UTC 2 days ago

Yep. That was the messaging I basically got. A lot of it was about how to say no but there was no sense that a teenage girl would actually want to have sense so for me, having a high sex drive made me feel like a freak.
theactualworst

theactualworst

June 23 2022, 13:59:01 UTC 1 day ago Edited:  June 23 2022, 14:00:55 UTC

I grew up in the US but close enough to Canada so I could get some of their TV and radio stations and I was able to pick up Love Line after 10 pm on the Canadian radio station The Edge and that pretty much taught me about sex and orgasms. I was raised Catholic so no one else was gonna teach me lol. Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla are problematic af but I’m still grateful for how much they propped up female orgasms and female masturbation.

It really empowered me and when I lost my virginity I did it as a one night stand with a man who had no clue because I didn’t want to give him any agency over it. I wanted it to just be about me choosing it.
ginainabottle

ginainabottle

June 23 2022, 15:24:36 UTC 1 day ago

Yeah, I've met so many women who hated sex simply bc it was never about them/what they wanted and that was so normalized. I'm so fucking thankful that sex was never really a taboo in my house, yet even tho grew up in a sex positive environment I didn't really start having great sex until my late 20s.
lolzerz

lolzerz

June 23 2022, 02:27:55 UTC 2 days ago

its so funny how all the relationship advice from men on reddit is 'hAvE yOu TrIeD TaLkiNg tO HiM???'. like yes, literally all women do is communicate. men just don't listen.
trowa

trowa

June 23 2022, 08:36:13 UTC 1 day ago

I've found when they say 'hAvE yOu TrIeD TaLkiNg tO HiM???', they really mean 'LISTEN TO ME AND AGREE WITH WHATEVER I SAY!!!'
xaristotlex

xaristotlex

June 23 2022, 13:45:19 UTC 1 day ago

yeah, on most topics it's painfully obvious which commenters are men. they also love to say that lazy men who mooch off their wives/gfs are just depressed so it's really women's fault for not being supportive of his mental health
beaucadeau

beaucadeau

June 23 2022, 02:29:04 UTC 2 days ago

she's not wrong and tbh there's this sick concatenation between how we talk about female sexuality and all the body image issues that are peddled out
johnjie

johnjie

June 23 2022, 03:07:50 UTC 2 days ago Edited:  June 23 2022, 03:08:24 UTC

So true, women are encouraged much more to look and act ‘sexy’ than they are to get acquainted with what they actually like. Kind of like how all female pop stars who ‘reclaim their sexuality’ just dress sexually provocatively, which is far more about being looked at than them looking
beaucadeau

beaucadeau

June 23 2022, 03:19:57 UTC 2 days ago

it's almost like ~empowerment and reclamation politics are mostly garbage
my_moloko

my_moloko

June 23 2022, 04:24:25 UTC 2 days ago

Women are expected be sexy so that they can be consumed like a product but actually enjoying sex and having orgasms means we have agency and they don't like it.
theactualworst

theactualworst

1 day ago

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my_moloko

my_moloko

1 day ago

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snortingcoke

snortingcoke

June 23 2022, 09:38:35 UTC 1 day ago

it's female sexuality through the male gaze
altheablue

altheablue

June 23 2022, 10:40:30 UTC 1 day ago

I'm so tired of body positivity, "everyone is beautiful" "consent is sexy" whatever. I just want to exist and have a body and find sexual pleasure whenever and however I want to without feeling like I have to think about my body shape or sexiness every moment of the day.
doubtmars

doubtmars

June 23 2022, 02:30:34 UTC 2 days ago

The film's two characters are super interesting.

Daryl McCormack is a MAN, all caps. I love the clothing they put him in lol those pleated trousers, *chef's kiss*

hardcoreninja11

hardcoreninja11

June 23 2022, 19:14:14 UTC 1 day ago

Daryl is so fucking fine. I wish he had been cast as a replacement earlier in the seasons for Peaky Blinders because there was not nearly enough of him being a broody gangster in those fab ass period suits to satisfy me. I needed more.
colorfilm

colorfilm

June 23 2022, 02:36:15 UTC 2 days ago

so true. men only gaf about their own pleasure during sex and cant be arsed to care about the womans own pleasure. lesbianism >>>>>>>
johnjie

johnjie

June 23 2022, 03:05:23 UTC 2 days ago

Or sometimes, the man will make a big deal about caring about ‘her pleasure’, but it’s all actually just an ego trip for him and if the woman doesn’t go along with pandering to his ego he’ll sulk or even take it out on her and she ends up nursing his feelings
lolzerz

lolzerz

June 23 2022, 03:25:22 UTC 2 days ago

never read anything more true
debbiesgirl

debbiesgirl

June 23 2022, 03:48:07 UTC 2 days ago Edited:  June 23 2022, 03:51:38 UTC

This. Men are so fragile. Like yeah you didn't make me cum and I'm not going to pretend otherwise just so you can feel good about yourself.
halevy

halevy

June 23 2022, 03:49:29 UTC 2 days ago

lol my ex said he cared about my pleasure

boy didn't like to eat me out (he'd never gone down on a woman until me) and never once made me orgasm! my vibrators do that.
jgedlittlepill0

