beysactingcoach (beysactingcoach) wrote in ohnotheydidnt,
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beysactingcoach
ohnotheydidnt

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Hamilton in P4 Makes Horner a Happy Bloke. It's the Formula 1 Styrian GP (ft. Marlboro) 🏎 🇦🇹🚬


Steiermark GP.jpeg




A Recap by The Moving Bricks


1st Place by 38 seconds

Marlboro F1 2005.jpeg

2nd Place

97A753BD-1C03-418A-9E2E-CEFAD529AC19_1_201_a.jpeg

Who has just recently been announced he will be staying with Mercedes-AMG Petronas through the 2023 season.

3rd Place

97A753BD-1C03-418A-9E2E-CEFAD529AC19_1_201_a.jpeg



Driver of the Day: For some reason, it was Scuderia Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc who had to pit early after a collision with AlphaTauri’s Pierre Gasly, Williams’ Nicholas Latifi, and Yuki Tsunoda. He then made his way back through the track, unlapping himself, and finishing seveth. It’s no doubt he had a great drive, but the fact that he received no penalty for colliding with Gasly is umm… do better FIA!



Well, this was unexpected
- Tires used, different from last week’s GP. Today will be C3, C4, and C5
- Fernando Alonso (Alpine, a midfield car) came in 3rd fastest in Q1. Who would thunk in that car, but then again this is Fernando Alonso, the man can drag cars to places they do not deserve to be. Unfortunately, his teammate, Esteban Ocon was knocked out of Q1.
- George Russell in a fucking Williams made it to Q3. He may have well have just said on his team radio, “Did Toto see?”
- And… … both of the Ferrari’s got knocked out of Q3, so they will be starting P11 and P12 BEHIND a Williams in 2021. But then again, they can choose the tires they start the race with, so could be possible strategy
- Alonso and Vettel are fighting again. Looks like our birthday boy may have held up Alonso on his hot lap, forcing him to slow down, which will probably result in a penalty. He didn’t mean it though Nando 🥺 (update: Vettel was hit with a 3 place grid penalty). However, Valterri Bottas who held up them up didn't received a penalty *Fernando Alonso voice* Amazing!
- Lando Norris is putting in work!!!!!!!!!! The McLaren driver went second fastest in Q3. And was on pace to take pole position, but just missed it by .04 seconds taking P2.

POLE POSITION:


And shouts out to Lando Norris (McLaren) for P2!



Here's the rest of the Grid for today:





What the fuck is a Mission Winnow? A company that will provide A Better Tomorrow

Most of us, due to OP obliterating you about Drive to Survive, may have not see some throwback F1 cars. Well, the legendary teams of the Scuderia and McLaren "used" to have Marlboro as a major sponsor, which can be seen in the following



Scuderia Ferrari's Michael Schumacher in 2005

Here…



Mika Haikkinen's McLaren MP4/11 in 1996

And here…



Fernando Alonso in the F10 in 2010 We'll get to this one in a minute lol

When exactly did Marlboro get into Formula 1?
Turns out Philip Morris International, the parent company of Marlboro, have been involved in motorsport for quite some time, first sponsoring the now-defunct F1 team, BRM. Makes sense as the sport was rising in prominence and the team already had a roster of Driver's and Constructor's Titles under their belts. If you are a huge corporation with oodles of money for advertising, you're going to give it whoever wins championships because championships breed legacy, which breeds fans and loyalty which breeds money. Notable drivers of BRM include Graham Hill (the only one to complete a motorsport Triple Crown), Niki Lauda, Sir Jackie Stewart and others. However due to constant technical failings, the team fizzled in 1974.

Then Marlboro moved onto McLaren in 1974 and kept their sponsorship until 1996. However due to anti-tobacco advertisement and sponsorship restrictions in France, the UK, and Germany starting in the late 1970s, the Philip Morris-Marlboro advertising had to get tricky. Since the aforementioned countries held Grands Prix, the Marlboro logo on the livery had to be removed, it could remain in countries where at the time where there were no such restrictions. The Marlboro logo then became a chevron like this:




If you just turn your head a bit, you can see it right? Right? Right? Say yes.


Simply just removing "Marlboro" from the livery. If countries had no such laws against tobacco advertisements, Marlboro went right back on, hunny!

