leenerific (leenerific) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
leenerific
leenerific
ohnotheydidnt

Hayden Panettiere reunites with abuser ex Brian Hickerson



Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh that's not a good idea. And the fact he went running to the media to confirm?

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Tags: hayden panettiere, prayer circle, you in danger
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this is sad
this breaks my heart honestly. I’m hoping she’s able to cut this loser out of her life soon
:(
This and Mia Goth going back to Shia. It's not entertainment, it's just so heartbreaking.
This won't end well.
I was hoping this was to help her heal, but it seems more to help him.

Hope she doesn't get back back with him.
Absolutely heartbreaking. It's so hard to leave an abusive relationship. I hope she has family looking out for her.
The article mentions that it’s not a relationship but more a friendship.

://///
I can't think of any therapist or form of therapy in the world that would tell an abuser fresh out of jail to make amends with his victim in a social setting while consuming alcohol, especially when his victim has a five year restraining order against him.
I could see the encouragement to make amends to forgive oneself but idk about in this fashion either.
Exactly. Why in the world would you put an abuser back in contact with their victim (even in a non-alcoholic setting) as the first step? It's problematic enough as a later step, but first? They have done no work on themselves at that point so why would you point them back at their victim?
this breaks my heart. I hope her family keeps trying to help her and are there for her.
This is so sad for her and her kid.

I wonder if she has friends left that she hasn't pushed away
My stomach dropped reading this headline and reading the article only made it worse. He's covering all the obvious bases for two people in an abusive relationship who don't want it known they are together again and drinking again.
Abusers rarely change, and the fact that he made a thing of this publicly is... not giving me hope that he's in that minority. Also seriously side-eyeing E! for giving him a platform to do this. This isn't some fluffy gossip tidbit.
Oh girl, no.

It’s hard, so hard, to leave abusive men. My younger sister went around and around with her first child’s father for years and it got to a point where we couldn’t say nothing to her because she’d freeze us out. It was better to stay in contact, so she could come to us, and tolerate him than to let her push us away, but it always felt like we were enabling.

Anyway, she left for good, eventually, and is one marriage and four kids deep with her high school boyfriend so it worked out (even if I think that’s an excessive number of kids, lol) but it taught me a lot about abuse and how people cope that I didn’t even begin to fathom a decade ago. I’m a lot more sympathetic to the pain and confusion and fear these women go to, what goes into the choice to go back, and why the people close to them seem to be doing nothing. It’s just…hard.

(Sorry for all this rambling, I should save this nonsense for a shrink, probably, not the internet)
No. Thank you for your share! Part of what feeds into all of this is that those on the outside feel like their hands are tied and get frustrated and don’t know what to do. I think we need to talk about that too. About how hard it is to love someone we can’t fix or make do what we want. And how hard it is when abuse is at play because you are right about getting frozen out and the victim needing to be less isolated. And that’s so hard. It’s so messy all the way around and idk why we don’t talk about that too.

I’m glad you shared it and I’m glad that she is finally out.
My younger sister went around and around with her first child’s father for years and it got to a point where we couldn’t say nothing to her because she’d freeze us out. It was better to stay in contact, so she could come to us, and tolerate him than to let her push us away, but it always felt like we were enabling.
Going through this right now with my sister and her shithead husband. I HATE IT.
The WORST! I always said I’d kill a man who laid a hand on my sister, but instead I was sitting across from his smug, useless ass at thanksgiving because it was the only way my sister and nephew would be ‘allowed’ to attend. Wanting to knock out all his teeth but knowing if anyone so much as raised their voice in his direction it might be weeks or months before she called, let alone visited any of us.

I don’t know that it’s possible to feel more helpless. I don’t know if there’s a better way of doing things, even though I look back on it a lot. I hope your sister gets out soon (or that her husband falls down some stairs and dies. Or both! I’m hoping for both)

soft_volume

1 week ago

This. People will say "just leave", but when there's a cycle of love bombing and trauma bonding it's hard to break out of that. I'm glad that your sister was able to break free and I hope that Hayden is able to do the same.
my mom just left her abusive relationship its so hard. she says she feels bad for him and let him have her number and he was spamming her. i really hope she doesn't go back this time i hate worrying and its hard for me to see her because im always worried if she will look sad or have a bruise
Keeping her and Mia Goth in my thoughts today. I hope they both get out. :(
This is so sad :(
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