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ONTD University Original: IT'S FINALS WEEK.... AND THIS IS A SURPRISE ONTD CULTURE QUIZ!!!



FINALS WEEK IS HERE YOU MORONS!!!! And this post is to test your knowledge of ONTD Culture. If you've been an ONTDer for a while and have attended classes at this ivy league school, you'll be able to easily answer the following exam.



QUESTION 1:
You're the child of a polyamouros relationship of five gay men. All 5 of them have been together for +20 years. One day you arrive home and see that an unknown person, drenched in blood, and holding a gun, is fleeing your family's house. You run to the door and see the scene...what do you say?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]

ONTD History: Sadly, this legendary post got deleted but screencap'd for eternity. Someone was lamenting that everyone in a movie was dEad, but their E key wasnt working, or it was autocorrecting to dad, so they were saying "dad was dad, mom was dad, everyone was dad" like that.



QUESTION 2:
Your old professor that looks like Nicolas Cage asks you to go on a National Treasure-like quest with him. He offers to pay for everything, as long as you read to him some old scrolls since his sight is not well... what do you tell him?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]

ONTD History: Of course, you tell him you're an ONTDer... you don't know how to read! but you do do age math like a champ, so you know that he's 30 years older than you and a creep. And that he wants to take you somewhere else for some nasty stuff, so you say how much do you pay no way.



QUESTION 3:
You go all the way to AOHHSTREEEILLIAAAA to visit some old relatives. They seem nice, just a bit weird. While you're having dinner you think the bread is great and tasty, so you ask "This tastes so good, i love it... what's in this bread?"... what do they answer?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]

ONTD History: Yep, your family host that creepy radio show.



QUESTION 4:
You're a sleepwalker and the night before you had a nightmare of Chris Pratt running after you with a cross to make sure you go to conversion therapy. You run through your house, but being the dumb idiot that you are, you tripped and broke the coffee table. The next morning your mom says 'OK. TIME TO COME CLEAN...WHO DID THIS?!' ... what do you say?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]

ONTD History: While everyone was sad because of Alan Rickman's death an ONTD user revealed the beautiful quote everyone was using was actually something she made up for tumblr a few years ago. She had the receipts and that shit escalated so quickly they were selling shirts about it and posting it to imdb.



QUESTION 5:
You're an otherkin and identify as a bee. You've just seen 'Wild Mountain Thyme' and feel empowered to come out and marry your other bee-otherkin partner. But your family refuses.... Why do you think that is?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]
ONTD History: A normal romcom set in Scotland takes an awkward twist when the romantic male lead reveals he can't. be with her because he actually wants to be a BEE. Yep. That kind of BEE. As in the animal that makes honey. So ONTD cackles to no end. My all time favorite comment may be the 'BEEGOTRY' line.




QUESTION 6:
You've been friends with Henry Cavill since you were kids, you grew up, and always had that special connection, you became adults and kept being very close but you never made your move cause you think offering to suck the cum out of his humongous white and hairy dick it will hurt your friendship. and just when you're about to, he starts dating Kaley Cuoco. They go on mall runs together and everything, while you eat and entire Toblerone sobbing on your living room. Then you get a Dexmoi notification revealing that they've broken up... What's the first thing that comes to your mind?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]
ONTD History: A regular post about Supergirl divorcing her husband (who we later found out was an abusive piece of shit) gave us one of the few phrases that round up ONTD's sentiment about everything.



QUESTION 7:
You're casually walking with your friend through the park and you hear some weird sounds coming through the bushes, and then you see Taron Egerton and Jonathan Bailey rawdogging each other in the park right after they did their Cock play ...what do you say to your friend?!

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]
ONTD History: Rodrigo became an official part of ONTD after being the designated papz for Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas.



QUESTION 8:
You haven't had sex in 27 years so you decide to go to a bar, meet a cute guy and have random casual sex, cause you're a sex positive ONTDer!... and then... you see your crush! you say hi, you get flirty, you both have a bit too much to drink, you start to make out, finally! your dream came true, so you go to the club's bathroom to have sex with him but he can't keep it up so you say to him "I'm sending so much love and support to you...you've got this", and boom! you're pregnant ...How do you call this strange phenomena?!

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]
ONTD History: Olivia Munn has proved that no dream is too big. You just have to set your mind into it and wish REALLY REALLY HARD.



QUESTION 9:
You arrive at your home and find your friend waiting for you in the dark with a knive and your phone, she turns on the light and scares you a bit...what's the first thing she says to you?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]

ONTD History. You had it coming for talking shit about your friend, Rebeca.



QUESTION 10:
You've finished writing your thesis for your master's degree... and now you have to source your entries. Which one do you use?

ANSWER:
[Spoiler (click to open)]
ONTD History: Both answers are acceptable. The original or it's spiritual successor.




Sadly, if you score under 5. YOU WILL BE EXPELLED FROM ONTD U and will be forced to read this post again once it's stolen by buzzfeed.