While dating McLaren, Marlboro also moseyed on over to flirt with Enzo Ferarri: "Marlboro also sponsored Scuderia Ferrari's drivers since 1973 but only in 1984 became a minor sponsor on Ferrari's Formula One cars. Until then, Enzo Ferrari allowed only technical suppliers brands to appear on his team cars. In 1993, Marlboro became the main sponsor, and in 1997 became the title sponsor as the team was officially renamed as "Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro". Marlboro remained Ferrari's title sponsor until the 2011 European Grand Prix and the main sponsor until the end of the 2017 season." The recent years of the sponsorship brings Scuderia Ferrari Mission Winnow around $170 million per season.

The FIA released a regulation back in 2006 to remove all cigarette and tobacco advertisements on cars. But tobacco brings in a lot of money, PMI’s 2018 (last on record that could be verified) revenue was just of $80 billion dollars. Yes, billion, with a B, the second letter of the English alphabet, ten figures, more than what you can win on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? The thing is Big Tobacco since the early 20th century have always have their tentacles in sports, advertising and bringing in so money. However with public health sanctions, smoking rates (at least in the States) hypervigilant laws in other countries that outlawed tobacco advertising (mostly in the West), Big Tobacco is not going just wipe their hands and say,“Okay, nice working with you, so long”. With skyrocketing revenue, Philip Morris International and their 180 tobacco products need advertising to maintain a narrative, a consumer culture - basically anything that nets more money. Sports advertisements is too lucrative of a field. Despite the fact most sports/teams have since dropped all tobacco sponsors, Formula 1 and MotoGP are the only sports known to still use companies like Philip Morris International and British American Tobacco (McLaren).

Though the FIA banned tobacco advertisements, Marlboro still found its way onto the livery which anti-tobacco organizations quickly called out. Scroll back to the pic of the Fernando's F10 with a barcode... yeah, you've seen it before. Just imagine this car driving fast, you get something like - subliminal advertising and also overt advertising at its finest.




As the World Health Organization cites that there's about 8 million smoking related deaths per year and the last figure shows that around 1.1B people smoke cigarettes and with F1 being the second biggest sport in the world, there's probably some overlap. WHO wants tobacco companies to commit to producing a smoke free world but that's hard to do when you're Philip Morris and you need people to become addicted to cigarettes so you can get another yacht and buy a Picasso. But these corporations know they have a scarlet letter, so they say they are going to commit to a smoke free world too.

Philip Morris/Marlboro has engaged in something called a CSR, which stands for Corporate Social Responsibility which is well, if you think can top this oxymoron, you can never… excuse OP as she lets out her longest deep sigh into the abyss. A CSR is when a coporation self-regulates itself by “committing” to social causes that say that are for improving the good of humanity, you know like reducing smoking. And Philip Morris/Marlboro's CSR is a thing/concept/bullshit called "Mission Winnow".

Mission Winnow has the WEIRDEST social media, even for a corporation. Like it’s fucking weird. Let’s take a looksie.





Philip Morris-Marlboro is now on the Scuderia Ferrari as something called Mission Winnow or featuring an MW in a chevron design. A chevron design… oh who else has that? You get the point. What is a winnow? (And if you thought that was supposed to read Mission Win Now, you are not alone, but this is Ferrari, so it’s Mission Win Maybe in 2022). But anyway, the definition of winnow is a “blow a current of air through (grain) in order to remove the chaff.” It’s a farming technique. Mission Winnow is not a farm. On the home page their Mission Whopper is well a whole bunch of nothing, very aligned with how corporations moved their lips without saying anything in Black History Month, Pride Month, after the murder of George Floyd. It reads:

“Mission Winnow is a change lab focused on reframing conversations, sparking open debate, connecting people and supporting the realization of innovative ideas.”

Ummm… what’s a change lab? I’m so glad you asked and after reading this answer from Mission Winnow:

“In a world of perpetual change, it’s easy to assume change ‘just happens’ but this is very rarely the case – there is likely to be a problem that needs solving, a process to improve or even a societal system to reimagine. It’s the events before change happens that will dictate whether the change that is later implemented is experienced as positive, innovative, inclusive or even destructive.