jgedlittlepill0

June 23 2022, 04:02:45 UTC 2 days ago

fucccckkk. this comment is too real.
lalapisani

lalapisani

June 23 2022, 09:38:21 UTC 1 day ago

Gosh so so true
rubie_dubidoux

rubie_dubidoux

1 day ago

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suzycat

suzycat

June 23 2022, 06:58:29 UTC 1 day ago

Ironically men trained in the 70s and 80s are far more likely to be focused on giving you an orgasm, because they had very soft porn and a "ladies first" mantra. Of course there were always the ones who got annoyed with you when what they were doing didn't work. BUt others, very fine.
cosmic_starz

cosmic_starz

June 24 2022, 01:09:07 UTC 1 day ago

This is pretty generalizing. Or maybe I've just been lucky and have been with men who put my pleasure into consideration first.. idk but there are some good men out there who know how to be selfless.
felixfin

felixfin

June 23 2022, 02:45:44 UTC 2 days ago

So true, as evidenced by all the movies showing sexual assault but rarely ever a women having an orgasm.
Wasn't there a huge kerfuffle with movie ratings when Blue Valentine showed a guy going down on a women?
my_moloko

my_moloko

June 23 2022, 04:25:40 UTC 2 days ago

Yep. A woman having an orgasm gets an NC-17 rating but we can watch people get raped and killed with just an R rating.
gorlplz

gorlplz

June 23 2022, 02:48:28 UTC 2 days ago

this heffa got a lil too close to my husband, if i ever find ha in these streets istg

johnjie

johnjie

June 23 2022, 02:55:58 UTC 2 days ago Edited:  June 23 2022, 03:01:50 UTC

This is so true, especially that (paraphrased) statement ‘nobody asks women what they want sexually and furthermore, that question is so taboo that many women have never considered it seriously’

I guess what I’m thinking about is how women are encouraged to cater to the male gaze, and perform all these time consuming, sometimes painful beauty rituals so they’ll look ‘sexy’ and ignore their physical discomfort then and when it’s to please men in bed (including that myth that first time PIV is ALWAYS painful and will make you bleed when so often it can be a sign of nerves/not being turned on enough!).
But then, for a lot of women, there’s no point where they’re asking themselves ‘but is he sexy to me? Is what he’s doing making me feel good? Or is he just masturbating with my body?’.

In a more minor way but related to this, it also reminds me of how people pressure women to date men they’re not attracted to because ‘he’s a nice guy’ or ‘but he’s so funny!’ or ‘just give him a chance!’. But nobody would dream of telling a man to just disregard whether or not he finds a woman attractive when it comes to being with her.

Idk, I just think women are encouraged to objectify themselves in service of men and that includes in dating and sexual situations.
cassismagic

cassismagic

June 23 2022, 03:45:11 UTC 2 days ago

Is what he’s doing making me feel good? Or is he just masturbating with my body?’.

Ugh, trying to explain this to people is so hard. Casual sex is something I'm so not into for exactly this reason. Once you become aware of it, you can't unsee it and it's really NOT FUN
my_moloko

my_moloko

June 23 2022, 04:27:47 UTC 2 days ago

Yep. There's actually a scene in the movie where Emma's character describes what sex with her husband was like and it basically just sounds like he used her as a human fleshlight. It's so sad, especially knowing how common it is.

I simply don't tolerate bad sex. There is so much good sex to be had, even from comments on here I often wonder just what people are dealing with when they talk about how terrible it is. Raise your standards, people!
headcaseheidi

headcaseheidi

June 23 2022, 06:08:13 UTC 1 day ago

people pressure women to date men they’re not attracted to because ‘he’s a nice guy’ or ‘but he’s so funny!’ or ‘just give him a chance!’. But nobody would dream of telling a man to just disregard whether or not he finds a woman attractive

bloop
trowa

trowa

June 23 2022, 08:56:06 UTC 1 day ago

you often see ugly basic men with attractive women, but you rarely see the opposite. You don't even see wealthy ugly women with young attractive arm trophy.
ginainabottle

ginainabottle

June 23 2022, 15:51:28 UTC 1 day ago

it also reminds me of how people pressure women to date men they’re not attracted to because ‘he’s a nice guy’ or ‘but he’s so funny!’ or ‘just give him a chance!’. But nobody would dream of telling a man to just disregard whether or not he finds a woman attractive when it comes to being with her.

HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING YES. And when I point this out people tell me the solution isn't to 'be like men, you have to be better than them'. Nope, I just wanna fuck someone I find attractive, period, and I encourage all my friends to do the same. I absolutely do not give a fuck about anyone who thinks that's shallow, my pussy is not an NGO.
readmymiind

readmymiind

June 24 2022, 03:08:34 UTC 1 day ago

"In a more minor way but related to this, it also reminds me of how people pressure women to date men they’re not attracted to because ‘he’s a nice guy’ or ‘but he’s so funny!’ or ‘just give him a chance!’. But nobody would dream of telling a man to just disregard whether or not he finds a woman attractive when it comes to being with her."

THIIIIIIS
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