Source: Link is in the answers for every Q.
Tags: not today satan, ontd original, who asked for this
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Shiiiiit. Pop quiz on a Friday night??



I thought Question 1 was going to ask Hollyhock from Bojack Horseman's entire last name after reading the first few words, but boy was I wrong. Also she had 8 dads.
excuse me but ONTD students can't read, so how am i supposed to take this quiz if i can't even read the questions?

is that the catch? if you answer the questions it's 'cause you know how to read so you fail immediately???
Omg I FINALLY know what this is from!! Wee-Bey from The Wire!

Never gets old!🤣
Sounds like ONTD-ception.
you're now a professor

friarsfire

1 week ago

I just want to thank op (from now on known as 'The merciful') for not including anything related to the 'Eli Roth incident'
Should have been an extra credit question tbh
I hate you
you'll be hearing from my lawyer (who is me bc I graduated with my law degree from ONTD university) for emotional damages for making me look at this!
Just had the locked and loaded ready to post, huh?
i like that he at least put in the full stops to indicate it's an acronym. that's effort.
WHY SO HAIRY UGH
I was waiting for it tbh
Yeah I was thinking “the next one is going to be about Eli Roth omg” every time. Maybe that’s what OP wanted…didn’t even have to mention it lmao
i honestly don’t understand what happened and i don’t think i want to.
That was a "I remember where I was" moment in my life.

malorn

1 week ago

lmao we've been cursed enough honestly
No Fam, it was

The classic of classics

Brilliant post, OP

moonsenorita

May 14 2022, 03:31:22 UTC 1 week ago Edited:  May 14 2022, 05:50:18 UTC

thought #1 was going to be a take on this
[Spoiler (click to open)]
But OP's was much more clever, lol

thought #2 was going to be a [Spoiler (click to open)]lens-crafters joke

thought #7 was a throwback to [Spoiler (click to open)]#4 of this post, https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/118021044.html by OP. it's the one where the user posts a dick pic in the first comment in a Kanye post

Well I got under 5, because I thought 3 of them were other references 😂
I thought number 6 was "THE HORSES SUFFER" 😔

But I got 7! (not sure if I'm proud of that or if I should relfect on my life)
God-tier post. Ngl though, I was definitely waiting for an "I know, bitch. I was watching."
I was waiting for "you probably got your shoes from Ross!" lol
God that story is iconic. Didn’t one user have him as their LJ icon for a bit?

progression

1 week ago

deeohaytch

1 week ago

shahrazade_bard

1 week ago

likeanunmadebed

1 week ago

tralexora

1 week ago

Me tooooo!!
Same, I thought #7 would be it.

shahrazade_bard

1 week ago

rebeljean

1 week ago

I guessed that response for like 2 questions. Even for ones that didn’t make sense I was nervous.
lmao that was my guess for #7!
that was my guess for the rebecca one, lol
I was waiting for "It's just a fact!" which is still my quintessential ONTD quote. Pretty sure that makes me a great-grandma in ONTD time.
I guessed that for question 7 haha
This is my attitude towards almost everything.
So I only got one question right. Therefore, I will be expelled.

Can I get my tuition money back, though? Cancel that student loan? Taken off the alumni donation list?
Sorry, we already spend it to pay off the lunch lady who was threatening to unionize.
no refunds if you paid tuition (a paid lj account) with bitcoin
I'm not reading all these questions. Is the Taylor Swift fan who was fucking her professor who was married with kids while living with them on the exam?
Alas, no.
...and that's the thing about illicit affairs-- they rarely appear on quizzes.

Only finals.

arabian

1 week ago

cassismagic

1 week ago

...I just fucking love all of you.
Also, I've been on this site way too long 😂
FML I'd forgotten about bum yeast... thanks OP!!

But "beegotry" is a classic, I still think about that randomly and start giggling to myself like a weirdo.
ME TOO (re: bum yeast). I'm impressed my brain managed to block that out but I'm sure it's going to be imprinted forever now. In fifty years, when I can't even remember my own name anymore, some poor hospice worker is going to be changing my diaper and I'm going to be yelling at them "don't try to make bread with that!!!".
Omg lmaoooo.

If it gives you some peace. That only happens in Australian homes.

buries

1 week ago

flawed_x_design

1 week ago

I actually shocked myself, I had no idea what the answer was for a second and then suddenly I said "bum yeast" out loud. Thank GOD there was no one around 😂
beegotry is legit one of favorite things that's ever happened here
ilu sandstorm


I only got 5,8, and 9 lol!!
I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but you find me upstairs reading a Playdude. What do you do? What DOOO you do?
Professor Winfrey looks so stern!!!!
I heard she gives you gifts at the end of the semester.
yeah but if she doesn't like a class, she might give them all bees

artlover2788

1 week ago

artlover2788

1 week ago

artlover2788

1 week ago

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