So, shouldn’t we make sure that the change that’s being suggested is positive? We’d hope that the answer to this is yes, although it’s not as binary as that. Which is why we believe that there is a greater need to assemble diverse minds and opinions to converse, debate and imagine what could be and what shouldn’t be, so we can understand the differing impact ideas can have and to recognize that these ideas may be positive for some but not all, and then to establish an approach that is positively ubiquitous.
This is a change lab.”


Bitch, what?!?!?!?!?!?1

OP still does not understand it either. But don’t worry, they know they’ve inflicted irreparable damage around the world, but they are wOrKiNg to ImPrOvE it!!!!!!!! See? Positive vibes only. Basically their whole website boils down to “I’m glad we’re having this conversation, it’s time.”

“PMI is a company of over 70,000 people that has learned from the past and is fully committed to evolving our business and radically transforming our industry through scientific and technological innovation. Mission Winnow represents who we are today with the world, our transformative journey, new radical thinking and our values.”
OP wishes this was some twisted sketch she written as satire displaying the fantasy of #ethicalcapitalism but this statement is real.

You’ve seen the Mission Winnow logo on previous cars, but this year the logo is a hideous highlighter green which the company acknowledges is intentional and meant to create dialogue. The basic Google Trend search shows that’s exactly what is happening. It is also worth noting that this increase cannot be completely seprated from Formula 1’s overall increase in popularity due to the success of Netflix’s Drive to Survive and Liberty Media’s takeover of the Formula 1 to have a hypervisible social media presence. Marlboro Winnow wants a piece of that action, Google searches for the sponsor shot up the week of March 7, 2021, the week that all Formula 1 teams reveal their car liveries and the Scuderia Ferrari reveal their livery on March 10, 2021, with terms related to Mission Winnow increasing 5000%. See we're having the conversation, but about what?

Why still suck on the corporate titty? Well if the minimum price tag to float a Formula is approximately $200 million dollars in this capitalist society, well, beggars cannot be choosers. And being attached to the most financially and winningest F1 team, Ferrari, the FIA has had yet to impose any sanctions on Philip Morris's subliminal advertising, which is why they barcode chevron raised lots of eyebrows from health experts but the FIA and Ferrari maintained that they violated no anti-tobacco advertising laws. It's also worth noting that the highest ranked FIA positions are held by men that held high positions in a certain Formula 1 team.

The Mission Winnow social media odd, even for a corporation. They have Twitter, a YouTube channel, and an Instagram account. The YouTube account barely has any views (all less than 1000 as the time of this write up), all these odd Zoom calls with people that amount to nothing. However, their most recent YouTube video features the ever popular Scuderia Ferrari drivers Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc in the thumbnail and has garnered 40,000 views, outperforming previous uploads by a long shot. Oh, and they also get super testy when people rightfully call them out on social media. See this reply on their Instagram.




There's even more rude responses to comments, this unfortunately is not a one-off. Customer service 0/10 would not recommend.

Calm down, honey, have a cigarette.

Even though they acknowledge the partnership with Philip Morris International (who owns Marlboro and other tobacco companies), they steadfastly maintain on social media that they are not associated with any brand or develop any product. However the point of establishing Mission Winnow was to make a committment to making product to reduce smoking around the world. But if you Google "Mission Winnow" Philip Morris International pops up and looking at Philip Morris's crazy ass website unhinges ass, they mention Mission Winnow. The World Health Organization has finger-wagged at the FIA saying that they know that "companies" such as Mission Winnow and A Better Tomorrow do absolutely nothing for the benefit of humanity and these are just ways to get advertise sponsors. And Mission Winnow vaguely says a lot of things but as always, no tangible resolution to actually making some positive societal changes. Really, it's all money laundering.




Happy Birthday, Sebastian Vettel!




From clockwise: Someone's Cheesy Dad, an Italian police officer, "you will never be glamma", and early mockups for Vincent Adultman.


The 4-time world champion and former Marlboro spokesman turned 34 yesterday. He spent this weekend with some local schoolchildren to build a wooden car for bees for a "Bee Hotel". Vettel is an ambassador for Bio Bienen Apfel an environmental organization that strives to ensure that bees, a major contributor of our ecosystem can continue flourishing.

Here's a little celebration with the team

https://instagram.com/p/CQ4CUtCo2Qn



Sources 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Tags: eat the rich, sports / athletes
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